OKAY FINE WINTER I ADMIT IT YOU WIN


THREE REALLY LOUD BOOOOOS FOR SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER


ffff time to talk to my doctor about raising my drug dose


hatred hatred seething seething hatred of dysfunctional brain




Something, something, uh, oh! Yes. Finally got around to seeing the new Hobbit... found it to be, um, underwhelming. Sadly unimpressed. Really feel these films would've worked better as a duology. ....Hm. That's three films in a theater the past month, though, wow. Probably a new record for me. (In order of both viewing and best to worst: Frozen, Catching Fire, and The Hobbit.) Currently watching new Sherlock, Mary is wonderful and must stay that way forever please. PLEASE.


... This (white) shirt I'm wearing has a massive pink stain on the left sleeve. I've no idea from what. I'm blaming the bakery. It could possibly maybe be icing dye. Nothing else really makes sense, anyway.

blah

blah b lah bl a h



words




zzz
jecca_mehlota: (THIS IS PRODUCTIVE)
( Jan. 11th, 2014 02:41 pm)
Hello! How'd your holidays go? Are you surviving the bizarre weather? Are you enjoying the new year so far? Did your laptop power cable try to kill you this morning?

SMOKE. SMOKE AND BURNING AND OH GOD.

Aside, from that, though. My cat had a UTI scare, but she's fine. Fuzzy and fine, eee. Though she is on a special diet for the time being, and it is a little more money than I want to be paying. I will survive. And so will she! Which is, let's face it, the much more important part.

After a week of sub-zero weather, now it's 40 and raining and everything is covered in water. It's horrid. But yay for less ice!

Umm. Oh! I got a neat thing for Christmas. It's a lamp that slowly turns on to help you wake up better. I LOVE IT. And it does seem to be helping. I still drag all morning, but that's just because I'm not a morning person. MORNINGS. UGH.

Also I got a ukulele because ??? I haven't quite got the hang of playing it yet, but I can tune it like a pro. I guess youtube can probably give me a few pointers.


FFXIV FFXIV FFXIV

I want to take all my free company members and put them in a box so I can carry them around with me all the time. They are wonderful and I ♥ them. Actually, my brother and I tricked half of them into joining us in XI, as well, ohoho. Also, I am spending, like, triple the amount of time actually SPEAKING to people, because we have a voice chat channel. And there was only one creeper and we kicked him because, uh, he was a creeper and no one liked him. (That is just one of the many ways my FC is awesome. 'Hey, that guy's being a creep! GET RID OF HIM.')



STILL FIGHTING WITH HEALTH INSURANCE OVER THEM ACTUALLY PAYING FOR MY DAMN PRESCRIPTIONS. Have tried putting the reins in the hands of my doctor. Maybe they will make more progress? I am not optimistic. Why are these things so expensive, anyway? Stupid. Also I'm sick of these bats. THIS IS THE GRUMPY PARAGRAPH.



ALSO! BotCon was finally officially announced, and it was exactly where and when everyone already knew it was going to be, ie PASADENA A-FREAKING-GAIN. If it weren't the 30th anniversary, I would be sitting this one out. Shit's not cheap, man! And California is so far away, ugh. But! More exciting! TFCon will be holding a convention is October in Chicago, at - haha - at the convention center right across from the hotel I stayed in when I went there last December for the Distant Worlds concert. The trip where I left my camera at a friend's house and have never seen since (sorrow. sorrow forever). Super, super excited about that, and definitely not going to miss it. eeee.
jecca_mehlota: (Default)
( Nov. 29th, 2012 07:44 pm)
Oookay. Let's see how long I make it this time! I've gone through the worst of the weirdness (we're now in the overcompensation mode where I am aggressively cheerful but also exceptionally exhausted because faking having energy is dead tiring) so hopefully soon I'll start seeing some real, positive results. Also, I've started taking vitamin D, which is supposed to help? Cautious optimism.


(FFXIV alpha trials are underway here in North America! I am not invited, alas. Maybe next phase!)


Next week! At this time! I will be in CHICAGO. So excited. The "25th Anniverary of Final Fantasy" Distant Worlds concert is on Friday, and I am absolutely going to be there. X3 My trips to and from are a bit convoluted, but they are cheap, so that is okay. I know someone who lives relatively close to the airport there in NYC and she is letting me crash on her couch on Wednesday and Saturday night. yay! I should bring or obtain a gift to express my gratitude. Saving money is awesome. Holidays are coming up, after all, gotta be able to buy... anything.


Actually, I am hoping to make a little extra by selling off more of my Transformers collection (as well as a few Final Fantasy figures). A fair bit of movie and BotCon stuff, as well as other random offerings. More-reasonable-than-eBay prices! Watch this space, if you've any interest.


Also hey speaking of holidays, who wants a card? Please leave a comment here (screened) or PM it to me or something? :3 I do not have energy or inclination to do much in the way of making them myself this year, but I still like to send them out. I have a bunch of pretty designs and nifty stamps.
I guess I should post something of substance, it has been like a month, whoops. Between fatigue from either being ill or having autumn allergies, subject line-related family drama issues, and another dose of my brain's own patented abject misery, I have kind of fallen behind everywhere. Man, people with way more problems and things to do keep on top of this crap, what is my excuse? I am thinking of actually properly attempting NaNoWriMo again this year (instead of just using it to force myself to actually write anything like I've done for the last year or two), maybe that is my excuse. It is an obvious indicator of madnes, after all.

Talkin' 'bout my stupid brain issues briefly )

Aaaanyway, that all aside, here are some nicer things!

My mom bought her cat some pet mice. They are super adorable, and have made me think maybe I want a pet mouse / mice again. Except wow, haha, I had forgotten how smelly they can get, haha. I helped her clean their cage a bit ago when I was out there (we were doing our yearly trip to New Hampshire the next day), and, whew. Stinky mice! But they are still cute. And, since the cat has become one of the laziest things in the world (at least in regards to hunting small creatures) in her middle age, they are in absolutely no danger from her. The first night, she did press her paw up against the wires (yeah, it's not even a glass cage) a bit, and try to scratch at the bottom to "get in", but I think it was just because she wanted a better look at them. She likes to sit and stare and watch them. She sits and watches for hours. Here are a few pictures (the black mouse is Trill, and the gray one is Flit): Diana notices the new things!, watching, sniffing, waiting for them to emerge... And here is Flit on my right shoulder from the cage-cleaning adventure (shortly after, she ducked down into the hood and wasn't seen again until we fished her out to put back in the cage. She is very shy), and here is Trill playing peek-a-boo on my left shoulder. She was content to run around all over the bathtub for a while, but then she seemed kind of anxious, so I showed her where Flit was, and she calmed down again.

NH was a lot of fun, as usual. We saw cool things, did cool things, and hit up a couple pawn shops and bought neat things (well, thing, in my case. I snagged The Iron Giant on DVD for a buck, awesome! My collection expands. In the last month, I've managed to get a bunch of awesome movies on DVD for cheap from yard sales and the like). And also we ate tasty food, which is fun.

And at work, I'm finally being officially trained as a cake decorator. I already know most all of it (I had a few under the table lessons from a former coworker), but now it will be official, so they can actually schedule me as one. Here is (most of) a cupcake and cake platter I decorated! NO ONE BOUGHT IT, what the helllll. I was gonna buy it myself and stick it in the break room (I could not bear the thought of it being thrown out, because IT IS AWESOME), but when I asked the manager on duty if I just needed a paid sticker or what, he said, hey, I'll just shrink it out, so I didn't have to spend money, yay.

And here are a few more designs I've made up (hee, my coworkers have started copying them) for the jumbo cupcakes we sell: one, two, three yes shut up that's a sugar cookie. I didn't have a lot of time, but I wanted to show one of my coworkers how to do it, so I had to make a small one on top of that (it's a cat. Its face is Not Quite Right, I know. The other ones have looked better, I swear). The pumpkins are my favourite thing to make, though the spiders are also kinda fun, and they sell well.


And - HEY, DID YOU STOP READING? COME BACK. Or, well, Transformers / Optimus Prime / Bay-verse aesthetic fans, come back, anyway. I HAVE SOMETHING? FOR YOOOOU.

It's one of those cardboard standee-things. Of our dear face-stealing Prime! There are two catches - the first is that he is/was intended to be part of a product (toys?) display, so it is not a perfect Prime standee. The second is that, though I am more than willing to give him away, I am not up for paying shipping. So you'll need to cover that. If anyone is interested, I will find a box he fits in and get a price estimate (probably parcel post, as it is usually cheaper, since he is not going to fit in only one flat-rate box. I could maybe fit him into two of the $10-ish range ones, though? Or, you know, whatever you wanna pay, I don't care. If you want priority mail, well, I won't stop you. This second catch is why I am offering him here, by the way, since the person I offered him to first did not want to pay for his transportation). I haven't assembled him, but I did take the bits out and unfold them, if you want to see what it'd look like (and, hey, if you want to adjust it so he's straddling something, or standing behind something so you can't see the spot where the BUY OUR STUFF things should be, that'd probably work fine)... one!, two! (he is a bit tall! I guess that should be less surprising), DotM logo*, and a grainy image of what the fully assembled thing should look like, from the instructions (yes, it has instructions).

So, yeah, let me know if you have any interest, there.



*Keyboard not included. Do you like how I have had to write the note names on the keys? I was taught in solfège when I was little and have had a heck of a time learning otherwise ever since. I can translate it in my head for singing, but I still cannot get around it for instruments. Guitar lessons were hilarious.
Had a low day.

And yet, it was strangely devoid of me thinking everyone I've ever been within fifty meters of hates me and thinks I'm an idiot and only tolerates my presence so they can laugh at me as soon as I'm out of earshot.


what is this even



(I also spent, what, four whole days being social without once having to go off into a corner and collapse into a black hole of anxiety and self-loathing and exhaustion or turn into an angry, snarling beast. I guess I should be assuming that, even if the pills, themselves, are not directly working, I am experiencing a pretty decent placebo effect.)



To make this entry halfway interesting, Thursday afternoon, right as I had to leave to start walking to work, the clouds suddenly opened up and started pouring. The rain came down so hard and so fast that, within seconds, there was quite literally a solid inch of water raging along all of the streets and sidewalks. KIND OF TERRIFYING. Ten minutes later, there was one final clap of thunder aaand... nothing. Not to be horridly cliché, but it was exactly as if someone had suddenly turned the faucet back to "off"...

And then my shoes were wet and squeaky all afternoon! At least I didn't have to run around in the freezer.
The radio keeps blipping out because of all the storms we're having. It's kind of irritating and the here-gone of it is making me pay it more attention than usual. Background noise, you are supposed to only be background noise. You know, that stuff that keeps my brain just occupied enough for me to focus on things I want to focus on, ie, other things, ie, NOT YOU? Maybe it'll settle by the time I get to bed. For now? WINAMP.


I'm having a very, very hard time interpreting my own emotional state these days. It's very disconcerting and I don't like it a bit. I don't - I don't feel bad, or anything, I just - I do not know how I feel. Is this just an absence of angst? (If so, how sad that I don't know how to recognise such a thing.) Maybe I am not feeling at all. I don't know. I'm so confused. I feel like I need instructions, or a cheat sheet or something, which is ridiculous, because I shouldn't need a goddamn roadmap for my own brain.

(Possibly it is almost as disconcerting as the ending of tonight's episode of Doctor Who! Possibly. Maybe.)


I've been secretly learning how to decorate cakes. My manager is not aware of this. Nobody tell her! I've done a little bit of base-icing (not - not very good base-icing, erm), and I can make borders, and squiggles, and balloons, and rosebuds! And some other stuff, but nothing fancy, really. And the other night, I watched how to make a rose, but I did not actually make one, myself. But! hee! Tonight, while I was closing by myself, a guy came up, and he wanted to know if I could add a rose to a cake he wanted to buy, and he was nice about it, and I was actually running ahead of schedule (for once), so I said, um, if you really want, I can try! I have never actually made one before, but I have seen how it is done! And he was like, sure.

AND THEN I DID IT. SUCCESSSSS. And then I made another one, 'cause I could. I am so pleased. I mean, they were not, like, the best roses in the world, or anything, but they were roses and they were made by me, and I am kind of irrationally pleased with myself.


Man, this time next week, I'm going to be in Pasadena OD'ing on robots. Time flies. (In four weeks, I am going to be in CHICAGO. omg. So excited. Bummed that I'm going alone, too, but the excitement outweighs it by quite a lot.)


... Also I killed a huge spider with a DVD case the other night (I suspect the rain chased it - and the others I've encountered, though those weren't in my room - inside. TOO BAD. GET OUT), but I didn't smear it, just squashed it, and now I'm being too squeamish to pick up its nasty spider corpse, so the poor thing's body is just lying on the floor across my room waiting for me to, I don't know, fetch a vacuum or something and deal with it, already.

Actually, I bet the spider-grabber works just fine on spider corpses. Hmm.


Maybe I will go to bed early tonight. I'm tired. The heat and the rain conspire against me. (I had bizarre dreams last night. My normal dreams are usually pretty mundane, but the rare fandom-related ones I have are always really damned strange.)
Not sure SE was entirely aware of what they were naming some of these attacks...


ANYWAY. D-did I just land myself a spot in an Expansion Pack Missions static?


eeeeheeeheeeheee! I HAVE NO PROPERLY GIDDY ICON! I need to steal Rana's or something, I like that one. ...But I am going to overload myself with FFXIV icons if I keep this up, so maybe I hadn't better... What was I talking about? OH, YES. NEW LINKSHELL, YOU ARE THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU ♥ ♥

(If I don't watch it, I'll probably start adopting some of the emotes in real life. I was already doing the arm lift/curl thing, but it's still a bit weird now every time I catch myself doing it. FFXIV, I don't even play you that often, leave me alone. ... ha, though, hilariously, the weather in-game is doing a spectacular job of imitating the weather here. RAIN. Rain and rain and rain and the rain rain rain came down down down and I'd actually noticed it before reading the news announcement about it, apparently it's going to be a part of some sort of story line? Interesting! I did kind of like the reassurance that it wasn't just RAIN EVERYWHERE following me even into the computerland.)



THREE DOCTOR'S MEETINGS TOMORROW. Two of them before noon. I am a lunatic. (Well, when you know you're gonna have the day off from work, anyway...)



Man, I think I mark remixes differently in the music field every single time. I can't figure out if it annoys of amuses me. I suppose it could be both.
There was a guy sitting on the street holding a piece of cardboard with the above written on it.

...I always think of things to tack onto these entries for above and below the cut while I am at / walking to/from work, and then I always forget them all as soon as I get the door open. Ridiculous.

30 Days of Video Games

Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving )

Tomorrow is the last day!

Also, pills make me feel tired. ugh. Naptime? Oh! BUT! I have officially dry swallowed a pill now! It only took me 25 years! Maybe this means someday I will stop gagging on Advil?

(Server merges soon! I will get to meet the other half of my linkshell in-game! Excitinggg.)


Hey, look! You can stalk my progress in FFXIV! Blog will obviously have nothing, but Character Profile and History both have stuff. (And, let me tell you, I was not happy to see that getting from level 10 to level 11 would take TWENTY THOUSAND EXPERIENCE POINTS. SE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.)
Foggy head + bizarre eating issues + slightly over-dilated pupils. Ugh. It's the pupils that bother me most, actually. I can function with the foggy head, and as long as I don't actually think about food the nausea stays at a fairly innocuous level (admittedly, this makes eating it a bit challenging, but it could be a lot worse) (hahaha I posted this entry before remembering to finish this sentence, oh, god), but I feel a bit self-conscious walking around with my pupils too large like this. If anyone asks, I'm blaming my allergy meds (you know, the ones I stopped needing to take a few days ago). And I'm tired. And this is all normal. Ugh! Fuck you, Brain! If you could just function normally then we wouldn't have to be here!

30 Days of Video Games

Day 25 - A game you plan on playing )

Seriously, I feel gross. I really hope I fall closer to the "4 days" end for things clearing up than the "2 weeks" side... And maybe I'll go to bed early again tonight.
I do not feel right in the brain-area. Uuuugh. Also, I woke up, sat up, got out of bed without the aid of an alarm clock at 9:30 this morning, which, wow. Been a few weeks since I got up – never even mind out of bed – before 11 without outside assistance. But now I feel all gross and sleep-deprived (I had to get up early yesterday but did not get to bed until later than usual, so I only got about 4 hours). (It had barely been 10 hours post-pill at that point, and I woke up with the brain-fog. Is that too fast for side effects to kick in? I am sure at least part of it is psychosomatic, and my roommate was home all morning when she is usually not, so maybe there was a sound that woke me up.)

BUT, we finally have got the kitchen put into something resembling order! Holy shit, you guys, there was a floor under there this whole time! Who knew?

30 Days of Video Games

Day 24 - Favourite classic game )

Things Jecca occasionally spends way too much time wondering about: suddenly, surprise body swap! Aaaand, say you're right-handed. And say you're zapped into the body of someone who is left-handed. Would you still predominately use your right hand? Or would you automatically use the left, since that's the one the body uses. Oooor would you sit there switching your hands back and forth trying to decide which one to use and only be able to write anything when you weren't actually thinking about it. (It would probably depend on the nature of the body swap, too.)


I want the full official soundtrack for XIV to come out already! >:|

... not that I can afford it at the moment, anyway, but argh. Having to listen to 'em over YouTube when the urge strikes (or when one's stuck in your head but your brain is confused and keeps diverting the theme of Limsa Lominsa to the Metalworks theme from Bastok from XI...) is a bit annoying.
.