Currents of Time

idek what this entry is about to be, other than short, but I keep having this - I don't want to call it an intrusive thought, because those are negative things. I have having this realisation? That my relationship with my depression has been possibly irrevocably changed by FFXIV / Endwalker, and I don't think I could explain how or why even if I tried, and any effort would contain massive, massive spoilers, but.

it's comforting?

Spoilers disclaimer and I have no proof but I think Shadowbringers will end up taking place in the first shard, rather than where we are now (.... do we know Hydaelyn's place in the order? I don't think we do. That's unrelated, though). It explains the world and the "angel" in the trailer, it explains Thancred, it explains the "threads" being broken, and it explains why we keep hearing [name redacted] of all people in our heads.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but if I'm right I get to laugh.

oh my god why am I in so much pain today I HAVE BEEN TAKING MY PAIN KILLERS. WHAT IS GOING ON. WHY, ANKLE. TIBIA. THING.

*sob*

And yet it's still only like a 6, 7 on the Ankle Pain scale. I HAVE HAD WORSE. But fuck it all if that means I enjoy this. wtf is going to happen to me when i run out of pain meds tomorrow i am so afraid


Anyway, Baco wanted some pic spam from my MMOs, but, as mentioned way back on Actual Day 14, I haven't really been playing XI lately, so I haven't pulled screencaps from it onto my external recently. BUT HAVE SOME STUFF FROM FFXIV. Some of them are pretty, some of them are weird.

( images duh )

While I realise this would have made more sense to ask earlier, what's a good (free) image hosting site people use? Facebook is okay for photos and all, but it ruins screencaps.

Okay, first, yay, Goodreads has announced their vote winners and The Martian took the trophy for Sci-Fi. That was one of the first books I read on my kindle. It was glorious. Mark is kind of a sarcastic asshole who cracks jokes because seriously, okay, he's stuck on Mars with an extremely high chance of DEATH. What the hell else do you do? I RECOMMEND IT. i was about to tell how i spent the last bit of the book trying to read from behind my hands but apparently i already made that entry


SO ANYWAY. squeemu wants to know, "The world ends, not with a bang, but a ____? BASICALLY, what is your favorite/most compelling apocalypse scenario?"

Despite (or perhaps because of?) the bizarrely high quantity of world-ending disaster fiction I read, I had to really think about this one. What I have decided on is the old classic, you know: rocks fall, everyone dies. Moons, big ol' rocks, heck space stations, whatever. Just throw it at me from space!

And then I had to think, well, why? The most immediate answer seemed, well, maybe FFXIV? That whole Apocalypse Event sure threw me for on an emotional rollercoaster, after all. But, no, there's also that The Last Policeman series that I really like (even if book 3 is still stupid expensive so I haven't been able to finish it yet... maybe the last book drops the ball) (edit: last book was amazing and I cried). Though I guess I started reading that after Dalamud started its descent.

And of course marginally more thought reminds me that FFVII ALSO featured Death From Above, and that game holds a special place in my heart, even though I've, er, never actually replayed it. I keep meaning to. It just never happens.

And even before that I, like most kids, when through an extreme dinosaur obsession phase, and what do we presume killed them off? THAT'S RIGHT. ROCKS. From spaaaaaaaaaaace.

Why, though? Is it the inevitable impending doom? The drama and angst it brings out? Is it just because I so look forward to it being miraculously averted? That only happened once. OR MAYBE TWICE I DON'T KNOW, WORLD OF TROUBLE, COULD YOU TRY BEING LESS THAN TEN DOLLARS FOR A DIGITAL COPY? I don't think it's because I look forward to it being avoided. Maybe it's because it's uncommon enough for the world to actually end that I like it? The day saving thing worked in VII, but I wouldn't change this for the world (and I guess it would literally be for that world). I STILL CAN'T WATCH THAT DAMN VIDEO WITHOUT GETTING FEELINGS ALL OVER EVERYTHING. FUCK. We still thought Eorzea as we know it was ending then. None of this "five years" shit, people were throwing around hundreds. I still kinda wish Square had gone with that. I guess if it had been an actual moon collision instead of a damn DRAGON ERUPTION it would've made more sense for it to be longer, but five years is enough time to make something of a recovery from WHOOPS YOU'RE ON FIRE. fffffffffffffffffff bahamuuuuut.



A-anyway. In reality, I expect humanity will wipe itself out either via war or environmental destruction (both, really), but there's something really compelling for me about that rock fall. Though like hell would I want to live to see one.



... oh my god this icon is actually relevant to something that never happens.



UNRELATED (mostly? I guess with a title like that it can't be entirely off-topic), so many people dislike the vocal portion of this track. I do not understand why. I think it is fantastic. DEAL WITH IT, HATERS.

TRAVEL ENTRY THE FIRST because i was a bit busy near the end of last month. So! Final Fantasy XIV ver2.0 / A Realm Reborn turned one year old recently! And Squeenix decided to celebrate by bringing back their Fan Festivals. They had a bunch of them for FFXI, but that was many years ago, when I was younger and even more broke. And they were always in Los Angeles, which, you know, that's fine, but by the time I was old enough to feel confident in myself to consider going, I was already flying off to BotCons, and two weekend trips to the west coast in one year is still more than I want to bother with, even though I could probably get away with it now. I HAVE ALWAYS REGRETTED THIS. So when they announced they were throwing one for XIV, even though it was in October and I already had plans for TFCon Chicago, and even though it was all the way over in Las Vegas, I was like, I'M GOING.

Fortunately, they were considerate enough to not plan it for the same weekend as TFCon. I was not prepared to deal with that. Back-to-back weekends, instead, which, while exhausting, was at least physically possibly for me to pull off.

( So here is my Vegas trip! )

And that was my Vegas trip, in less than 4,000 words.

(It did not END there, of course, because I'd bought stuff for my in-game friends and then I had the drama of trying to get it shipped before leaving for TFCon. I did just barely manage it over my lunch hour. Despite there being a post office like five minutes from my work. I stood in line - THE ONLY PERSON IN LINE - for 40 minutes.)

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. Despite all the horrid line mismanagement, I had a blast. I will totally go again if they have another one next year.

Distressed. Depressed. Mooooooooooooooooooooood.

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY


FFXIV just launched a Recruit a Friend campaign and oh my god I want the items. Also I want people to play 'cause it's awesome. AND SO I MAKE AN OFFER:

If someone wants to try FFXIV, and I don't mean just the free trial, I mean, play the game for free, LET ME KNOW. You must buy yourself a copy of the game - it is not too expensive, only like 20, 25 dollars USA, I think. Platform doesn't matter, it is on Windows PC, PS3, and PS4 now, and they all play on the same servers - and you accept my friend recruitment thing. I - I guess if you're really super interested and have a computer you can play but, but are super broke, I could buy it for you over Steam, too?


I WILL PAY FOR YOUR FIRST 90 DAYS. Three months, no questions.


And, should you want it, you can have instant access to a group of capable, friendly, nerds from all over the globe (we got Australians, Canadians, Europeans - I think Austria but I can't swear to it, Americans...) to help you out. Or you can pretend you don't know me and just go about your business. I won't even have to know your in-game name if you'd rather.

Hello! How'd your holidays go? Are you surviving the bizarre weather? Are you enjoying the new year so far? Did your laptop power cable try to kill you this morning?

SMOKE. SMOKE AND BURNING AND OH GOD.

Aside, from that, though. My cat had a UTI scare, but she's fine. Fuzzy and fine, eee. Though she is on a special diet for the time being, and it is a little more money than I want to be paying. I will survive. And so will she! Which is, let's face it, the much more important part.

After a week of sub-zero weather, now it's 40 and raining and everything is covered in water. It's horrid. But yay for less ice!

Umm. Oh! I got a neat thing for Christmas. It's a lamp that slowly turns on to help you wake up better. I LOVE IT. And it does seem to be helping. I still drag all morning, but that's just because I'm not a morning person. MORNINGS. UGH.

Also I got a ukulele because ??? I haven't quite got the hang of playing it yet, but I can tune it like a pro. I guess youtube can probably give me a few pointers.


FFXIV FFXIV FFXIV

I want to take all my free company members and put them in a box so I can carry them around with me all the time. They are wonderful and I ♥ them. Actually, my brother and I tricked half of them into joining us in XI, as well, ohoho. Also, I am spending, like, triple the amount of time actually SPEAKING to people, because we have a voice chat channel. And there was only one creeper and we kicked him because, uh, he was a creeper and no one liked him. (That is just one of the many ways my FC is awesome. 'Hey, that guy's being a creep! GET RID OF HIM.')



STILL FIGHTING WITH HEALTH INSURANCE OVER THEM ACTUALLY PAYING FOR MY DAMN PRESCRIPTIONS. Have tried putting the reins in the hands of my doctor. Maybe they will make more progress? I am not optimistic. Why are these things so expensive, anyway? Stupid. Also I'm sick of these bats. THIS IS THE GRUMPY PARAGRAPH.



ALSO! BotCon was finally officially announced, and it was exactly where and when everyone already knew it was going to be, ie PASADENA A-FREAKING-GAIN. If it weren't the 30^th anniversary, I would be sitting this one out. Shit's not cheap, man! And California is so far away, ugh. But! More exciting! TFCon will be holding a convention is October in Chicago, at - haha - at the convention center right across from the hotel I stayed in when I went there last December for the Distant Worlds concert. The trip where I left my camera at a friend's house and have never seen since (sorrow. sorrow forever). Super, super excited about that, and definitely not going to miss it. eeee.

I realised something last night while trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. (I have the ick. Comfortable positions are in short supply when one cannot breathe properly.)

SO THAT VIDEO GAME OF MINE

The three city-states that we can visit - Ul'dah, Gridania, and Limsa Lominsa - are all ruled by a woman. I obviously can't speak for Sharlayan, Ishgard (okay, I think this one's a guy, actually), or Ala Mhigo (and I can make a guess on this one, seeing as it's under Imperial rule, and the Emperor is a man, but who knows how it used to be), but I can add that 2/6 of the characters I've met from Sharlayan are female. And the leader of the Special Secret Group is also a woman! Holy cow, that is a lot of awesome ladies!

(Admittedly, in Ul'dah's case, you barely interact with her, most often dealing with Rugbeard [not really his name]. But it still stands.)


... meanwhile, the villains are almost entirely dudes. I - I assume, anyway. Hard to say for absolute certainty, what with the full body armor some of them wear. ... okay they all wear full body armor but some of them wear more intense armor. And some of them take their helmets off on occasion. ANYWAY. They sound like dudes. Other people use male pronouns for them. I'm pretty sure Nael was a dude. The other guy whose name perpetually escapes me is probably a dude. ANNOYINGLY, the one that is a girl has freaking lips molded into her face plate. Seriously? Why.

And the diurnal miqo'te - the Seekers of the Sun - are, uh, prides, basically, with the big ruling guy and then all the gals, plus a few other guys who want to overthrow the big ruling dude. Stuff about that, and the completely opposite Keepers of the Moon. (WE HAVE A LORE FORUM. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT? WE HAVE A LORE FORUM. so awesome)


Anyway, I just think that's pretty cool.

IT'S HERE





OR IT'S BACK






OR. SOME COMBINATION OF THE TWO I GUESS

Do you want to know what I did with myself this weekend? IT IS PRETTY SAD.


FRIDAY: 6:30pm I LOG IN to play more phase 3 beta. I do not log back out until 1am SATURDAY MORNING. And then I stayed up even later to group chat with my linkshell mates. Because fuck schedules and tiredness.

Saturday, I sleep in until 9 (that is a whole 3 hours! But then consider I went to bed 3 almost hours late...), and after I finally haul my lazy bones out of bed, I decide, okay yeah I guess I should attend to a few things today... post office, pharmacy, few other things... aaand then I came home and LOGGED BACK IN. And remained so until, AGAIN, 1 IN THE MORNING. (Actually, I suffered a bout of exhaustion and took a three hour nap in the late afternoon. But whatever.)

It is like a disease I just cannot stop this is worse than last week oh my god AND I DO NOT EVEN CARE BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT MAGIC OCCURRED BETWEEN THIS WEEKEND AND LAST?



FUCKING CHARACTER IMPORTING.



OMG


RANA


MY BABY




....SWEETHEART, I THINK THEY FUDGED UP YOUR HAIR COLOUR, BUT IT'S OKAY WE CAN FIX IT IN PHASE 4/OPEN BETA. WHEN THEY ACTUALLY START ALLOWING ALTERATIONS AND ARE SAVING THINGS.


i missed yoooouuuu never leave me again :(



But seriously thank god I'm going to be in San Diego next weekend, because I don't really fancy a repeat of this. (Of course, next weekend won't be my first time putting Rana back in the field since bloody October - exempting the actual apocalypse event - so it probably wouldn't be as bad, regardless.)