Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-03-12 12:53 am
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-03-12 12:53 am
No emotional stamina
Today was a bad day. I went to bed shortly after news of Japan started rolling in, woke up (and got up, as opposed to the numerous times I woke up and tossed and turned until I passed out again, which is basically how I've been sleeping for the past week) at 8:30, and proceeded to spend the day nearly killing myself on the icy sidewalks trying to hang more posters for my cat, crying approximately once an hour every hour, trying to clean my room (and crying more every time I dug up another of his little toys), and reading up about what was going on over around the Pacific and wishing I had the energy to care about it a little more.
And I just... I can't, and I feel like I should feel bad about that, but I'm just all burnt out. I mean, I was sort of feeling it earlier, and then I remembered that a kid I grew up with and his girlfriend (both actually really nice people and I liked them) were over in Japan and I had no idea where and that just sort of was the final straw for my emotional center. It has shut down in self-defense.
Also I guess there's a disgustingly large number of people (though one would be too many) saying things like, "Yeah! Take that, Japan! Revenge for Pearl Harbor!" which, I don't understand? I mean, that'll have been 70 years ago in a few months? I'm willing to bet none of these people were even alive? Heck, most of their parents probably weren't alive? What the hell is wrong with these people? (Why do all of these sentences end in a question mark?)
Also I guess Michigan is totally fucked. (Apparently that shit passed? Michigan, I think it is time you show us your mass exodus-ing and/or rioting skills.)
Anyway, I'm exhausted, I have a headache, and my eyes hurt. And I'm running on fumes because the worry and stress and grief have (obviously) caught up with me and I've crashed and my stomach always goes first and now I can't eat 'cause I feel ill. The world needs to right itself by the time I crawl out of bed tomorrow, or I will not survive the workday with any of my remaining mental functions intact. (...Though in some respects, that might be a blessing.)
And I just... I can't, and I feel like I should feel bad about that, but I'm just all burnt out. I mean, I was sort of feeling it earlier, and then I remembered that a kid I grew up with and his girlfriend (both actually really nice people and I liked them) were over in Japan and I had no idea where and that just sort of was the final straw for my emotional center. It has shut down in self-defense.
Also I guess there's a disgustingly large number of people (though one would be too many) saying things like, "Yeah! Take that, Japan! Revenge for Pearl Harbor!" which, I don't understand? I mean, that'll have been 70 years ago in a few months? I'm willing to bet none of these people were even alive? Heck, most of their parents probably weren't alive? What the hell is wrong with these people? (Why do all of these sentences end in a question mark?)
Also I guess Michigan is totally fucked. (Apparently that shit passed? Michigan, I think it is time you show us your mass exodus-ing and/or rioting skills.)
Anyway, I'm exhausted, I have a headache, and my eyes hurt. And I'm running on fumes because the worry and stress and grief have (obviously) caught up with me and I've crashed and my stomach always goes first and now I can't eat 'cause I feel ill. The world needs to right itself by the time I crawl out of bed tomorrow, or I will not survive the workday with any of my remaining mental functions intact. (...Though in some respects, that might be a blessing.)