Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2007-11-09 12:57 pm
jecca_mehlota) wrote2007-11-09 12:57 pm
I am tired of dealing with my past-self!
She was a bit of an idiot.
Today I started the incredibly tedious task of ridding myself of several - dare I say, most - of my older writing pieces (all written around the year 2000). Not the cracky stuff I narrated to my mother when I was six (or younger), because that stuff is amusing and BETTER than this stuff.
It is all in pencil, so I'm erasing what I can to salvage some of the journals (I have some very nice journals!) and the rest I am pulling out and tossing. Or maybe burning, because if I burn it, it'll be gone faster.
I am so sick of this stuff. I knew it was awful at the time and it has only become more awful over the years. It must go. I will sleep easier knowing it is gone from this planet. Go, little stories, go. Fly on to a better land.
I do feel bad about this, because I was so determined to save everything, but there is no room and it is so bad that I feel it is justified. It's not like the ideas themselves are gone, and I still have all of the characters I invented. Some of them have moved into different realities or changed their personalities a bit, but they are still the same. And the stuff of it that's fanfiction is a special kind of bad, and appears to ignore several aspects of canon (though, in my younger self's defense, I wasn't aware of all those aspects at the time).
But, you know, it's so bad. I can't read them without feeling embarrassed for Young Jecca, and also if someone were to find and read these I would possibly die because they really are that horrid. At least they aren't self-inserts. (PRAISE whatever region of my brain refuses to deal with creating characters to put into preexisting / Fandom-Based Realities!)
The artwork goes next. :D
Edit:
A stellar example of how awful my writing used to be:
"It was shattered as easily as a glass dropped on a floor would be."
Even ignoring the awkwardness of that line, I WAS TALKING ABOUT A BUILDING. WHAT.
I do not like my writing now, either, but at least it is better than that. Good Lord.
Edit II:
WHY DO I HAVE THREE COPIES OF THIS ONE? They are all hand-written. One is the original (and only complete) copy, written on computer paper... The stack is very thick.
The second is, as near as I can tell, a completely unchanged in any way rewrite in a notebook - or at least the first five-or-so pages (out of, y'know, a few hundred?), anyway. I've erased that, because the notebook is blank, otherwise. The third is in a journal and ALSO completely unchanged (wtf, self?), and currently being erased.
The original can just stay where it is, but, seriously, three copies? Of the same thing? The same really awful thing that I didn't even like while writing? (OH, WOW, THAT SURE NARROWS IT DOWN, JECCA.)
Today I started the incredibly tedious task of ridding myself of several - dare I say, most - of my older writing pieces (all written around the year 2000). Not the cracky stuff I narrated to my mother when I was six (or younger), because that stuff is amusing and BETTER than this stuff.
It is all in pencil, so I'm erasing what I can to salvage some of the journals (I have some very nice journals!) and the rest I am pulling out and tossing. Or maybe burning, because if I burn it, it'll be gone faster.
I am so sick of this stuff. I knew it was awful at the time and it has only become more awful over the years. It must go. I will sleep easier knowing it is gone from this planet. Go, little stories, go. Fly on to a better land.
I do feel bad about this, because I was so determined to save everything, but there is no room and it is so bad that I feel it is justified. It's not like the ideas themselves are gone, and I still have all of the characters I invented. Some of them have moved into different realities or changed their personalities a bit, but they are still the same. And the stuff of it that's fanfiction is a special kind of bad, and appears to ignore several aspects of canon (though, in my younger self's defense, I wasn't aware of all those aspects at the time).
But, you know, it's so bad. I can't read them without feeling embarrassed for Young Jecca, and also if someone were to find and read these I would possibly die because they really are that horrid. At least they aren't self-inserts. (PRAISE whatever region of my brain refuses to deal with creating characters to put into preexisting / Fandom-Based Realities!)
The artwork goes next. :D
Edit:
A stellar example of how awful my writing used to be:
"It was shattered as easily as a glass dropped on a floor would be."
Even ignoring the awkwardness of that line, I WAS TALKING ABOUT A BUILDING. WHAT.
I do not like my writing now, either, but at least it is better than that. Good Lord.
Edit II:
WHY DO I HAVE THREE COPIES OF THIS ONE? They are all hand-written. One is the original (and only complete) copy, written on computer paper... The stack is very thick.
The second is, as near as I can tell, a completely unchanged in any way rewrite in a notebook - or at least the first five-or-so pages (out of, y'know, a few hundred?), anyway. I've erased that, because the notebook is blank, otherwise. The third is in a journal and ALSO completely unchanged (wtf, self?), and currently being erased.
The original can just stay where it is, but, seriously, three copies? Of the same thing? The same really awful thing that I didn't even like while writing? (OH, WOW, THAT SURE NARROWS IT DOWN, JECCA.)
no subject
no subject
There is some awful, awful, horrible stuff that I wrote at the request of someone I am no longer friends with and those are horrible Mary Sue self-inserts - of her (are you familiar with Sailor Moon? She was one of those people who created a "Sailor Earth," even though that is clearly Tuxedo Mask's job. She had her own talking cat and everything). I only wrote them because she was my friend at the time, but I hated them even then. THEY ARE GONE AND I WILL NOT EVER MISS THEM. YOU CANNOT FORCE ME TO. Just believe me that the world is a better place now.
(I am keeping some of it, because I do dislike disposing of everything ever that I don't like anymore, but there is a MASSIVE box full of the stuff and there is simply NO ROOM for it. I am moving out in January! Some of it simply has to go! ...But I will never get rid of my simple-paragraph-long story about reindeer, because it is the most brilliant thing ever.)