Currents of Time

This only happens with the handheld systems! Oh, dear. I completely lose track of time when I play games on my PSP or DS (though, so far, the DS has been far, far worse than the PSP). I'm never going to get bedtime back on schedule at this rate. XD

But! Tomorrow (er, um, today) is Friday, so I am full of conflicting emotionssss. YOU SEE. The Lion King is back in theaters as of today for a limited run! And omg I loved that movie so, so much as a kid (okay i still love it) and I am so excited to go see it in theaters again and eeeee! IT WILL BE AMAZING.

But also tomorrow is the last day for Borders, so I guess I am going to go skulk around the shop and made sad faces all over the place. Nooo, Borders! Don't leave me, nooooo... :(


On an unrelated note, apparently they are remaking/redoing/updating/whatever FFX in HD? The comments are full of people screaming about the injustice of it not being FFVII, which is kind of hilarious.


Also, my original characters are being pains again (well, what else is new). The FFXI/V team, or the two major players, anyway, are currently engaged in what appears to be some kind of ridiculous poetry contest, which is at least entertaining (though still confusing, and also how long is this going to keep up?), and I apparently should never have started naming Pokémon after any of the head crew because it is doing strange things to my brain (especially in regards to Jade and Okame. They always were the problem children, though...)

(Did I ever mention I am mostly sure I've come up with an acceptable new first name for Okame? 'Cause I - and by I, I mean, my mom - totally did. /things no one cares about)

If anyone has ever wondered (or, eh, noticed at all), most of my entries occur at strange hours of the night/early morning because the ones I write in the middle of the day are, my brain decides, stupid, and so I close the window without posting.



Anyway, so, it kinda seems like a bunch of people in my life (on and off LJ) are kinda in a... not excellent place? I dunno. Troubles. And I feel useless because these things always come in groups (what is up with that) and so I am also not necessarily in the best spot (mentally or financially, though I am coming out of the mental funk a bit, and at least physically I am mostly fine for now). BUT, if there is anything anyone thinks would help or cheer them up or whatever, and that I could do, I will totally try my best! (Things I have done in the past include sending letters, homemade cookies, and/or music, [attempting - not always succeeding at] short stories, and drawing random little doodle-things.)



Other stuff... BotCon schedule went up. (I'm in the 8 PM pick up, which, well... could be worse, but still, ugh, that line.) No MSTF - or anything - Friday night. I am sad. But! That means buying an After 4 pass for Disney was totally the right move. Yay! SO EXCITED. Kinda bummed that no one I know seems to be going, but I, uh. Maybe I will meet new people? That is hard and scary. Maybe I will hide in the corner. (Also the guest list makes me happy.)

...Also, ffff, I have totally destroyed my "not having original characters / that are me" trend. I think I mentioned this before, but now I finally have come up with a name, so I guess it's official. (Kinda surprised that there doesn't seem to already be a canon character with the name, but not complaining.) So weeeird. Not that much will be done with it (aside from occasional in-character chatting with mysticeden/'s character, who is the cause of all this, anyway, and probably letter-writing), but, you know, there it is. I OWN IT. I don't quite want to call it a self-insert, but it is kind of close. Bleh. Like I needed moar headcast.


My body (especially my spine) is really beginning to feel the affect of sleeping in the wrong bed... I'm using my mother's bed, since the guest room's a mess and since the dog gets all bent outta shape (he wants to sleep in a room with a person in it, but he wants to sleep in mom's room - or my old bedroom, which doesn't have a bed in it and so isn't an option at the moment). Her pillow is too thin and the mattress is too... something. Ugh. Achy. Also sleeping is a bit difficult when there's an emphysemic-(or maybe Darth Vader)-sounding dog who keeps choking on his own throat (and making the most alarming sounds) directly under your mattress. Also, my ankle is acting up, but, well. Business as usual, that. And the brace is helping. I think it's just the driving around I've been having to do that's aggravating it.

I never remembered to mention this, which is a shame, because it is funny. To me. I can't find it online so if anyone's interested, I'll try to take pictures of my copy later. ANYWAY. Last month's issue (wait, it says March on the back. What?) of GameInformer contained a flowchart that helped you determine whether or not you would die in a zombie apocalypse. IT IS THE BEST THING EVER and I think I am going to end up pulling the pages out and taping them together on the wall or something. I don't care about Duke Nukem, so not a big deal if I remove half of that article, and "Top 10 FPS Multiplayer Maps" isn't really anything I'll be bothered about missing, either. Hmm....

BUT YEAH. ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE FLOWCHART. AWESOME.

(I was reminded of this when, uh, April's issue arrived the other day. It contains a long article on Portal 2 that I didn't really read much of because, you know, spoilers. Apparently they've tweaked the ending of the original now. Not by much, though.)


Apparently there's a scifibigbang. (This is probably common knowledge but I wasn't aware, okay? I only ever see people talking about other Big Bang things) The stupid part of me is considering, if not signing up (NEVAH SIGNING UP! FOR ANYTHING run away! And also because then I'd have to post it. And then people might, you know, read it. And ... other scary things, besides), at least setting the dates in my head and trying to use that as a goal for Aniko's fic. Because, self. Wouldn't it be nice to make actual progress and finish the thing? SERIOUSLY, YOU STARTED PLOTTING FOR IT BACK IN MAY OF 2008 and have almost nothing to show for it (aside from three concepts in the scrap heap and ten million scenes you decided you didn't like and had to rewrite. And -10k sanity points, possibly). This is getting embarrassing.



THIS PARAGRAPH MOVED FROM A NOW-LOCKED ENTRY since it had nothing to do with why the entry was locked: Completely unrelated thing that amuses me: people naming their original characters the same thing as a well-known character! I mean, Transformers has, what, a million different characters? And some of them are pretty obscure (even if a search through the wiki will bring them up)! But one of the slightly more mainstream characters? That just amuses me. (In their defense, his [relatively] recent new name doesn't appear in the character menu because we all just use his original name. Still. It makes me giggle. XD)



...IN OTHER NEWS I STARTED WRITING ANOTHER OKAME-VERSE STORY hahahahargtrhnlgghkmfr

I was thinking about writing and characters and fanfiction versus original fiction and all that sort of stuff this evening while waiting for the dishes to dry so I could cook dinner! And. I was going to go into some wordy back story here, but really it was only ever one person, wasn't it? I don't know. I know other people's original characters/universes are generally not that exciting! TOO BAD I'M TALKING ABOUT IT ANYWAY. Anyway. One or two people have, on occasion, asked something about Okame-verse (which still needs a better name) and the timeline and overall storyline and I... generally don't have an answer for it! And I (finally?) put the why behind that into words. A lot of the time when you've got characters that you write about, you write, you know, a story. And, the thing is, with those two, there isn't really one. There's no big, overreaching ... thing. I mean, when I write about them, it's just an incident in their lives. That's all.

I do have a universe or two with, you know, actual plots (I've pretty much never posted about them, though), but this isn't one of them.

And sometimes I feel kind of bad, or weird about that? I dunno. Like, how does Okame freaking out this time relate to wherever you're eventually going with this? And I'm not eventually going anywhere with any of it. I mean, yeah, sure, depending on when in their lives I write them, they act different, or stuff has changed, but they're (probably) never going to do anything special or, uh. Interesting, even, haha. I just like them. Even if they won't ever solve the world crisis of doom or save the whales or anything.

I was going to make an allcaps-y sentence about how they're both weird and dysfunctional and totally not girlfriends shut up Jade will kill you, but I feel like I've been seeing a lot of internet drama lately and don't want anyone to jump on me for accusing [x] group of people of being completely mad. Or socially inept. Or dysfunctional. Or ... whatever. So, uh, I guess I won't.


Good sign you've been spending too much time pounding away at a word doc (EVEN IF YOU AREN'T GETTING ANYWHERE ARGH RAGE): you keep reflexively hitting ctrl-s every paragraph or so. I've attempted to save the update page five or six times now. Good job, self!

( And now boring real life whining )

For your daily dose of is she really still talking about that?, San d'Oria took Sarutabaruta in conquest this week, which is pretty awesome! We've claimed Gustaberg quite a few times, but we've only rarely taken Saru[tab] and, to my unending frustration, those times have always been during weeks I haven't logged on for whatever reason. (Oh, yes, this is FFXI-talk now, if you didn't know what any of this was about.) BUT THIS WEEK - haha! So now I've run supplies to the outpost by Windurst and so now I have finally done the supplies quest for every outpost (on Hisime, and that I have access to, anyway. No Sky yet, but that's the only one, now). I took Aya and Ki out, too, since, you know, Windurst? FAR AWAY. And Ki can't airship it, so, uh, yeah. Long trip for her no matter how you go about it. (EXCEPT NOT ANYMORE i love op warp)

Also, it's been over a year and a half since my brother started trying for the m.kris and all it's got him so far is a couple hundred thousand gil down the drain. He's considering giving up and, since that would mean he can't go anywhere (or going to gt a Joyeuse, which he doesn't have time for), quitting. So right now he's trying to come up with a way to make 3.5 million, because the thought of fishing for more marlin (only for, again, absolutely none of them to give a chart, and even if they did, for the fight to them only give us another fuscina or piece of oxblood and a dwarf pugil) is too unbearable. Dear SE: it would not kill you to be just a little nicer to your playerbase on occasion!


To end on a random note, here's an amusing article on why the US Life on Mars was STUPID. Or at least not as good as the original. Reading that has had the perhaps unfortunate side effect of making me want to rewatch the original again.

Title: In The Blood
Author: Jecca Meitahn / twilit_wanderer
Wordcount: 1,400
Rating: T-ish, I guess...? I never know how to rate these things!
Warnings: Potentially disturbing, distinct lack of sanity
Summary: The time between Hotaru’s first and second meeting with Jade.
Disclaimer: Jade (who spends the entire duration unconscious and is never actually named here) is mine. Hotaru Okame is not, but I was given free use of her by her creator.
Notes: This was going to be longer, but it decided it wanted to be in two parts, so I decided to finish this up, code it, and post it. Looked over by aerinity (thank you again!).

( In The Blood )

*END*

SOMETIMES MY FRUSTRATION AT MY INABILITY TO FINISH SCENES MANIFESTS IN BIZARRE WAYS.

[00:25] JeccaAM: raragfds
[00:27] JeccaAM: “Hello,” she says, for lack of anything better. Her voice cracks.
[00:28] JeccaAM: "I see you've finished having screaming fits at everyone to pass by. Should I take this to mean you're getting better or that you're about to keel over dead?"
[00:28] JeccaAM: "um," hotaru replied intelligently.
[00:29] JeccaAM: "I see," the nurse said, nodding, as she made a note on a clipboard. "I'll have them up your medication, then."
[00:30] JeccaAM: Hotaru bit her lip. "um. Do you... see that?" she asked, pointing towards the opposite corner of the room.
[00:30] JeccaAM: "Oh, her?" the nurse asked, not actually looking. "Yes, she's been there for a few days now."
[00:30] JeccaAM: The girl in the corner twitched and started gnawing on her wrist.
[00:31] JeccaAM: "... shouldn't you... stop her?" Hotaru asked, concerned.
[00:31] JeccaAM: "She'll stop in a minute," the nurse replied, shrugging. "Mostly she sits there making faces and trying to form coherent sentences on the paper we provide her."
[00:31] JeccaAM: "... I see," Hotaru said.
[00:32] JeccaAM: "Why can't you just have a normal conversation?" the girl suddenly howled, burying both hands in her hair and rocking back and forth.
[00:33] JeccaAM: "Sorry," Hotaru said, raising a hand as the nurse turned to leave, "but d'you think I could maybe get a different room...?"
[00:33] JeccaAM: "I hate you," the girl snarled.

I think this is supposed to be some sort of meme-thing where people request the subject, but no one ever asks for these two, and on the rare occasion someone does, they never include a prompt, and I WANT TO WRITE THEM, (and also I'm not sure if it's 5:1 or 4:1, but) so I'm utterly disregarding whatever rules that are possibly supposed to be had for this.

So there.

(Though I guess since I'm mentioning this, if anyone wants to request Jecca try this with anything else, go ahead. I'll try anything once, at least.)

Anyway, Jade and Okame, mostly Okame. Mostly Okame being crazy, or having crazy forced upon her, or something. ... The usual, really. No, I'm never going to stop posting about them. I like them.

Title: Five Incidents
Author: Jecca Meitahn / twilit_wanderer
Wordcount: 1,810
Rating: T-ish - seriously, I never know how to rate these things
Warnings: Potentially disturbing, distinct lack of sanity, fem-slash of a sort (extremely mild, more like pre-slash)
Summary: Four times Okame had dreams (none of them nice) and one time she didn't.
Disclaimer: Jade's mine. Okame's not. I was given free use of her by her creator, and I'm going to assume this still applies, even though we no longer speak to each other.

( Five Incidents )

*END*


To clarify, Okame doesn't severely freak out every night she's by herself, and this went on for far longer than four days/nights before Jade clued in and moved Okame into her own room and took up residence on the floor.

Also, there's a line in the second part referencing a poison. I didn't expand on it here, because doing so felt extremely out of place, but that is established. See Jade's "brief" history here.

Those of you not familiar with the characters of Jade and Hotaru (Okame is her last name, and often how I refer to her) will find this, at best, disjointed, bizarre, and possibly quite stupid. (I'll probably be posting an entry or two about them and their 'verse in the near future, for those of you who aren't but might want to be familiar with them.) This, though? I don't even know. The strangest things set that girl off sometimes. ... This is, apparently, brought on by toothpaste. Okame. You so crazy.

mysticeden, I guess this is for you, since you've been wanting to see more of these two.

Title: Taste
Author: Jecca Meitahn / twilit_wanderer
Wordcount: 471
Rating: T
Warnings: Distinct lack of sanity, fem-slash of a sort (nothing explicit)
Summary: She hates the taste.
Disclaimer: Jade's mine. Okame's not. I was given free use of her by her creator, and I'm going to assume this still applies, even though we no longer speak to each other.

( Taste )

*END*

Another box of old supplies and folders and papers yields more surprises, these ones less glee-inducing than the ridiculous stick figures and notes from school and the like!

In this box, I found a bunch of my old drawings/sketches, which isn't so bad except I could draw even less then than I can now, which means a lot of it's really awful. Also, some of its stuff based of things I was writing at the time, and therefore irredeemably bad solely on principle.

And, of course, a lot of old writing. AUGH AUGH BURN IT. WHAT WAS I THINKING. (To be honest, I knew it was awful at the time, but was forcing myself to write something every day and so just ended up writing it anyway.)

IT IS SO, SO AWFUL. UGH. UGH.

I have no idea what to do with any of it, either! I try not to throw out any of my old work, but this is seriously, seriously awful stuff.


There are approximately TEN THOUSAND (probably more) hand written pages of notes from video games. Bits of script, key combinations, item locations, puzzle clues, oh, God, you name it, if it's from Final Fantasy VII, VIII (especially VIII), IX, X, X-2, Chrono Cross, or Kingdom Hearts, I've got it. I honestly cannot believe the amount of stuff I have written down. THANK GOD FOR PERSONAL COMPUTERS AND INTERNET. I can just get rid of all this stuff.


At the bottom of the box, I found some slightly more recent stuff - from about 2003, I'd imagine. It's pages and pages and pages and notebooks and... everything, just everything full of notes and images and character bios and just information on a story I had planned to start writing featuring characters created by my friends and I. Just for fun, you know? Everyone seemed really into it, then all of a sudden they all weren't. It was a very abrupt change and I never quite figured out what triggered it.

But looking at this stuff just makes me sad. I remember when I was friends with people and stuff and it just ... it's upsetting, and what I really want to do is talk to something about this stuff, but there is no one online right now except my brother, who wouldn't even pretend to care, and I know my parents wouldn't care, either. I don't want to SAY it, I want someone to HEAR it. I guess I will keep it bottled up forever instead or something. BLEH.

On the more positive side, since this is the universe that Jade and Okame were originally inhabiting, there's a bunch of stuff on them. Most of it's out of date and none of it's actual writing, but there are some little doodles that I really like. And, oh, God, it was so obvious even then that they were completely together. How did I manage to not notice that for so many years?

Back in January, I was struck by madness and slammed this thing into a word document. It's two original characters. One of them - Jade - is mine. Hotaru Okame was created by travelers_flame but I've been given free reign over her. I did ask specific permission to do this, though, because it's not nice to send anyone to Silent Hill.

They both have quite a bit of history behind them (and, yes, they are in a very, very bizarre and messed up relationship of sorts). If anyone aside from Ani actually reads this and wants to know what the heck is going on, uh. Ask. I am really only posting this now because, well, for one, Silent Hill has literally come up from six different people in the last 36 hours or so, and Okame and Jade've been bugging me, so I ended up asking Aniko if she'd seen the entirety of this story (I know I'd sent her the beginning). No, she'd not, but all I could find was the one saved with html-tags, so instead of cutting them all out, I just posted it.

This is... fairly unedited. I'm rather bad at editing my own work, so couple that with me being up literally all night writing this and you've probably got a lot of missing words. Oops. >.>? Feel free to point out any errors.

( Endtil )

So, uh... yeah, there was stuff I wanted to say about this but I can't remember any of it right now. Probably either edit it in or just make a new post later. Fun times. Any questions? Final thoughts? HOW MUCH DO I SUCK OH GOD I MUST KNOW PLEASE. Please understand, I hate all of my work. No amount of praise will change my mind, so certainly don't feel the need to! It's a win/win situation for everyone! Except Aniko, who continues to try to convince me I am not as awful as I imagine.

Also I hate the ending. Hate the last word (Okame's creator does like it, but she is not me), but not sure where else to put it and I feel it to be necessary. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I could do with that, or does it not suck as much as I think it does? >_>;


And now in a different conversation with someone else, the idea of Hisime going to Silent Hill has come up. That is horrifying! Hisime should not be sent to Silent Hill and I refuse to go along with you, Brain!

This is like some kind of sign, isn't it? Why is everyone talking about Silent Hill all of a sudden?