This is the most ridiculous thing.

Okay.

So.

This person I know - I don't even know if it's a conscious action on their part! - they keep copying me in a specific manner. I cannot say what, because that would make it painfully obvious who I mean. It's not something particularly important, and it's not anything anyone else would probably even notice. (It isn't just in my head, though, I promise.)

But it's driving me batty.

Like, when I see it's happened again, I actually get kind of angry. That used to confuse me, but in a (semi) recent conversation with my mother, she proposed it might be because I'm still trying to find my own identity, and people were always doing the exact opposite of me all through school, and so someone doing what I'm doing for [x] reason or whatever really throws me off. I don't know too much about the second one, but I can see the first one, or something similar being the cause of it. That doesn't stop it for annoying me, though.

But because it is such a stupid little thing, and because I have no proof that it's a conscious action, and because even if it was, it's hardly harmful, I can't really ask the individual in question to CUT IT OUT without looking like a complete lunatic.


BUT AAAARGH.



... I am aware this entry is vague and stupid, but I really had to say I AM FRUSTRATED without someone else going "over that? WTF is your problem" which is pretty much what everyone's response has been. SORRY, IT BOTHERS ME. I REALLY WISH IT DIDN'T, BUT APPARENTLY IT DOES.

TODAY I WANTED TO GO TO AN ORIGAMI FLOWER MAKING SESSION buuut the seats were all full. I hung around (it was at the library, it's not like there was nothing to do) and got to make a basket, instead. It is a little malformed, but I like it well enough! The instructions were a bit difficult to follow and everyone else kept needing help, so mostly I kept weaving blindly on, so I even actually made it myself, unlike most everyone else in the class. ABSURDLY PROUD. Here are some shots of it! One! Two! I got a bamboo flower vase/stand thing, too! And had fun talking to the other people at the table. (AND I got a copy of the instructions for the pretty flowers, so it's all good.)


SUDDEN CRAVING TO WRITE FIC oh plotting center, why are you still broken? That it has been down so long has me honestly and seriously worried about what, exactly, it's going to spring on me when it makes its sudden and probably ill-timed return.

Final Fantasy VIII is just one of those things, I guess, that makes me want to write andor read stuff.

(Oh, man, speaking of FFVIII fic, just earlier tonight, I was talking to someone and they mistakenly credited me for one of my favourite fics ever. I was really confused at first, because of course that fic was the first one to pop into my head, but I've forgotten things I've written before, so I wasn't sure if I knew what he was actually referring to. I am a bit flattered that he would think I could write something like that, but it is also a bit... disappointing? I don't know, I can't really explain it. I sure wish I could write things that make me go GLEEEEE.)

At least I've had the WIP folder open. I mean, that's probably the first time since at least July that I've actually bothered looking at anything in there.


Have a design for our pumpkin. Technically my cousin picked it out, and actually I think she found it online, lame. But I had no idea what to put on it, so. I have it marked out, but I haven't carved it yet. The thing has at least been hollowed out. I should have time tomorrow or Saturday morning to HACK IT WITH A KNIFE. Maybe I'll put something else on the back. I don't know what. Also last night I went to her place and helped make cookies, but the frosting was from a can. The cookies were pretty good, though. Have been invited to her party Saturday night. MIGHT DIG OUT QUISTIS COSTUME. Not sure. Not like I have anything else, since Mom took it upon herself to throw out (well, get rid of. She donated most of it) all the costume stuff. She says now she's not sure what, exactly, she was thinking, doing that.


Aniko wants to (watch me) play Final Fantasy X next. Can't wait to see what she calls me for this one. It will probably get messy. Hng.


ALSO, weirdly, I haven't been able to remember most of my dreams lately (there have been one or two exceptions), but what I can recall is that, when they aren't freaking me out or just making me uneasy, they feature characters from Avatar. I do not know why! I do not even remember what they are doing! I just always wake up wondering why I am dreaming of fandoms I am not involved in (at least I am not dreaming of fandoms I haven't even seen the canon for?). (And, really, I'll take them over more WEB-DWELLING HELL BUGS any day. I have seen the bugs that would inhabit my personal Silent Hill. They are horrible and I wish to never experience such a thing again.)

Comes up with the strangest ideas, that one.

FFXI had maintenance and an update today. SE changed things at some point to allow us to download the new files before the servers were actually back up and running, which was nice of them. It used to be that we'd all end up camping the [Play] button and then all crash each other out and break the game as we all tried to download several thousand files over the next day or so. Now we can at least get some of that out of the way before the game's back. So after maintenance started, I logged in, downloaded the files, and logged out. Whoo, files.


And then I went around, did some homework, did some reading, did some random tidying, ate some food... the usual.

Maintenance was extended two hours (nnnot that I was waiting for - okay fine there's a quest I was on that I'd really been enjoying the story for, and I really wanted to finish it to see the ending...) (IT WAS DELIGHTFUL AND WONDERFUL AND ALSO FULL OF THOSE ABSURDITIES WE'VE ALL COME TO EXPECT FROM SE THAT STILL ALWAYS CATCH US OFF GUARD SOMEHOW), but things are back up and running now, and people are busy being slightly horrified by SE's choice of items needed to increase the gobbiebag size (oh god why), and it is only now when I am sitting at my computer checking things I would normally have checked much earlier in the day (like, oh, my e-mail?) that it occurs to me that somehow my brain equated "FFXI is down for maintenance" with "there is no internet." I went and checked a couple pages, was disappointed in the lack of updates, and then immediately though, 'well, of course no one's updated. The system's been down all day.'

I wonder if I always do that, or if this is just a random exception.


Speed edit:
Oh god the post-update/maintenance drama is always some of the best stuff in the world. ♥ XD


Also. There's someone on the forum who has a signature that always makes me both laugh and swear simultaneously.


"You are now consciously breathing."

Jecca, driving to work. It's a beautiful day and there's not a cloud in the solid blue sky. The sun is somewhere overhead, completely out of her field of vision.


She thinks, genuinely confused: But I turned weather effects back on last night.



Then she nearly crashed the car in horror.




In FFXI, when you disable weather, you not only turn off actual weather - rain and snow and wind and the like - you turn off sky effects. No clouds, no stars at night. There's still a sun and a moon, but the sun's often directly overhead and not in your field of vision. I play with weather effects off most of the time, because some effects, especially dust storms, make my computer lag up. Lagging is not something I can afford, as timing is very important to a thief. I turn them on for short periods of time when I know I won't be in places with EXTREME WEATHER or if I'm not planning on partying. Reference shots of sky, 11 am (game time): weather on, weather off.

I cannot believe I actually thought that. I just... I've never done anything like that before, completely misplacing reality in such a manner. I am both mortified and appalled.

My dearest, darling Brain, I have but one very short, very simple message for you:



NO.

FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR DEITY HERE. NO.

I DO NOT NEED TO WRITE ANOTHER SILENT HILL CROSSOVER, AND IT MOST CERTAINLY DOESN'T NEED TO BE A DIRECT SEQUEL TO THE FIRST ONE. (NO ONE EVEN READ THAT. YOU'D THINK THIS WOULD DISCOURAGE ME.)



... MIRAGE, I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T STOP SMIRKING AT ME SO SMUGLY, YOU'RE NEXT. YOU'LL GET STUCK IN THE HELLTOWN WITH SOMEONE NAMED JEREMIAH AND YOU'LL BE CHASED BY DEMON CAT-CARS OR SOMETHING. EVEN THOUGH THAT MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU BE ANGSTY ABOUT A CLOSE CALL WHEN YOU HAVE A MILLION AND TWO OTHER MORE REASONABLE THINGS TO ANGST ABOUT. SHUT UP AND GET IN THE BOX WITH ALL THE OTHER ALTERNATORS.

please dont it would be so lonely if you were all packed up

mirage why is there a spiderweb on you the spiders should all be dead or asleep or something by now and that wasnt there yesterday



There are Hanukkah songs stuck in my head. This would almost make sense if not for two very minor details:
- Hanukkah is over.
- I am not Jewish.


I have no sanity.

I was just blindsided by possibly the most awful Transformers/Silent Hill crossover idea in the history of the world. Literally struck. I physically reeled.


WHY DO I NOT HAVE A DELETE FUNCTION?



At least the Beast Machines one that I'm still kicking around has some degree of reasoning behind it. This one appears to have spawned itself solely in an attempt to thoroughly disturb me. (It has successfully accomplished this task.)


And I am horribly, horribly intrigued by it. Save me.

Someday, I am going to invent a word for how much I both love and hate these games. Today is not that day.

Today I was flung from the Tube of Medusa no less than twenty times! Then I stopped counting. (That is only flingings, that is not me charging blindly in my mad dash to escape the medusa and missing the next series of water tubes.) Clearly, I am a bit out of practice. That I am playing with a keyboard instead of a system controller probably is not helping, as I have never found a key set-up that I like. Also, it is a lot harder to button-mash on a keyboard, or at least it is for me. Less with the moving dolphin, more with the being thrown.

Supposedly, in Hard Mode, there are multiple medusas. I have never attempted it. One is bad enough. (I have been struck by enough lunacy to play Asterite's Cave on Hard, which mostly means there are, like, FIFTY THOUSAND lost baby orcas, as opposed to just twenty, or whatever. I do not recommend ever doing that.)


Dinner was Thai, and my mother and I were going to watch a DVD, but the DVD-player is ridiculous and we could not get it to work. (After we finally got the DVD menu up, the system refused to accept commands from the remote, so we literally couldn't get it to play. This is just another reason why I like my PS2 - it is very easy to play DVDs on it.)


And one of the crucial missing points for "GT" may have fallen into place at work (in between radio commercial jingles and Girl Scout campfire songs - my brain appears to be set to "shuffle"). Wikipedia is failing my fact-checking, but whatever. The "American Holiday" was summer, 2006, and the GT went in... autumn. And if not, well... That's how it goes here. SO THERE.

SAN D'ORIAN GAMBLER EATEN BY WILD MOOGLE



Explanation, such as it is, given only to the curious.

... back to flashcards. Or not.

Aniko, I swear, you're not even online right now, but I need to get some sort of restraint against you and my Brain working together, because you encourage it and it is currently refusing to shut up and let me do my schoolwork.

I have spent, literally, the entire day composing scenes for "WST-Live!" and it is ALL YOUR FAULT. If (either) Prowl murders (either) Jazz by the end, it will be completely justified, AND THAT WILL BE YOUR FAULT, TOO.

Despite - or possibly to spite - this, I have instead been working on "GT" all afternoon.

But I may be going to hell. I cannot believe I wrote this.


The Trans-Fan's Prayer

Transformers, who art of HasTak, hallowed be thy canon.
Thy warriors come. Thy battles be fought, on Earth as they are on Cybertron.
Give us this day our daily finds.
And forgive us our fanworks, as we forgive those whose fanworks offend us.
And lead us not into snipe bidding, but deliver us from scalpers.
For thine is the franchise, and the retcon, and the robots, for ever and ever.
Roll out.




YES I AM AWARE THERE ARE PLACES WHERE THE SYLLABLES DON'T MATCH UP.

Those of you not familiar with The Lord's Prayer may want to take a crash course, but I suspect this was inspired by the FFXI-based parody of it I saw on Allakhazam back when I frequented the forums there. Though the Intro Survey I've had sitting filled-out on my desktop for the last two months wherein I answered TRANSFORMERS FOREVER? with AND EVER, AMEN could not have helped.

I keep telling myself I will post that tomorrow. The problem is that I am a total wuss and also that today always has a tomorrow. What will happen, you see, is I will die horribly some day without having ever delurked, and then people will write tragic poems about it and send them around as internet chain mail.

Also, "And forgive us our fanworks, as we forgive those whose fanworks offend us" is like my new favorite line ever. And should perhaps be applied to every member of every fandom everywhere.