Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2008-04-09 09:25 pm
jecca_mehlota) wrote2008-04-09 09:25 pm
Entry tags:
Team "Erin Go Braless"
Went to the pub last night with my father, as planned. Tuesdays are "PubQuiz" night, so my cousin's been trying to recruit people who are full of really useless knowledge about really random things.
Though I missed last week's, when they featured a bunch of video game stuff. Oh, well.
It was fun! I fully intend to go every Tuesday I am available! Even if it means dealing with a slightly tipsy father.
So. Speaking of my father.
SURELY WE ALL REMEMBER ME GOING ON AND ON AND ON AND on about a "friend" that I'd finally had enough of? Possibly not. Whatever. I had a "friend." She was kind of a terrible friend. I'm mostly sure her intentions were mostly good, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and what all. And I finally confronted her about it and said, that's it, I am done with you, goodbye.
This was, you know. Months ago. Ever since then, my father - at least once a week when Saturday rolls around and someone goes to rent a video to watch - tries to convince me to go talk to her and repair our "friendship."
I'm sick of it. I cannot take it any longer. My first when this came up last Saturday was to hit him. I didn't, but that I'd even thought it horrified me. The "friend" in question wasn't good for me. Everyone who met me after I started attending college has thought this, and I think the people who knew me before only think/thought otherwise because we were "friends" for so long. But I am so much better now. I've tried everything and I don't know how to make him understand, since he seem determined not to.
I don't want to talk to her. I'm not avoiding her because I'm angry. I don't care. I don't want to talk to her because I know how she'd act, and I don't feel like dealing with it. I don't want to be her friend because all she did was completely ignore me and forget about me.
I did manage to get him to drop it for a week and a half once, after I made the extreme comparison to a couple in an abusive relationship and - to my shock - my mother agreed with me. (If she could see it was so terrible for me, why did she keep encouraging me to make up with her every time I tried to break off the friendship? That one really confuses me.)
But now he's back to it. Maybe he's worried because I don't have any real-life contacts, I don't know. I've asked him, and he's said that's not really it. He just remembers "how she used to come over and she'd go upstairs, and soon after I'd hear laughing and giggling." The way he says laughing - laaaf-fing, in a higher pitch and with a strange splayed hands motion - irritates me more than it ought.
No matter what I say, I can't convince him I'm happier without her. I feel better.
It's kind of nice finally dropping someone who has only made you feel worthless for the past four years or so.
I'm not denying in the least that we had some good times, but when I sit and think about it, the bad memories, and the times she ignored me or canceled on me or lied to me for/about really trivial stuff (saying she had to work when she was really going out with her friends or going away with them for a week or something)... The bad outnumbers the better stuff by a frightening amount.
I told her several times, you're allowed to have other friends. I won't be upset if you hang out with them. You don't have to tell me you have to work or you're busy with school. I can handle the truth! She just never bothered to give it to.
...And, no, I didn't spy on her. There were times when I didn't know she was out of town and I'd call her dorm or home and be told she wasn't available because she was out of state. There were times I'd be told she had to work and I'd call around the time she'd get home and be told, no, she's been out with some friends all day. Sometimes she'd forget she told me something different before and she'd tell me herself she was out with other people. I found these things out by accident.
That's all a bit tangential, though. The long of it is, I'm doing better and I really wish there were some way to make him see that other than Blunt Object To Skull. I'm not very good with violence. (Honestly, that I actually honestly thought of punching someone? I'm a bit worried.)
Editing this in because I have to put it somewhere I'll remember it and I absolutely refuse to put another word document in my stuff folder. It's got FOURTEEN works in progress (sadly not a lie), as well as the ever-present document full of nifty symbols and their corresponding keyboard code (you know, è and õ, ç, ¿, etc) and the quotes file (full of... quotes).
Why, Jecca, do you have a folder called "Writing" if you store all of your WIP documents in the main folder? Those are just the ones I'm actively working on. I put them there so they're easy to get to, on the slim chance they fall off the Recent Documents menu. The other works in progress are stored back through Writing, where I (eventually) have an actual WIP folder. (I have been told my computer-filing system is insane. I prefer to think of it as excessively organized.)
Also, if I put it here, odds are good I'll be perpetually going, "THAT IS A REALLY STUPID THING TO POST HURRY AND SAY IT SO WE CAN TAKE IT BACK DOWN" and actually remember to use it.
Communicative Master Brother says, regarding father:
because it increases the chance by 1% that he'll remember, look him in the face, with a very serious expression
in a calm voice (anything else and he'll forget about it)
tell him "Dad, I am done being friends with [her]. I have no intention of rekindling the friendship. I'm asking you to drop this and never talk about becoming friends again"
Been doing the first two. Have said things very similar to the wording. Will try his wording and see how it goes, though.
That all aside. I have a mushroom and feta calzone. It is tasty.
Though I missed last week's, when they featured a bunch of video game stuff. Oh, well.
It was fun! I fully intend to go every Tuesday I am available! Even if it means dealing with a slightly tipsy father.
So. Speaking of my father.
SURELY WE ALL REMEMBER ME GOING ON AND ON AND ON AND on about a "friend" that I'd finally had enough of? Possibly not. Whatever. I had a "friend." She was kind of a terrible friend. I'm mostly sure her intentions were mostly good, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and what all. And I finally confronted her about it and said, that's it, I am done with you, goodbye.
This was, you know. Months ago. Ever since then, my father - at least once a week when Saturday rolls around and someone goes to rent a video to watch - tries to convince me to go talk to her and repair our "friendship."
I'm sick of it. I cannot take it any longer. My first when this came up last Saturday was to hit him. I didn't, but that I'd even thought it horrified me. The "friend" in question wasn't good for me. Everyone who met me after I started attending college has thought this, and I think the people who knew me before only think/thought otherwise because we were "friends" for so long. But I am so much better now. I've tried everything and I don't know how to make him understand, since he seem determined not to.
I don't want to talk to her. I'm not avoiding her because I'm angry. I don't care. I don't want to talk to her because I know how she'd act, and I don't feel like dealing with it. I don't want to be her friend because all she did was completely ignore me and forget about me.
I did manage to get him to drop it for a week and a half once, after I made the extreme comparison to a couple in an abusive relationship and - to my shock - my mother agreed with me. (If she could see it was so terrible for me, why did she keep encouraging me to make up with her every time I tried to break off the friendship? That one really confuses me.)
But now he's back to it. Maybe he's worried because I don't have any real-life contacts, I don't know. I've asked him, and he's said that's not really it. He just remembers "how she used to come over and she'd go upstairs, and soon after I'd hear laughing and giggling." The way he says laughing - laaaf-fing, in a higher pitch and with a strange splayed hands motion - irritates me more than it ought.
No matter what I say, I can't convince him I'm happier without her. I feel better.
It's kind of nice finally dropping someone who has only made you feel worthless for the past four years or so.
I'm not denying in the least that we had some good times, but when I sit and think about it, the bad memories, and the times she ignored me or canceled on me or lied to me for/about really trivial stuff (saying she had to work when she was really going out with her friends or going away with them for a week or something)... The bad outnumbers the better stuff by a frightening amount.
I told her several times, you're allowed to have other friends. I won't be upset if you hang out with them. You don't have to tell me you have to work or you're busy with school. I can handle the truth! She just never bothered to give it to.
...And, no, I didn't spy on her. There were times when I didn't know she was out of town and I'd call her dorm or home and be told she wasn't available because she was out of state. There were times I'd be told she had to work and I'd call around the time she'd get home and be told, no, she's been out with some friends all day. Sometimes she'd forget she told me something different before and she'd tell me herself she was out with other people. I found these things out by accident.
That's all a bit tangential, though. The long of it is, I'm doing better and I really wish there were some way to make him see that other than Blunt Object To Skull. I'm not very good with violence. (Honestly, that I actually honestly thought of punching someone? I'm a bit worried.)
Editing this in because I have to put it somewhere I'll remember it and I absolutely refuse to put another word document in my stuff folder. It's got FOURTEEN works in progress (sadly not a lie), as well as the ever-present document full of nifty symbols and their corresponding keyboard code (you know, è and õ, ç, ¿, etc) and the quotes file (full of... quotes).
Why, Jecca, do you have a folder called "Writing" if you store all of your WIP documents in the main folder? Those are just the ones I'm actively working on. I put them there so they're easy to get to, on the slim chance they fall off the Recent Documents menu. The other works in progress are stored back through Writing, where I (eventually) have an actual WIP folder. (I have been told my computer-filing system is insane. I prefer to think of it as excessively organized.)
Also, if I put it here, odds are good I'll be perpetually going, "THAT IS A REALLY STUPID THING TO POST HURRY AND SAY IT SO WE CAN TAKE IT BACK DOWN" and actually remember to use it.
Communicative Master Brother says, regarding father:
because it increases the chance by 1% that he'll remember, look him in the face, with a very serious expression
in a calm voice (anything else and he'll forget about it)
tell him "Dad, I am done being friends with [her]. I have no intention of rekindling the friendship. I'm asking you to drop this and never talk about becoming friends again"
Been doing the first two. Have said things very similar to the wording. Will try his wording and see how it goes, though.
That all aside. I have a mushroom and feta calzone. It is tasty.