Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-06-12 12:57 am
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-06-12 12:57 am
Brain still confusing.
Had a low day.
And yet, it was strangely devoid of me thinking everyone I've ever been within fifty meters of hates me and thinks I'm an idiot and only tolerates my presence so they can laugh at me as soon as I'm out of earshot.
what is this even
(I also spent, what, four whole days being social without once having to go off into a corner and collapse into a black hole of anxiety and self-loathing and exhaustion or turn into an angry, snarling beast. I guess I should be assuming that, even if the pills, themselves, are not directly working, I am experiencing a pretty decent placebo effect.)
To make this entry halfway interesting, Thursday afternoon, right as I had to leave to start walking to work, the clouds suddenly opened up and started pouring. The rain came down so hard and so fast that, within seconds, there was quite literally a solid inch of water raging along all of the streets and sidewalks. KIND OF TERRIFYING. Ten minutes later, there was one final clap of thunder aaand... nothing. Not to be horridly cliché, but it was exactly as if someone had suddenly turned the faucet back to "off"...
And then my shoes were wet and squeaky all afternoon! At least I didn't have to run around in the freezer.
And yet, it was strangely devoid of me thinking everyone I've ever been within fifty meters of hates me and thinks I'm an idiot and only tolerates my presence so they can laugh at me as soon as I'm out of earshot.
what is this even
(I also spent, what, four whole days being social without once having to go off into a corner and collapse into a black hole of anxiety and self-loathing and exhaustion or turn into an angry, snarling beast. I guess I should be assuming that, even if the pills, themselves, are not directly working, I am experiencing a pretty decent placebo effect.)
To make this entry halfway interesting, Thursday afternoon, right as I had to leave to start walking to work, the clouds suddenly opened up and started pouring. The rain came down so hard and so fast that, within seconds, there was quite literally a solid inch of water raging along all of the streets and sidewalks. KIND OF TERRIFYING. Ten minutes later, there was one final clap of thunder aaand... nothing. Not to be horridly cliché, but it was exactly as if someone had suddenly turned the faucet back to "off"...
And then my shoes were wet and squeaky all afternoon! At least I didn't have to run around in the freezer.