Currents of Time

So, now that we’re halfway through the month of November and I don’t feel like suddenly actually committing to getting 50k words out of myself by the end of the month, I have suddenly come up with exactly what I am going to do for next year. Maybe I can come up with something slightly less hilariously lame. We shall see. I HOPE I DO NOT FORGET BECAUSE it made me giggle at the sheer idiocy of it. I have made a note to myself, but who’s to say if I’ll remember it’s there, or that I won’t lose it somehow, or… whatever.

I was maybe stupid enough to tell my manager I’m totally able to work Thanksgiving. Uuh. Self, what. At least I’ll get out at 3 instead of when it is DARK AND COLD AND DINNER IS OVER. And, according to my brother, who has worked for the same store (well, same chain, different location. Where I used to work), Thanksgiving day itself is actually pretty slow. Probably because everyone’s busy cooking.

In entirely unrelated news, the ending of Final Fantasy X still makes me do that weird thing where your eyes are leaking but you aren’t really crying? Except then the credits start rolling and I don’t have to watch anything anymore and then I kind of do cry a bit. I know I wrote a memo to myself regarding watching things that will make me cry shortly after cleaning my glasses, mostly concluding that I should not do this. I WILL NEVER LEARN.

I was going to beat it last night, but when I went to tell Aniko to STAY OUT OF THE ROOM because, you know, spoilers, it somehow came around to me starting a new file. But no such thing happened tonight and it's kind of like Ecco in that once I get the idea in my head that I need to play it, I can't get it back out until I remember exactly how it hurts me. (This is Dissidia's fault, though. How dare you use the musical cues, game?! Ecco is almost always entirely my own doing.)


Man, also, at work this evening I suddenly had an awesome idea for something to write (not the NaNo thing, that’s actually a day or two old), but by the time I had finished walking home I’d talked myself out of it. I can’t quite bring myself to say it’s a terrible idea, simply because it amuses me, and while I won’t deny at all that my sense of humor is questionable at best, it is hard to dislike something that genuinely entertains you, isn’t it?

Part of the problem might be that it was FFVIII-related, and I am ridiculously intimidated by the idea of even writing, never mind actually posting, anything about it. And I worry a lot about getting everyone wrong, because mostly I either don’t relate to them at all (personality-wise, I mean) and so wonder if I’m really doing them any justice, or because I relate to them entirely too much and then I wonder if I’m projecting. And my brain is really addled from LIFE these days and I can't remember if canon is as ambiguous as I'm coming up with or if anything is actually established. And I can't be bothered to go looking because don't wanna, though it could possibly give me a "BUT IT GOES AGAINST CANON" excuse, because of course AU fic is entirely out of the question. Of course. uurgh.

So. I kind of collect journals. I don't mean to, but then I'm in the bookstore just browsing, and, oh, that's pretty, and next thing I know... Also, people buy them for me a lot. ♥! JOURNALS!

I actually do write in them. Sometimes they sit around a bit while I try to figure out what to use them for, but they all get used.

I've fairly recently discovered a new, uh, brand, I guess, of journals! Paperblanks! (ooh, look, they have a site!) Aniko bought me one like this (ha! I couldn't get a decent picture with my digital camera, but Amazon has it!) for my birthday/Christmas, and I didn't do much with it until June, but even before then it was very pretty and I liked the texture of the pages, and I liked the weight of it. Aaand I was in Borders on Wednesday (seriously, the second half of my first class was dedicated to browsing in a bookstore. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?). We were supposed to pick up a book relating to the class (which I did), and then grab a journal. I already have a journal for the designated purpose (dream recording), but I followed orders like a good little minion and went rummaging around in the journals section... and I found THIS, and it is so pretty and and and. I had to buy it. I HAD TO.

IT JUMPED OFF THE SHELF AND LATCHED ONTO ME. I COULDN'T PRY IT OFF. WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

And I'm totally going back and picking up this one (edit: I went and purchased it. You're not allowed to be surprised) and this one at some point, too. (I HAS 5 DOLLAR COUPON FROM SPENDING MONIES ON BOOKS, ALSO, SO. SAVINGS! well, no, not really, since I had to spend quite a bit to get said coupon...)

(But, hey, if you like journals, too, see if you can find one for yourself. They're lovely~)


Anyway, I've been using it to record my thoughts on That Thing that's been eating at me, which I keep on mentioning vaguely (see, it's not that I don't trust you guys, it's just that this is a really sensitive subject for me, and I know I'll probably react poorly to almost any reaction - or lack thereof - to it, given time to mull over it, so I'm not going to put it up here. If you really want details, bother me over AIM or through email or something.), and I think it's helping, at least somewhat. I can at least get my thoughts out in a semi-coherent manner and sort them, without leaving it open for just anyone.

...Jecca, just anyone could pick it up and open it. Just because it isn't posted online... Oho, you underestimate me! I'm sure I've mentioned once or twice that I have my own writing... I've been using this. (I happen to think it looks pretty. It makes my handwriting - which, as some of you have seen, is pretty darned awful - look less ridiculous and illegible than it normally does. And it's not something just anyone can read. Unless you can read it, in which case I'm a bit off the mark, there.)



I finally allowed the stupid pop-up to update me to Firefox 3, and I'm not sure I like some of the changes they've made. The address bar, for one, thinks it is being helpful by drawing from the page title. NO, WHEN I TYPE "t" I EXPECT THE TOP OPTION TO BE MY JOURNAL, NOT ... whatever the heck it is this time! STOP IT. grrrr. (Oh, dear, I've just outed myself as an impossibly lazy web surfer, haven't I?)


ALSO: Potentially good news for me, less so for at least half of you scrolling past this. I think my bizarre and sudden NOT TALKING TO YOU bout with the Transformers fandom may be coming to an end. (I don't even know what brought it on. I just woke up one morning too annoyed at it to even consider dealing with any of it.)

Thank goodness. I have missed my giant robots. Also it's been like, what, two months? Surely something interesting has happened in my absence...

ALSO ALSO: crud, Jade and Okame are scratching at my brain. They don't bother me much, but when they do, I pretty much cannot ignore them. Normally this isn't a problem, because normally I can write. Unfortunately, I am not capable of such things at the moment. DAMN YOU, CREATIVITY.

ALSO ALSO ALSO: OH MY GOD I HATE TVTROPES you can tell i love you by my decision to not include a link to it in here MAKE IT STOP

The gaming lounge downtown closed! SORROW! More sorrow from downtown, but significantly less so, the Oasis Diner is changing hands. Didn't go there much at all, anyway, but it's still too bad. They're going to completely change it.

Unrelated, my wrist decided it hasn't proven how much it hates me in a while, so now I am stuck in the giant brace-of-no-articulation until the pain (which prompts an odd desire to cut my arm off) passes. (It's really not that huge, but I hate wearing the thing.) I HAVE NO WRIST ON MY RIGHT ARM. It is driving me insane. FLEX, you useless joint! *waggles fingers in futility* Neck is acting up, too, though that's an easy fix (but hearing and feeling my neck crack-pop in like ten places is never not going to be a bit worrying). At least my knees are behaving.

Also unrelated, obtained deluxe Movie Arcee! I'm not sure if they restock Sundays or Mondays, but by the time I have been getting there on Wednesdays, they only have, like... Payload or Dreadwing or somesuch other character that I do not want. She has a functioning kickstand! It is awesome or possibly I am just entirely too easily entertained. (Now if only Concept Camaro Bumblebee would just stop being sold out everywhere...)

Plus, new Heroes. (Yeah, yeah, that started last week. Shush.) (Also, there is no way this 'no longer entirely subtextual' subtext is unintentional.) (ALSO, Claire, ew, and didn't that hurt? JEEZ.)


...Finally, Mom made pumpkin cheesecake. Life is good.