Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2008-12-31 04:46 pm
jecca_mehlota) wrote2008-12-31 04:46 pm
Year End Purging
Went and got Hepatitis A vaccination yesterday (since it was recommended for my trip to Mexico) and now my arm huuuurts.
Everything under the following cut can quite readily be ignored, I just need to get it out of my system. I'd like to start next year without this all pent up inside.
YES, DAD, GOD FORBID I ONLY BE HUMAN AND SO INCAPABLE OF BEING THE PERFECT DAUGHTER 24/7 ALL YEAR THROUGH. SORRY I APPARENTLY RUINED YOUR LIFE AGAIN WITH MY ONE INCIDENT OF NON-PERFECT-DAUGHTERNESS IN THE LAST MONTH+ BUT A LEAST I'M MOVING OUT IN A FEW WEEKS.
DON'T WORRY, I CAN MAKE SURE WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AFTER I LEAVE. LORD KNOWS YOU SURE AS HELL MAKE IT HARD TO WANT TO.
It's my food, and if I say you cannot eat it, that means you cannot eat it. FORGIVE ME if experience has shown me that asking you not to eat it and politely telling you not to eat it LEADS TO YOU EATING IT ANYWAY. Yes, I know I could have been nicer, but even how I told you to leave it alone is no excuse for your tempter tantrum and subsequent banishing me from the downstairs.
IF NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT MY FOOD IS REALLY GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE, WELL, THAT'S REALLY MORE YOUR PROBLEM THEN MINE. Maybe if you had an ounce of self control, this wouldn't be an issue BUT OH, NO, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR INABILITY TO NOT EAT EVERYTHING. IT'S OUR FAULT FOR LEAVING IT IN THE HOUSE, AND THE FOOD'S FAULT FOR EXISTING.
GRAHSDYFLKJGWAJBGYSHUDIJFKG
My mom's mother called, uh. Recently, I guess, I don't remember exactly when. I lose track of days when I don't have anything to base it off (like classes or appointments or, you know, anything). I didn't have to talk to her, which was good, because she (my grandmother) kind of disappoints me and I never know how to talk to her, and generally get upset with how she still treats me like a six year old, anyway. Of course, not being able to talk to her upsets me, too, because, come on, she's my grandmother. I've got some fond memories of her (not too many, but that's mostly because we rarely see each other), and I'm sure on some level or another I really love her, but... eehhh.
Most of my California relatives are this way, actually. After my last trip out there (... was that really only a year ago? Wow. Been a long year), I gave up on ever trying to get to know any of my cousins.
ANYWAY I DUNNO Mom talked to her (her mother, I mean), but I know I didn't, my brother and father probably didn't, either. I am not sure why I wasn't offered the phone, actually. She may have called on a day I had work and I was getting ready to go, but I can't remember, so I'm not sure.
And, I mean, on one hand, I can't even fault her that much for still treating me (and my brother, too) as a six year old. I've only seen her once in the last four years, only three times in the last eight. I think it's five in the last ten? But that's not just because we never go out there. She never - NONE OF THEM EVER - come out here. (Though they will ask if we have any idea how expensive it is to fly from CA to VT NO IT'S NOT LIKE WE NEVER DO IT MOM ONLY GOES OUT THERE AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR.) So we never see her and it's hard to talk to someone on the phone when they talk down at you so much.
So she doesn't know us at all. (I suppose it's just as well she treats me like a kid so much. Otherwise she'd be asking why I don't have a boyfriend yet, and then we'd have a huge mess. She doesn't even believe homosexuality - which is at least widely known - exists, so how the hell am I supposed to try and explain asexuality? And then the difference between being asexual and aromantic, because that pretty much always follows, because people assuming asexuality = DOES NOT LOVE ANYTHING OR ANYONE EVER just irritates me to no end and I am fully capable of affection. ... Aaaannd then we'd inevitably have to go into affectional orientation, and asdhkfjglh no, it is just better that she think of me as six for the rest of time.)
(ahsdfjkghrnbj)
It just feels to me that none of my relatives from CA care at all. When I was out there, literally none of them made any attempt to talk to me when they say me. I was completely ignored by ALL of my cousins (11 of them) and almost all of my aunts and uncles. (One of them was unemployed and had some family drama going on, so was living with my grandmother - and Mom and I stayed at her house while we were out there, too. He's generally pretty cool, anyway, though. He likes cars. BUT, TANGENT, talked with him a lot. Probably more than my grandmother, actually. But, you know, only because he was living with her. Otherwise I'd only have seen him on the day of the service... which, you know, is the next paragraph.)
We had a funeral service for my grandfather (long dead, I never even knew him. He was being moved from... Minnesota or North Dakota or something) and my uncle (not so long dead), and everyone was there, and the only people who'd speak to me weren't people I was related to, weren't even people I'd ever met before (or not anyone I could remember meeting before, perhaps when I was very young...). This wasn't even a case of me ignoring everyone else. I said hello to them all and was ignored. I left after three or four hours to go hang out with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aerinity and mysticeden for a day+ and I said goodbye to everyone, though didn't get much in the way of responses.
A few hours later, my cousins were getting ready to go see a movie, and as they were walking out, one of my aunts called out, "Wait, what about Jecca?" Which made everyone look around and go, oh, yeah, her. Guess we should invite her. At which point my mother reminded them I'd said goodbye and left much earlier that evening. That was disappointing to hear about.
I guess things like Christmas with their strong ~FAMILY TIMES~ messages get me bummed.
But, honestly, that's enough of this.
So, here's to 2009. *raises glass of sparkling grape juice SHUT UP I THINK CHAMPAGNE IS GROSS*
*is the most mature 22 year old in the world*
May it be a good year for everyone!
Everything under the following cut can quite readily be ignored, I just need to get it out of my system. I'd like to start next year without this all pent up inside.
YES, DAD, GOD FORBID I ONLY BE HUMAN AND SO INCAPABLE OF BEING THE PERFECT DAUGHTER 24/7 ALL YEAR THROUGH. SORRY I APPARENTLY RUINED YOUR LIFE AGAIN WITH MY ONE INCIDENT OF NON-PERFECT-DAUGHTERNESS IN THE LAST MONTH+ BUT A LEAST I'M MOVING OUT IN A FEW WEEKS.
DON'T WORRY, I CAN MAKE SURE WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AFTER I LEAVE. LORD KNOWS YOU SURE AS HELL MAKE IT HARD TO WANT TO.
It's my food, and if I say you cannot eat it, that means you cannot eat it. FORGIVE ME if experience has shown me that asking you not to eat it and politely telling you not to eat it LEADS TO YOU EATING IT ANYWAY. Yes, I know I could have been nicer, but even how I told you to leave it alone is no excuse for your tempter tantrum and subsequent banishing me from the downstairs.
IF NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT MY FOOD IS REALLY GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE, WELL, THAT'S REALLY MORE YOUR PROBLEM THEN MINE. Maybe if you had an ounce of self control, this wouldn't be an issue BUT OH, NO, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR INABILITY TO NOT EAT EVERYTHING. IT'S OUR FAULT FOR LEAVING IT IN THE HOUSE, AND THE FOOD'S FAULT FOR EXISTING.
GRAHSDYFLKJGWAJBGYSHUDIJFKG
My mom's mother called, uh. Recently, I guess, I don't remember exactly when. I lose track of days when I don't have anything to base it off (like classes or appointments or, you know, anything). I didn't have to talk to her, which was good, because she (my grandmother) kind of disappoints me and I never know how to talk to her, and generally get upset with how she still treats me like a six year old, anyway. Of course, not being able to talk to her upsets me, too, because, come on, she's my grandmother. I've got some fond memories of her (not too many, but that's mostly because we rarely see each other), and I'm sure on some level or another I really love her, but... eehhh.
Most of my California relatives are this way, actually. After my last trip out there (... was that really only a year ago? Wow. Been a long year), I gave up on ever trying to get to know any of my cousins.
ANYWAY I DUNNO Mom talked to her (her mother, I mean), but I know I didn't, my brother and father probably didn't, either. I am not sure why I wasn't offered the phone, actually. She may have called on a day I had work and I was getting ready to go, but I can't remember, so I'm not sure.
And, I mean, on one hand, I can't even fault her that much for still treating me (and my brother, too) as a six year old. I've only seen her once in the last four years, only three times in the last eight. I think it's five in the last ten? But that's not just because we never go out there. She never - NONE OF THEM EVER - come out here. (Though they will ask if we have any idea how expensive it is to fly from CA to VT NO IT'S NOT LIKE WE NEVER DO IT MOM ONLY GOES OUT THERE AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR.) So we never see her and it's hard to talk to someone on the phone when they talk down at you so much.
So she doesn't know us at all. (I suppose it's just as well she treats me like a kid so much. Otherwise she'd be asking why I don't have a boyfriend yet, and then we'd have a huge mess. She doesn't even believe homosexuality - which is at least widely known - exists, so how the hell am I supposed to try and explain asexuality? And then the difference between being asexual and aromantic, because that pretty much always follows, because people assuming asexuality = DOES NOT LOVE ANYTHING OR ANYONE EVER just irritates me to no end and I am fully capable of affection. ... Aaaannd then we'd inevitably have to go into affectional orientation, and asdhkfjglh no, it is just better that she think of me as six for the rest of time.)
(ahsdfjkghrnbj)
It just feels to me that none of my relatives from CA care at all. When I was out there, literally none of them made any attempt to talk to me when they say me. I was completely ignored by ALL of my cousins (11 of them) and almost all of my aunts and uncles. (One of them was unemployed and had some family drama going on, so was living with my grandmother - and Mom and I stayed at her house while we were out there, too. He's generally pretty cool, anyway, though. He likes cars. BUT, TANGENT, talked with him a lot. Probably more than my grandmother, actually. But, you know, only because he was living with her. Otherwise I'd only have seen him on the day of the service... which, you know, is the next paragraph.)
We had a funeral service for my grandfather (long dead, I never even knew him. He was being moved from... Minnesota or North Dakota or something) and my uncle (not so long dead), and everyone was there, and the only people who'd speak to me weren't people I was related to, weren't even people I'd ever met before (or not anyone I could remember meeting before, perhaps when I was very young...). This wasn't even a case of me ignoring everyone else. I said hello to them all and was ignored. I left after three or four hours to go hang out with
aerinity and mysticeden for a day+ and I said goodbye to everyone, though didn't get much in the way of responses.A few hours later, my cousins were getting ready to go see a movie, and as they were walking out, one of my aunts called out, "Wait, what about Jecca?" Which made everyone look around and go, oh, yeah, her. Guess we should invite her. At which point my mother reminded them I'd said goodbye and left much earlier that evening. That was disappointing to hear about.
I guess things like Christmas with their strong ~FAMILY TIMES~ messages get me bummed.
But, honestly, that's enough of this.
So, here's to 2009. *raises glass of sparkling grape juice SHUT UP I THINK CHAMPAGNE IS GROSS*
*is the most mature 22 year old in the world*
May it be a good year for everyone!