Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-05-28 11:24 pm
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-05-28 11:24 pm
Entry tags:
...and then I never updated.
The radio keeps blipping out because of all the storms we're having. It's kind of irritating and the here-gone of it is making me pay it more attention than usual. Background noise, you are supposed to only be background noise. You know, that stuff that keeps my brain just occupied enough for me to focus on things I want to focus on, ie, other things, ie, NOT YOU? Maybe it'll settle by the time I get to bed. For now? WINAMP.
I'm having a very, very hard time interpreting my own emotional state these days. It's very disconcerting and I don't like it a bit. I don't - I don't feel bad, or anything, I just - I do not know how I feel. Is this just an absence of angst? (If so, how sad that I don't know how to recognise such a thing.) Maybe I am not feeling at all. I don't know. I'm so confused. I feel like I need instructions, or a cheat sheet or something, which is ridiculous, because I shouldn't need a goddamn roadmap for my own brain.
(Possibly it is almost as disconcerting as the ending of tonight's episode of Doctor Who! Possibly. Maybe.)
I've been secretly learning how to decorate cakes. My manager is not aware of this. Nobody tell her! I've done a little bit of base-icing (not - not very good base-icing, erm), and I can make borders, and squiggles, and balloons, and rosebuds! And some other stuff, but nothing fancy, really. And the other night, I watched how to make a rose, but I did not actually make one, myself. But! hee! Tonight, while I was closing by myself, a guy came up, and he wanted to know if I could add a rose to a cake he wanted to buy, and he was nice about it, and I was actually running ahead of schedule (for once), so I said, um, if you really want, I can try! I have never actually made one before, but I have seen how it is done! And he was like, sure.
AND THEN I DID IT. SUCCESSSSS. And then I made another one, 'cause I could. I am so pleased. I mean, they were not, like, the best roses in the world, or anything, but they were roses and they were made by me, and I am kind of irrationally pleased with myself.
Man, this time next week, I'm going to be in Pasadena OD'ing on robots. Time flies. (In four weeks, I am going to be in CHICAGO. omg. So excited. Bummed that I'm going alone, too, but the excitement outweighs it by quite a lot.)
... Also I killed a huge spider with a DVD case the other night (I suspect the rain chased it - and the others I've encountered, though those weren't in my room - inside. TOO BAD. GET OUT), but I didn't smear it, just squashed it, and now I'm being too squeamish to pick up its nasty spider corpse, so the poor thing's body is just lying on the floor across my room waiting for me to, I don't know, fetch a vacuum or something and deal with it, already.
Actually, I bet the spider-grabber works just fine on spider corpses. Hmm.
Maybe I will go to bed early tonight. I'm tired. The heat and the rain conspire against me. (I had bizarre dreams last night. My normal dreams are usually pretty mundane, but the rare fandom-related ones I have are always really damned strange.)
I'm having a very, very hard time interpreting my own emotional state these days. It's very disconcerting and I don't like it a bit. I don't - I don't feel bad, or anything, I just - I do not know how I feel. Is this just an absence of angst? (If so, how sad that I don't know how to recognise such a thing.) Maybe I am not feeling at all. I don't know. I'm so confused. I feel like I need instructions, or a cheat sheet or something, which is ridiculous, because I shouldn't need a goddamn roadmap for my own brain.
(Possibly it is almost as disconcerting as the ending of tonight's episode of Doctor Who! Possibly. Maybe.)
I've been secretly learning how to decorate cakes. My manager is not aware of this. Nobody tell her! I've done a little bit of base-icing (not - not very good base-icing, erm), and I can make borders, and squiggles, and balloons, and rosebuds! And some other stuff, but nothing fancy, really. And the other night, I watched how to make a rose, but I did not actually make one, myself. But! hee! Tonight, while I was closing by myself, a guy came up, and he wanted to know if I could add a rose to a cake he wanted to buy, and he was nice about it, and I was actually running ahead of schedule (for once), so I said, um, if you really want, I can try! I have never actually made one before, but I have seen how it is done! And he was like, sure.
AND THEN I DID IT. SUCCESSSSS. And then I made another one, 'cause I could. I am so pleased. I mean, they were not, like, the best roses in the world, or anything, but they were roses and they were made by me, and I am kind of irrationally pleased with myself.
Man, this time next week, I'm going to be in Pasadena OD'ing on robots. Time flies. (In four weeks, I am going to be in CHICAGO. omg. So excited. Bummed that I'm going alone, too, but the excitement outweighs it by quite a lot.)
... Also I killed a huge spider with a DVD case the other night (I suspect the rain chased it - and the others I've encountered, though those weren't in my room - inside. TOO BAD. GET OUT), but I didn't smear it, just squashed it, and now I'm being too squeamish to pick up its nasty spider corpse, so the poor thing's body is just lying on the floor across my room waiting for me to, I don't know, fetch a vacuum or something and deal with it, already.
Actually, I bet the spider-grabber works just fine on spider corpses. Hmm.
Maybe I will go to bed early tonight. I'm tired. The heat and the rain conspire against me. (I had bizarre dreams last night. My normal dreams are usually pretty mundane, but the rare fandom-related ones I have are always really damned strange.)