Currents of Time

I tried to post last night and couldn't get this site to load and NOW I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT I CAME HERE FOR but anyway life update, I'm still a depression beast (brain pills continue to work wonders though we're also still approaching DISASTER SEASON) with low-level generalized anxiety but also now I've been diagnosed with ADHD and am playing the fun game of trying to decide if I want to try medication. I feel like I get by okay at work for the most part, but I can't deny that my apartment and life in general OUTSIDE the office is kind of an extreme crisis, so uh. Idek.


...... All my Rana icons are from Legacy and her hair color looks drastically different even though I didn't make any changes to it (I only changed her tail style) and it weirds me out.


oh god I'd forgotten how much tagging entries on a phone sucks if you're not using the tag editing feature help help help

WE START WITH A SILLY STORY. Because it's Valentine's Day and I can pretend it's sort of related. I remember this every time Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Meee-eeee-heee" comes on the radio... The first time I heard that song, it was, I don't know, 4 am or something. I'd been woken up by something, so I was really groggy and not processing everything quite right, and that song was playing (I need some sort of noise going on, so I just leave the radio on really low - the volume didn't help). I heard a song comparing/contrasting herself to her girlfriend rather than a song comparing/contrasting herself to someone else's girlfriend. I was really surprised that it was on the radio.

OH NO A STORY ABOUT WORK NOW: CHEESECAKE FIASCO (AKA Cheesegate, AKA Cheesecake 2010). (I only came up with the first of those. My coworkers are responsible for the other two.)

( Cut! )

I went with some people (some of them were friends, some of them were people I don't really know, though I did go to school with a few of them) to see The Wolfman on Friday after work! IT WAS ABOUT AS HILARIOUSLY BAD AS IT LOOKS. Oh, man, I laughed so hard.

I had yesterday off, so I really had wanted to sleep in a bit, but then yesterday was also the annual pancake breakfast (all you can eat pancakes, sausage, and bacon for five dollars and a non-perishable food item) fundraiser, so I didn't get to sleep in, after all. It was delicious, though. Then Mom and I ran around running errands and doing some other stuff before she dropped me back off in town! And the internet issues had been resolved while I'd been out. (Thursday evening - or maybe it started before that, but I was at work, so who knows? - the internet started flaking out. Friday, there was no internet. Late Friday night, my main computer - and only my main computer - had limited internet. Saturday afternoon, everything randomly fixed itself, but we still had it all reset by the provider, just in case.)

So, yes. Too much work, stupid customers (well, what else is new?), and then no internet = really, really long last week and a half. But is it over now!


Finally, here is that 5 Songs Starting With A Designated Letter meme! You know the drill. (MAN, lots of memes lately.)

( My letter was R! There are more than five songs 'cause I'm bad with numbers. )

Whew! We're done now.

Is this Jecca being too lazy to swap to brinkoftwilight to post this? YES. YES IT IS.

( Game Stats )

Place bets now on whether I'll have actually accomplished anything by this time next year!

Time wasting on YouTube. Almost six minutes of my life that I should probably feel I've wasted, but don't. They aren't words anymore.


There are some very strange and very, very bored people in this fandom. 4:42 - 4:50 is one of my favourite scenes ever, and the rubber ducky gets a cameo at 5:04.



Of course, now my spare few minutes are over and I have to go back to working. It was worth it for the entertainment factor.

Finally booked the BotCon hotel. I would have done it sooner, but there was a slim possibility of someone coming with me. He got back to me today with an unsurprising negative. Honestly, it's a relief. The last few times I've tried to plan trips with other people, they've claimed to be available but then canceled at the last possible minute. (I realize things can come up unexpectedly, but to have this happen with five people for one, three another, and then three again for yet another is a bit frustrating.)

Flying alone, rooming alone. I've done my share of travel and staying in hotels, but this is the first time I'm going to be completely alone. Fortunately, I have three months with which to both start and stop freaking out. Hopefully we can avoid starting at all, though.

Now BotCon preregistration just has to get up, and I'm all set! I wish I had a better idea of what the exclusives are going to be, because that'd tell me if I want the full Primus package or something slightly less expensive.

The good news for all of you is that now that I've committed myself to it, I will stop angsting all over the place (look, it's even on the curtains. Oh, what a mess) about it.


I'm hoping to write something using either my Final Fantasy XI characters or Jade/Okame for this month, if only because I can usually make up something for both groups when I've absolutely no idea what to write otherwise.

Still open to suggestions, though. (Come on, this is your chance to request I write insanely bizarre things that I'd otherwise refuse! Don't believe that. I'm easily corrupted.)

Speaking of FFXI, which we weren't, I loathe Red Mage. I am not a mage. I am not enjoying leveling this job at all. It is, at least, marginally better than White or Black would have been, but still.

FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR DEITY HERE. NO.

I DO NOT NEED TO WRITE ANOTHER SILENT HILL CROSSOVER, AND IT MOST CERTAINLY DOESN'T NEED TO BE A DIRECT SEQUEL TO THE FIRST ONE. (NO ONE EVEN READ THAT. YOU'D THINK THIS WOULD DISCOURAGE ME.)



... MIRAGE, I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T STOP SMIRKING AT ME SO SMUGLY, YOU'RE NEXT. YOU'LL GET STUCK IN THE HELLTOWN WITH SOMEONE NAMED JEREMIAH AND YOU'LL BE CHASED BY DEMON CAT-CARS OR SOMETHING. EVEN THOUGH THAT MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU BE ANGSTY ABOUT A CLOSE CALL WHEN YOU HAVE A MILLION AND TWO OTHER MORE REASONABLE THINGS TO ANGST ABOUT. SHUT UP AND GET IN THE BOX WITH ALL THE OTHER ALTERNATORS.

please dont it would be so lonely if you were all packed up

mirage why is there a spiderweb on you the spiders should all be dead or asleep or something by now and that wasnt there yesterday



There are Hanukkah songs stuck in my head. This would almost make sense if not for two very minor details:
- Hanukkah is over.
- I am not Jewish.


I have no sanity.

Jecca's day:

( Chatlogs with Brain )

So apparently I am writing this now, because Aniko likes my Brain and feeds it Brain-cookies, and the thing was writing itself anyway, and augh.

Monday was awful! And it was an awful end of an awful work-week. AWFULNESS ABOUNDS. Thankfully, today is a blessedly work-free day. No work! Finally! A day off! Now I whine about yesterday, but I will put all of that under a cut so it can be avoided easily.

( Please don't take a picture. )

To celebrate my finally having a day off, last night I stole my brother's copy of Knights of the Old Republic, installed it on my laptop, and created a character. In typical fashion, after I'd picked a face and placed some of her stats, she peered out and decided to name herself. My characters always name themselves. It's very bizarre. I don't know when it started, because I have clear memories of struggling to come up with names for some of my earlier Diablo II characters.

Anyway, I was planning on either using Jade (even though Jade's claimed that one, because the face I chose is similar. Skin's too light and eyes are too blue and not green, but still similar), but, no. She wanted Kyra, but apparently there's an actor who spells her name like that and pronounces it "Kira," so I went with "Kaira." She's warming up to it well enough. (The good news is, despite her physical similarities to Jade, Kaira appears to be much nicer. Hooray!)

Though I can't complain too much, really. I'd rather they chose their own identities right from the beginning, rather than just deciding they weren't going to listen to me one day (like Jade, argh), or sneaking up on me. The sneaks usually tweak the spelling of their name (like Zil), or something similar.


And, really, today has already proven The Best Day Ever. I started my laptop up to find a message waiting over YIM telling me to get on FFXI as soon as I could, so I logged in and boggled for a minute over what the heck I was doing in South Gustaberg when I logged out in West Ronfaure (Gustaberg is several zones away) and macro-swapped my Summerfest Sunbreeze Fest outfit for my normal gear (yes, the fact that I macro-swapped is important, because it means I didn't open my inventory). Also hadn't thought much of the fact that I was standing in the spawning area for Leaping Lizzy (a Notorious Monster who drops a really nice pair of boots).

Anyway, finally Aniko told me to just check my equipment, so, uh. Dude.

Dude.

I have been after that miserable hairpin for about as long as I've been playing this game (we're approaching four years now). It has eluded me! For years! The drop rate is horrible, everyone tries to kill the monster it drops off (because everyone wants it) and the non-rare/ex version (meaning it's tradable) sells for more money than I will ever have. I FLAIL.

And also I owe Aniko a piece of my soul.

And now we (she managed to bring people with her!) are camping the aforementioned Leaping Lizzy and I need to stop being distracted.

Was I thinking too much, or not enough? Either way, the ridiculously high levels of emo that had started to take over have been driven back out. Victory!

I really do hate it when that happens. Someday I will figure out what triggers it, and then I will not have to deal with it anymore. (And someday we will all have flying unicorns. gaaah)


More GT may finally be coming around! (Yes, that appears to have become its working title, if only because I am the worst person in the world at titling things.) There also appears to be a very odd off-shoot of it crawling around in my head. We're blaming Aniko (again) for that branch, but it was my own Brain that decided the two were connected, so, eh. This is quickly turning into a very bizarre alternate universe. ... In which other alternate universe versions of some of the characters in it have cameos. (No, really. I've already written some of it and it is... bizarre.)

Can I chalk this up to sleep deprivation? I've got about six hours for the last three or four days and it has to be affecting me by this point.

I CANNOT STOP hearing my watch tick.

It is on the other side of the room because I threw it there.


AUGH!


But as soon as I glance at it, it stops. Clearly my watch is trying to drive me insane. It is WORKING.


( Unrelated: Work Angst. )