Currents of Time

I'm too posting-reluctant to actually say this on Goodreads, but a while ago I read this book, If You Follow Me and the writing is very pretty, but the cat dies/is murdered and it's dumb, and the girls break up and get boyfriends, which is beyond irritating. Also I always feel bad giving books two stars, I really need to get over that.


meanwhile

irl people

please lay off the selfies for like. a day. just a day. *insert self-taken picture of self looking annoyed at self-taken pictures*

#nomore #hashtags #totallypointless #please #updatingjournal #omgyouguys #noreallytheydothis #cereal



My copy of FFXIII-3 arrived and I have been too busy to play it this is so frustrating. And now it's October and things are just going to be nonstop until November.



I have forsaken grammar apparently.

Keyboard keys my cat has damaged: d, s, left arrow, down arrow (actually, this one is just gone), space bar. The down arrow is the only one that I haven't been able to fix. She's so lucky she's so cute. I should really stop letting her sit on this thing, though. but. kitty. ;-; she's so happy to sit on my laptop and purr.


Got a car, did I mention that? Long story. Maybe some other time. Anyway, driving to work now with coworker who rides the same bus as me, and we both used to get a ride from the same person, and I feel so bad because she's a nice person but she is just. So. Christian. Like, in the bad way. The vocal minority way, though she's not vocal about it mostly.

Scientific theory is not the same as any other theory. Evolution. It's an actual fucking thing that actually fucking happens. NOT A THEORY.

And some other stuff, too. But that's one of 'em.


I've been being aggressively cheerful in some places of my life lately and it's causing me to be grumpier in others.


Last weekend was hometown harvest market. Ran into old friend from like 16 years ago. Awkward as hell. Two kids, done nothing with her life. Super depressing, she always had so much potential but no one ever expected anything of her, so she just kinda lived up to what they thought of her, I guess.


Keep starting a really long entry about my dad and getting frustrated and scrapping it.

Now you must tolerate me blathering about XI wow I bet no one has missed this. SO HEY. Been playing XI again, now that XIV is gone and I finally got around to installing it on my new laptop. Eeww, installation.

(See, a friend of mine from XIV decided he wanted to try XI now, 'cause he's got nothing else to do. He started in the wrong city, though, so I finally got off my tail and changed nations, which I've always meant to do anyway, so now I can see a different storyline!) (...The first 5 missions are all fairly similar, with a build-up to the return of the Big Bad from years before the game starts, then the second 5 are all more directly related to the politics and history and everything of your specific nation. I have only done San d'Oria's because Sandy is the best and the royal Elvaan are fantastically ridiculous.)

And there I was, logged in and running around, and I suddenly realised that I am sick to death of Hisi's hairstyle. I mean. It's still cute, I still like it, but I am so sick of staring at it. And so I went and whined about it to my brother. He spent a long time playing around with dat modding in XI (changing his own hairstyle and color, making armor look different, changing monster appearances, all sorts of neat things) and he was always asking me if I wanted anything done, and I never did. BUT NOW I FINALLY HAD SOMETHING I WANTED. And of course nothing I want is ever easy, so I did not just want one of the other available player hairstyles. That would've been simple, just swap my head model with another one and, poof, different. Even if I wanted it a different colour, it'd still be easy. But no. Not that.

So he went around his old haunts finding things other people had made. Faye Valentine? No. Rikku! No, but that one is super adorable, even if they did put eyebrows on her, honestly, everyone knows Mithra don't have eyebrows. How about this weird custom someone else made? Nnnno. Also why is she wearing a Griever earring. How about if we just cut off the ponytail? Let's not.

He found a bunch and I did not like any of them. Finally, he found one exclusive to an NPC is one of the expansion packs. This one? And ooh, that's right, she has a really neat hairstyle... But I don't want that face! Or the earring! And her ears are wrong! And her eyes are blue! And her forehead is too big because her hair there is too short! Noooo! He was probably rolling his eyes pretty hard by this point.

BUT INSTEAD OF TELLING ME TO JUST SHUT UP OMG he accepted the challenge AND. After much effort, he transplanted my face onto the new head! And changed the hair length a bit! AND FIXED THE EARS. Now Hisi has an adorable and fantastic new haircut and I love it and it is wonderful. eeee! (For contrast, here is her original style from the front - with sunglasses why not - and from the side, with a helmet on. Don't feel like swapping it all back just to take two shots. NO MORE PONYTAIL.)


Basically it is BEST and I wanted to share, so now you know.


Also next entry is probably going to be another bout of me getting rid of things. Freebies and non-freebies will both be featured, if all goes according to plan.

I didn't-sleep on the couch at my parents' for a few hours last night. Darn thing is uncomfortable, though, so mostly I went to bed around... what was it, midnight? And tossed and turned fitfully for a bit, sat back up and read for a while, and then tried to rest again until my father came downstairs at 3:30, and then I got up and drove my parents and brother to the airport. Then I drove myself home and tried to sleep in my bed, but by that point I was wide awake, and the cat knew it, so he kept dancing on my head. Ugh.

Also, Hellweek is going about as I'd expected, just in terms of DISASTER. Last year the oven was broken (and though I don't think the smoke-belching incident was around Thanksgiving, it wouldn't entirely surprise me). This year, the department manager is sick, so we're down one set of hands and a whole bunch of work hours, so I'm having to do a heck of a lot more than is generally considered reasonable. Tomorrow at least is a shorter day for me, which could be either a good thing or, if again I come in and nothing has been done yet, a very, very bad one. And then Wednesday I don't have to close, but I have to play with the TSA, which, uh, given a choice of the two, I'd take closing shop any day of the week...

( Subject change! ..wait, are you talking about FFVII again? )

Or I could just write a really long, ridiculous LJ post about it! Whichever. (Seriously, self, come on. FFVII is so old news. No one caaaares.)


Edit:
Also this is totally random and mostly not related but I really miss the ridiculously stupid little things SE used to put in all over the place, like that play in the Gold Saucer, or the opera in VI. We don't see much of that anymore, it feels like. Maybe I'm just tired and losing my mind, though.

I've been overwhelmingly exhausted for the last week or so! And my eyes and the roof of my mouth have been really itchy! And maybe I've been a little sneezy, but I am not sure on that one. Last year, I did not figure out - oh! I have seasonal allergies now! CURSE YOU, LIVING IN TOWN! - until late May. Shortly before BotCon, actually. And they'd cleared up by the time I got back from that, because whatever sets me off evidently doesn't exist in that area of CA at that time of year.

So I thought, maybe I'm not sleeping well? Maybe I am getting a cold! But, no, I drugged myself last night and I've been feeling better since then. So. Allergies.

... It is totally not late May! So either I've picked up more allergies in the last eleven months, or things are coming out a little faster. I'm hoping it's just because spring's a little earlier this year, and that it'll pass quickly again (I only needed to use six pills last year, though I endured life without them for a while). Still. Not happy. At least I'm not having to fight the urge to nap all day quite as much? But it's still making a mess of my brain. Hopefully once I'm settled into DRUGGING MYSELF again, that'll start to ease off, as well, 'cause I'm kinda not digging the depressive state I seem to be sinking into again. I don't want to have to wait potentially weeks to stop feeling so drained (physically, mentally, emotionally... take your pick).



Since I've mentioned BotCon, anyway, I'm getting kind of annoyed that they don't have any information up for us yet ('cause, you know, speaking of when it isn't, it is now not early February, late February, or even early March! OR LATE MARCH). No, 1.5 figure previews does not count as information. I know I can approximate the costs based off previous years and all, but I'd like to just have it dealt with, already, and it cannot possibly be this hard to set something up.

Was talking to my brother last night, he was telling me about his current Knights of the Old Republic 2 files. He's playing through twice, side by side, one good and one evil file.

Today: "my evil kotor2 file got corrupted"


Well, naturally.

( Related IM convo silliness I am preserving here for my own amusement. )

Sooo. I have no idea how to conclude this post.

... part of me really wishes the tags appeared in the order I added them.

Edit:
CRAP. I just noticed that it's October. NOW I HAVE TO HURRY UP AND DECIDE IF I'M GOING TO TRY NaNo THIS YEAR. aaaaaaaaugh.

Went and got Hepatitis A vaccination yesterday (since it was recommended for my trip to Mexico) and now my arm huuuurts.

Everything under the following cut can quite readily be ignored, I just need to get it out of my system. I'd like to start next year without this all pent up inside.

( Family drama stuff, just feeling a bit blue. And angry. )

So, here's to 2009. *raises glass of sparkling grape juice SHUT UP I THINK CHAMPAGNE IS GROSS*

*is the most mature 22 year old in the world*

May it be a good year for everyone!

Rank 10 is so close I can taste it. I have 9-1 cued up, and we're going to try and finish it tonight.

Which just leaves 9-2.

0_o


I got a Thief's Knife tonight. It's level 70, and I'm only 50, but still. I have it! Got an item needed for the first Zilart mission, as well. Tonberries are ugly and hurt when they hit me, and they hoarde keys like you wouldn't believe, but we're done there now, so it doesn't matter.

And I got Dream Boots. :3 Which actually don't look as snazzy with the robe and hat as my Sprinter's Shoes do, but, hey! I also got a Rabbit Belt, which turns me into a wild rabbit / forest hare / rarab / whatever they're going by in your corner of Vana'diel. I hopped around town for about an hour while we waited for everyone to assemble.

( 2 PICTURES )

We're heading out for Cape Terrigan now (hooray for Outpost Warps!), where Velociraptors roam both free and violently. Back to following the Bouncing Atomic Squirrel (perhaps better known as Carbuncle to the lesser mortals). That thing's tail is in at least half of my screenshots and videos.

edit:
9-1 finished! Death ensued. Rather a lot of death. But we still won somehow! Barely. Tomorrow, as planned, we're meeting for 9-2 and I'm so nervous even now that my hands are shaking. Or maybe that's fatigue.
/edit

There's an NPC in the past named Jeremias. I found this both amusing and kind of annoying all at once. He's a Hume, and I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.


I leave you with this rough draft of part of a conversation from a fic Aniko is making me write:

"Sorry," he apologized, and stopped. "You don't know it wouldn't work."
"I can guess."
"We've managed not to kill each other so far," he teased.
"That's hardly an acceptable standard."

To be fair to the first speaker, yes, a lesser likelihood of being murdered is something to look for in a potential partner. One shouldn't ever forget this. And, really, the second speaker's just in something like denial, and they both know it.

That little voice in the back of your mind is smarter than you, and is there for a reason. Pay more attention to it!

This message brought to you by Jecca triple-guessing her answers on tests when they're correct the first time, Jecca second-guessing her initial identifications of various things when they're correct they first time, Jecca attempting to drive home last night despite thinking the roads were frighteningly messy, and Jecca deciding not to worry about not being able to remember putting her car keys away last night. She didn't. When her parents turned up to fetch her and the Honda (she didn't crash; she was smart enough to pull off the road and call home), she left her keys in the ignition for her father to use and he took them. Thankfully, when she called him in a panic this morning ten minutes after she needed to have left for class, he remembered that he left them in his coat, and she managed to get into town in time for her final.


But now classes are over and my work is all done.


So all I need to stress over now (well, actually, it's not like I was actually stressing over schoolwork, anyway, so I guess it makes no difference) is if I managed to pick up the Trojan that's going around and hacking people's FFXI accounts. The player base finally appears to have isolated the culprit (the list of suspects was worryingly long) and while I rarely - if ever - visit Somepage, I'm scanning for it, anyway. Someone took the time to tell me how to check and better safe than sorry. All clear so far, but I'm only halfway done. IF YOU HAVE HACKED MY MITHRA, I WILL FIND YOU AND STAB YOU IN HER HONOR, YOU FIENDS.

Edit:
We're safe! Though there was a panic when I searched the Registry, since my previous search cropped up. AAAGH I GOT I-- no, wait, that's just the hard drive search. Ahahaha! Silly me! orz

... *useless!*

Regarding Edit II of last entry:

A FOURTH.

At least this one has paragraph breaks. I'm still getting rid of it. I DO NOT NEED MORE THAN ONE COPY OF THIS THING, and I must've been a bit too ambitious, thinking I was honestly going to rewrite that mess even once, never mind more than.


Seriously, this is ridiculous.



I have managed to clear out six notebooks and two journals, and my hard drive is beginning to hate me (so are my wrists and fingers. TYPE TYPE TYPE ERASE ERASE ERASE TYPE ERASE TYPE TYPE PAIN ERASE ERASE ERASE OH GOD WHERE IS MY WRIST BRACE TYPE), but that's what blank disks were invented for. Hello, backup. Goodbye, writing.

Though my CD-wallet-thing is full, so I'll need to buy a new one or just weed through this one and get rid of obsolete backups.

Another box of old supplies and folders and papers yields more surprises, these ones less glee-inducing than the ridiculous stick figures and notes from school and the like!

In this box, I found a bunch of my old drawings/sketches, which isn't so bad except I could draw even less then than I can now, which means a lot of it's really awful. Also, some of its stuff based of things I was writing at the time, and therefore irredeemably bad solely on principle.

And, of course, a lot of old writing. AUGH AUGH BURN IT. WHAT WAS I THINKING. (To be honest, I knew it was awful at the time, but was forcing myself to write something every day and so just ended up writing it anyway.)

IT IS SO, SO AWFUL. UGH. UGH.

I have no idea what to do with any of it, either! I try not to throw out any of my old work, but this is seriously, seriously awful stuff.


There are approximately TEN THOUSAND (probably more) hand written pages of notes from video games. Bits of script, key combinations, item locations, puzzle clues, oh, God, you name it, if it's from Final Fantasy VII, VIII (especially VIII), IX, X, X-2, Chrono Cross, or Kingdom Hearts, I've got it. I honestly cannot believe the amount of stuff I have written down. THANK GOD FOR PERSONAL COMPUTERS AND INTERNET. I can just get rid of all this stuff.


At the bottom of the box, I found some slightly more recent stuff - from about 2003, I'd imagine. It's pages and pages and pages and notebooks and... everything, just everything full of notes and images and character bios and just information on a story I had planned to start writing featuring characters created by my friends and I. Just for fun, you know? Everyone seemed really into it, then all of a sudden they all weren't. It was a very abrupt change and I never quite figured out what triggered it.

But looking at this stuff just makes me sad. I remember when I was friends with people and stuff and it just ... it's upsetting, and what I really want to do is talk to something about this stuff, but there is no one online right now except my brother, who wouldn't even pretend to care, and I know my parents wouldn't care, either. I don't want to SAY it, I want someone to HEAR it. I guess I will keep it bottled up forever instead or something. BLEH.

On the more positive side, since this is the universe that Jade and Okame were originally inhabiting, there's a bunch of stuff on them. Most of it's out of date and none of it's actual writing, but there are some little doodles that I really like. And, oh, God, it was so obvious even then that they were completely together. How did I manage to not notice that for so many years?