Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-01-31 02:00 am
jecca_mehlota) wrote2011-01-31 02:00 am
I did not throw the PSP!
Sooo the internet crapped out for no apparent reason a few days ago and it was way too early for bed, so THERE I WAS, LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO DO. And then I remembered I bought a new (to me, anyway, picked it up used) PSP game, like, three months ago. Maybe more. I've heard a lot of crap about it, and I've had other things to do, so it hasn't been high on my priorities list, but what the heck! SO I OPENED THE CASE AND --- Inside was my copy of Daxter? WTF?! Right series, at least…? And then I thought for a moment and remembered I'd already put Jak and Daxter: The Lost Frontier in the PSP. Crisis resolved! (Since Daxter came with the PSP in the bundle pack, it didn't have a proper case of its own, so it spent a while being moved around to the case of whatever game I wanted to play. I did finally secure an empty case for it, though, so I'm really not sure what it was doing in there…)
HEEEY THIS WILL BE THE FIRST NEW SAVE FILE ON THE NEW MEMORY CARD WHOOO since now that I have a new memory card, I can save new files. Yay, card space.
Anyway, on to the game.
WARNING: THIS ENTRY IS REALLY LONG (about 18 pages)
Keira, what did they do to your poor face.
And Jak's voice. Oof. We're like a minute in and this is already not going well!
…That is absolutely not what I was expecting Phoenix to sound like. I don't know what I was expecting, but that … wasn't it. (Not that it's bad, just… took me by surprise.)
… The ship is powered by green eco? What the – okay, I've heard plenty about how ridiculous this game is, but I guess playing really is believing.
Actually, everyone looks weird (lack of goatee is not helping, I admit), but Keira's face seems to have encountered the worst of it.
(BUT WHY AND HOW IS GREEN ECO BEING USED AS FUEL? I'M REALLY CONFUSED.)
Hm. I'm playing this on the PSP (it has the cheaper used copies of the game), and apparently the PS2 version had a bunch of camera issues, but I'm really missing the right analogue stick. I want to be able to look around more than I can! … And I want to be able to climb on everything, game! IF I WANT TO HURL MYSELF INTO OBLIVION BY ACCIDENT, YOU SHOULD LET ME. ;_;
Good reason not to just ignore whatever Dax is saying during the in-game tutorial: you cannot use violence against the rock pillar. No. You have to push it over with the triggers.
ECO VENT??? … it appears to do nothing. Boo.
"Looks like eco but it's all hard and pointy" WHAT COULD IT BEEEEEE
…GOSH I DON'T KNOW ECO CRYSTALS MAYBE?
Oooor it could be an "eco prism" that converts black eco into green eco. Sure! WHY NOT.
AAAAAAUGH VEHICLE CONTROLS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU. It's not counter-intuitive or anything, it just feels… something. I don't know. Not quite right somehow.
Aeropa! It is a city! On the edge of the world!
… AND THEY WON'T LET ME STAND ON THE TABLES SCATTERED ALL ALONG THE WALKWAY. I FEEL CHEATED.
Ah. Rather than bringing skull gems to GIANT PRECURSOR STATUE, or stalking out the EVEN MORE GIANT PRECURSOR STATUE, this time around we bring dark eco blobs to Keira and she magically converts them into coloured eco… somehow… and I use the blob-count to purchase skills. (I… guess it's a good this I was so neurotic about picking up all the eco blobs in the second and third game. I don't need to learn it now!)
WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN LOOK SICKLY
I… I CAN'T DO IT. TOO MUCH POWER… DARKNESS EVERYWHERE…. Jak = dramatic emo poet?
Haha, they've heard about me, but I still need to face the "Danger Course" to prove I'm capable.
"If there's one thing we're good at, it's arbitrary platforming challenges, mixed with heavy gun-play." Good to see we're still pounding against the fourth wall!
Wow, three rounds of this "Danger Course"… And, haha, the middle one is laughably easy. I thought you had to shoot the targets while moving towards/past them, but nope! You can just stand on one of those platforms and pick off all the targets, netting a perfect score.
Also, more lag. I may need to do a partial install of this game.
Daxter falls down a sewer, Jak doesn't appear to notice, Dax gets a dark eco shower and turns into some… weird, hulking, purple … thing, and, whoops, there went any chance of my taking this game even remotely seriously. "Dark Dax"? What the actual fuck? That doesn't make any sense! … also, I need to add that he's a stupid, crazed, dark eco-hungry, Tazmanian Devil rip-off. Go, spin-attack. o.O;;
AAARGH. I mean, okay, maybe I was being a little harsh on things above, but I was still willing to make an effort, right? But this is just SO STUPID AAAARGH. One thing too many. I'm still going to play it, but… >_> I will not be able to take it very seriously, I suspect.
So, naturally, as soon as they hand us the Eco Seeker, Phoenix blows up the wall, then swings through and nabs it. Jak looked way too excited by the wall-explosion, which only further adds to my suspicions that HIG doesn't really know what they're doing with the character models…
And he just abducted Keira, too, which I suppose was nicer than just shoving her off the craft to die or whatever.
… Damn it, game, I unlocked the goatee, so why is it still absent from scenes? You are lame. Laaaaame.
Ugh, I can't get the handle of this Press Triangle to Fire thing. I keep pulling the trigger and, of course, that just rotates the camera. (I KEEP TRYING TO ROLL, TOO, TO SIMILAR RESULTS.)
So we just stole their Air Speed Mod, and the reaction shout is, Oh! No! NOT AGAIN! Which officially makes Phoenix my favourite character in this game for reasons I can't even begin to determine, but which are probably largely related to that being hilarious and his not being an established character so I don't need to spend the game going WHAAAAAT at his appearance and behaviour.
Also, hahaha, I know it's probably supposed to be like, ARGH THEY KEEP STEALING MY STUFF but since either the game glitch-lagged and I never saw the notice for the first item or he just shouts that every time regardless of whether or not you've removed anything prior, it came across more as a, DAMN IT, EVERY TIME I REPLACE THAT AIR SPEED MOD SOMEONE COMES ALONG AND PULLS IT OUT! WTF!
AND THEN WE CRASH 'cause the game doesn't trust me to lose that battle on my own. … Now, in the game's defense, thus far, I've done far more damage to this thing by running into the scenery than any of the AI enemies have done shooting at me.
Which is embarrassing. Come on, game, the enemies took me out plenty enough in the first three games! And then in Jak X, too, though I'll admit there was also one hell of a lot of self-induced crashing, there. And also, crashing was sort of the entire point. Combat racing, yo. It's right there in the name.
ALL RIGHT SCATTER GUN. Seems strange that I get you second this time around. Not complaining about that, just noting that it is different.
(Speaking of all that, okay. In the second game, obviously you had no gun mods at the start. In the third game, they gave a good reason for it! And there are no normal guns on the race course.
But whyyyy did they go off to explore strange new worlds and new civilizations without Jak bringing along his gun? Seriously?)
Oh, okay, we have Precursor statues powering me up, here, too. The more things change…
It is really frustrating that the laser does not actually line up with where the gun is aiming!
In some of these scenes, the new guy manages to sound a lot like whoever originally did Jak's voice, but that just serves to make the differences even more glaring. It's weeeeird.
Anyway, Crazy Old Man has just sent us on a death mission (business as usual) to retrieve a power pod from his Uber-Bot 888.
Heeey, first death of the game! Took me long enough. (I haven't fallen to my death once yet! This is awesome, but a bit confusing.) (And, sadly, if I'd stopped fumbling with the control scheme, I'd've been fine, but instead I kept going WHY GUN NOT FIRE while pulling R1 and then losing sight of it and then not paying attention, anyway, and so not jumping over the shockwaves.)
And now we chase the ship and BLOW BITS OFF IT WHOOO and then land on it whooo.
(Also: TO MAKE MY LIFE HELL, whilst on foot, Triangle is FIRE GUN, but while in the air, R1 is fire gun. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HELP ME TO STOP PULLING THE TRIGGER AND EXPECTING JAK TO SHOOT THINGS, GAME.)
… sweet, I can shoot pedestrians without being hunted down by either the KG or whichever Wastelander I accidentally clipped. Pirates are apparently ridiculously passive about being blasted.
Haaa, Jak just launched the Eco Seeker out the freaking window in a sneak attack move… Brilliant! Now we need to go back and get it!
So, why is Keira capable of turning dark eco into… other eco? I mean, even ignoring how that makes no sense based on what we know of eco, why can she? Because she's studying to be an eco sage? Okay, great, but I'm pretty sure none of the other eco sages we've ever met could do things like that. DARK ECO SAGE. Except, uh, Gol and Maia?
UGH, I KNOW I SAID I WASN'T GOING TO PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THIS CRAP it would be easier if they didn't insist on restating it everywhere, though.
DAMN IT, GUYS, I AM JUMPING ON YOUR HEADS, DON'T JUST TAKE IT! So disappointiiiiinnnnggggg.
Oh, there we go! I just fell into lava. … And again. XD
… oooh, haha, I bet I was supposed to eco-blast that rock out of the way, not engage in a death-defying leap over the lava around the corner of the wall. Haaa. WELL WHATEVER I DIDN'T DIE, SO.
I wonder if Phoenix can beat you to the Eco Seeker. Probably just results in a MISSION FAILED.
CRAZY OLD GUY STOWED AWAY ON MY HELLCAT. Weren't those spelled with a "k" before, or do I just always expect it on account of the Krimson Guard?
… Man, it's just no fun socking people in the gut if all they're going to do is groan and double over.
Also, without the roll-jump, I am instead forced to settle with double-jumping my way down the corridors. Jak, you look a bit like an idiot. I suppose I should apologise for it, but someone's shot Phoenix's ship full of holes (IT WAS MEEEEE) so we have to go to Far Drop – which I guess is a town or something – for supplies. And obviously this impedes me from making said apology.
D'you think Barter is supposed to be a Lurker, or is he just some random other… thing.
…I have to kill a mutant monkey. Fantastic.
OKAY WAIT, WHAT THE HELL. SO. MUTANT EEL-THINGS. THEY ARE APPARENTLY REALLY HUGE. So when Daxter was turned into WHATEVER THAT THING IN THE SEWERS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT, he was apparently, like, three time's Jak's size, which, what. WHAAAAT. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON IN THIS GAME. (Also, I really don't understand why Dark Eco is suddenly making Daxter into DARK DAX OMG instead of just killing him outright or DARK MAKER-ing him up or something.
OHHHH, THE ORPHANS! Screw these orphans, oh, my gosh, if they really wanted to be saved, they wouldn't have let the developers put in such terrible fixed camera angles.
URGH FINALLY THAT STUPID MONKEY IS DEAD that whole thing was beyond stupid.
Okay, Barter, I was pretty annoyed with you for that whole stupid thing you just made me do, but having me start a bar fight afterwards is pretty awesome and I feel better about having my ass handed to me by those weird mutant things several times over now.
I'd probably feel the whole OH NO PEOPLE THINK KEIRA IS CAP'N PHOENIX'S (HE'S THE BEST) NEW GIRL thing more if I 'shipped Jak and Keira. Sorry, guys, I really do love you both, but I'm just not getting the romance angle.
… haha, what? I like how I do that ONE WHOLE THING of retrieving supplies (and taking out mutant eels and a mutant monkey and some mutant other things – and get taken out a few times by the last on that list) and Phoenix is all like OKAY HONORARY PIRATE, YOU CAN TOTALLY PILATE US WHEREVER YOU WANNA GO NOW IT'S ALL COOL.
Hey, there are skeletons all over the floor in this Aeropan … facility thing! Wait, where the hell am I? How have I forgotten this already? Falling down the hole distracted me. That is my only excuse.
Oh, look, it's the prison/ECO INFUSION CHAIR from the second game! Only we probably blew that up at some point (we blew up a lot of things, okay? You can't fault me for not remembering exactly what it all was. THE TOWER CAME DOWN, ANYWAY, and wasn't it in there?) and we're on the Brink and this is an Aeropan place. So obviously not the exact same one.
What?? Someone's been experimenting with Dark Eco, Jak?? OMG! You must be joking! (The dark eco mutant monsters didn't give it away…?)
Also, it's kind of weird for them to be calling everything by a normal name. Monkeys and armadillos! When, you know, it used to be combinations like… crocadogs.
… yeah, sure, I can totally buy that Daxter would just immediately assume that a panel with brightly coloured glowing buttons in the middle of some sort of eco lab would be a CANDY MACHINE. Christ, not another Dark Dax level. Also, why the heck aren't any of them the least bit concerned about this? (Aside from the shoddy characterization, I mean. Guys. Jak and Daxter are friends. Remember? Of course, Jak's apparently been replaced by his not-so-identical twin, so I guess it's not so strange that his personality went out for a stroll and got lost in the back alleys of Haven City. There are a hell of a lot of them, and if it forgot the map, it's probably going to be wandering for a good while…)
… omg. This plane is actually awesome. LOOK, IT MOVES AND MANEOUVERS!
Also, random aside, but, damn, this game is full of internet meme phrases (or slightly twisted ones). Barrel roll, apes on a crane…
Man, I miss being able to shove enemies off cliffs to their deaths. They can still knock me off! I can still walk off! But I can't use gravity (or pools of Dark Eco) to my advantage. Alas.
Whoops, wrong turn into a room full of guards. DIE FOR A CAUSE, says the poster on the wall. This one says "warrior".
Shit. Every guard in the world is behind this door I'm standing in front of. THIS WON'T END WELL. :D
Hm. So the crazy old amnesiac guy was a Dark Eco sage. SURE WHY NOT. OH NO HE MADE DARK WARRIORS.
OH NO IT WAS FOR PHOENIX FOR THE AEROPANS. (Well, his whole thing when we met him kind of already gave away that he knew about that crap, at least.)
OH NO JAK AGGRO – wait, no, crisis delayed. Keira wants us to listen to his explanation.
Blah, blah, blah, terrible war, they were losing… I'm with Daxter and his mocking hand gestures, here, Phoenix. We're not just heard this story before – we've played it!
Haha, what the hell? Skyheed (the guy in charge of Aeropa) has put Dark Eco into everyone in the city? Wooow. (Oh! Maybe that's why they all look a bit discoloured.) And the old guy is amnesiac because when Phoenix realized Dark Warriors = BAD IDEA, he kidnapped the head scientist, and the guy got knocked on the head in the process.
BUT ENOUGH EXPOSITION HOLD STILL I NEED TO SHOOT YOU, YOU EVIL THING, YOU! Keira says WAIT again and violence is again delayed.
OH, SHUT UP, UNNAMED OLD MAN, YOU CAN TOTALLY KILL YOUR WAY TO FORGIVENESS.
I LIKE HOW DAXTER TURNING INTO A GIANT, PURPLE, MONSTERTHING IS PLAYED FOR COMEDY. THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME GUYS. KEEP IT UP. I WILL KILL YOU ALL.
Jak, I swear to god it is like you have had a personality transplant. I am more and more amused by the fan commentaries I've seen that you're either drugged out of your mind or the unfortunate victim of a botched lobotomy. (… Some sort of brain trauma would explain why Jak is apparently no longer capable of swimming. Water is now DEATH.)
The sheer destructive force I wreck upon this vessel… Phoenix must be regretting ever letting us lunatics aboard by now… Yet he never says a word. (Unless my hyperactive flailings take me over to his side of the railing and I punch him in the gut, but that's still more of a grunt than a word.)
"STUFF FOR SALE! POORLY MAKE TRINKETS AND PILFERED BELONGINGS… AND ME UNDERPANTS. … (USED, THAT IS.)" Man, between that line, the cabbage obsession everyone here seems to have, and the fact that if I walk up to someone and punch them, they at least try to hit me back, I think Far Drop is probably the best area in this game.
What is with every NPC I ever have to compete against wanting to do terrible things to Daxter? Eating, turning into a fur coat… But, yay! More bar fights!
Also, some of these START A FIGHT mission descriptions are amazing.
"See those pirates over there? They called you a chicken. Nobody calls you a chicken. Go knock their teeth in. That'll show 'em."
"Those pirates made fun of your new jacket., so you're going to make orphans of their kids. Just don't let their grubby pirate hands touch you; a single hit will ruin your new threads and lose the fight." (So that's why they have so many orphans that need defending from mutant monkeys…)
So we've gone past the Brink and into some weird vortex-y thing… now we're being attacked by ghost pirates while music that reminds me a bit of the main theme from Pirates of the Caribbean plays…
Ha! One more hit and we'd've gone down in a messy explosion, but then the end appeared and we survived. Yay. x3
…"Becoming quite the treasure hunter"? Keira. What the hell have I been doing for the past… EVERY GAME IN THE SERIES? What is that, five?
OH NO IT'S THE BEHEMOTH (which is the big airship from Aeropa, by the way). AAAA SHOOT AT IT
Man, why am I the only one fighting against this giant freaking ship? PIRATES ARE LAME.
But I still won (and only died twice!), so, whatever.
OH WAIT IT'S NOT OVER YET now they're connected to our ship! QUICK GO ON DECK AND FIGHT THEM OFF! Or jump off the side! That is a perfectly understandable reaction in this situation.
Can I just add (again?) that the camera is evil and whoever thought these forced angles were going to be helpful is clearly some kind of colossal idiot?
The Eco Seeker is repaired and it poooooints…. Back to the research dig. Whee!
SO. We're to sneak in! Stealthily! So they don't ambush us!
This is apparently done by blowing up their launch bays and destroying their shield generators so that the shield protecting the dig is deactivated.
… and I'm sure if I just landed or if I crashed and the game counted it as landing. I'm pretty sure that was a fireball, but now we're all in the elevator. So. Uh.
Hello, Eco Core! At the center of the planet…? OR SOMETHING. It's unstable! And there's a prism in the middle that… divides eco into colours! …
BUT IT'S OKAY KEIRA CAN FIX IT. YAAAAAY ALL BETTER.
Uh oh, Klout and the unnamed pirates are marching in with Skyheed. TRAITORSSSS. Phoenix needs to GO, apparently. Which is too bad, because I'm liking him best out of all the characters, since he's the only one not suffering from massive characterization issues. Have I said that already? I've certainly thought it already.
Anyway, Skyheed's all doing the villain thing. KILL EVERYONE. Except that guy, I wanna study him – so, like, come on, join my side! Sir, Jak will eat your face before going along with that.
But instead of fighting, we run away. WITH THE ECO CORE? Oh. No. We just brought it to the surface. Oh, well. That would've been a good laugh, if we'd stolen it.
Anyway, I guess they've laid siege to Far Drop, so I suppose we'll be headed over there next. First more talking, though. As Jak and Phoenix bond over committing acts of violence.
(I am so bummed I know what'll happen in relation to a few specific things by the end of the game.)
Haaa, one of the Secrets is "Phoenix's Floatie"… Poor Phoenix, never learned to swim. But with this attractive life preserver, he's ready for anything. (Too bad Jak needs one, too, now, huh?)
Hmm. My weapon of choice uses the yellow eco, but they never give me that type of ammo. It's all the red and the blue. Even the green (and, by the way, wtf @ green eco weapon) sees more ammo than the yellow.
We just planted a bomb and forgot to think of a way off ahead of time. Business as usual!
Aaaand looks like we've got another fight with the Behemoth coming next. Eeew.
BEHOLD, THE POWER OF DARKNESS… ECO. Channeling your inner Ansem, there, Skyheed?
Oh, what would I be playing if I didn't encounter some strange glitch or another? I just flew into the Behemoth character model and got stuck there. Good job!
Ah, but that time I made it go away. Yaaay.
Now we're going back to the barracks again to look for a warp gate-thing that a mysterious someone just sent us a SUPER SECRET MESSAGE about. And also the passcode for it. Was Klout just pretending to sell us out to get in with Skyheed and Aeropa, or am I giving them all too much credit? It's probably someone else… Don't ask me who.
You know, I really just… do not at all understand why the barracks are flooded with Dark Eco. THIS REALLY CONFUSES ME. (Also, it confused me when, last time we were here, Daxter said he'd never seen so much Dark Eco before in his life! … Apparently we got a new Daxter at some point, or something, because there was plenty of the stuff in the earlier games – some more so than others, admittedly. But, I mean, geez, there was only an ENTIRE TANKER full of it – literally, after we flooded the thing – in the game named after him.)
So we walk in and tell everybody to get out aaand… Dax gets grabbed by a guard, then zapped with MOAR ECO and, okay, yeah, he apparently turns FREAKING MASSIVE, since he's now towering over the guard, and the guards tend to tower over Jak. Okay, then. SERIOUSLY, he's like, twice the size of that guy!
… Aaaaand Jak thinks Daxter turning into a horrible Dark Eco monster is funny! Let's make some jokes about it! ……. Um. Yeah, actually, I'm kind of. Not having words for this anymore.
While we're here, the first time I was set in control of Daxter (proper-Daxter, not Hulking Purple Daxter) – I didn't mention either of them, it looks like, actually, so, okay – at two points earlier, Jak used his Eco Shield ability on Daxter to send him down a … tunnel to "get help" (ie, trigger the walkway to fall in front of us so we could keep moving). And the first time it occurred, for a moment, I honestly thought he wanted Daxter to turn into HULK BEAST form and was absolutely horrified.
That is how wrong the characterization in this game is. I had no trouble whatsoever believing that they'd write in something like that.
(I mean, and here's the thing. Daxter has kind of joked about Jak's DARK ECO RAAAR form, but it still always felt like there was still the understanding that it sucked and was not really the best thing to have ever happened.
Honestly, it feels more like Daxter has been downgraded from Friend to Pet.)
Oh, sure, NOW you're all I GOTTA GO BACK FOR HIM (and Keira is still all EEEEW DARK ECO FREAKS. HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF! … she's not exactly like eeeew, by the way. She does say he can take care of himself, though, since he's, like, huge! Actually, the whole quote is, "He was like, huge! Daxter, or whatever he is, can take care of himself." So, you see? Not exactly like EEEEW DARK ECO FREAKS.
… BUT STILL PRETTY DAMNED CLOSE. :( Oh, Keira. I'd thought you were over that, at least a little.)
At least Daxter seems to approach the situation with something closer to what you'd expect. OH I'M FINE, JUST TURNING INTO A HORRIBLE MONSTER NOW, HOW ARE YOU?
Keira is so glad to have two monsters to worry about. (HIGH IMPACT GAMES, YOU HAVE BEEN READING TOO MUCH FANFICTION, HAVEN'T YOU.)
Meanwhile, Jak is just standing there with a dopy grin. Ugh.
Oh. I am back in Aeropa and it is ON FIRE. And suddenly full of more of those really, really terrible fixed camera angles. Yeah, no! Hey! It's not like I'd like to be able to look around and see what I need to head towards or anything!
The next PSP system (whatever it's called, which is not "the PSP2") will have twin joysticks. IT IS ABOUT TIME, SONY. Not that I plan on buying the new one, and not that it'd help with FIXED CAMERAS, but I really find myself missing being able to move the camera around however I want when there aren't TERRIBLE ANGLES being forced upon me.
Ah, apparently we are just going straight up. I'd STILL have liked to be able to look around and come to that conclusion on my own eventually, even if I did end up dying ONE MILLION TIMES before then! Blah blah blah, they changed it now it sucks, blah.
Okay, I've turned weapons back on (oh, yes, there was a "weapons lock" machine that I had to go destroy so the pirates could come in and murder). Now what?
Blah blah, some kind of dark eco [STATIC] near the palace… Ooh, new armor. Shiny. (HEEEY, WE'VE GOT PRECURSOR ARMOR AGAIN NOW.) Um. Anyway, unfortunately, I've no idea if I'm near the palace or not. But I'd guess that, yes. Yes, I am.
Heck, I'm probably climbing around the outside of it. Guys, that was, like. 6 hours ago (playtime-wise, anyway), and once. You can't really expect me to know where things are around here…! *whine whine*
Hallo, dark eco mutant boss. I wish I could tell when you were hitting me. … and that you hit for less than, what was that, like, half my HP? Cripes!
HEY. NO FAIR USING ECO SHIELD ABILITIES. :(
… it ran away! CHASE!
KILL!!!
Hm. This looks a lot like a ROOM BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE/S BEGIN. Must pick eco abilities carefully…
Aaand now Skyheed (who wants to RULE THE WORLD) is also in possession of a DARK ECO MONSTER AAAAA form. I guess the eco on the brink must be different from the eco they were using in Haven, to have so many successes. I mean, these guys grow huge, but retain some sense of coherency and can even have conversations! Damn, Jak, you really got the shit end of the deal.
Ah, Ruskin was the one sending us messages. (Ruskin is the one who said we could have the Eco Seeker for a week if we passed the Danger Course.) But now he's dead. FROM GRAVITY. Yeah, I've been there, too, man… :\
Heee, you can make him run into pillars and hurt himself. :3 That's fun.
… HAHAAA "What's he doing with that pla--- HOOOLY CRAP HE JUST PICKED UP THAT PLANE!"
Plane gun would probably hurt more if it weren't just pelting straight into another pillar... OH OKAY AND NOW HE'S FUCKING THROWING THE PLANE AT US JESUS CHRIST I don't think the pillar will hold up to that ABANDON BASE
… Oh. Pillar came out just fine. I like to think the plane still would have damaged me, though, because otherwise I just fled my sanctuary for nothing. :<
Ah. And then I can spin-kick the plane missiles back at him. Thank goodness this idiot is providing me with a way to destroy him (it seems I can't actually hurt him, myself. Though the gun or some eco abilities would probably work. – WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T SPIN-KICK MY WAY THROUGH THIS ONE? Oh, self).
HEY GAME! KNOW WHAT'S NOT AWESOME? SHITTY FIXED CAMERA ANGLES, SHODDY CONTROLS AND RESPONSE TIMES, AND MASSIVE POOLS OF DARK ECO IN THE PATH.
I didn't actually run into one, but it was close.
… And probably about to get closer! The camera insists on following Skyheed, so it's always swinging around and leaving me blind. THIS GAME. UGH!
BUT HAHA SO THERE I DIDN'T DIE AT ALL. You failed, game!
And then he runs away! In a plane.
JAK JUMPS AFTER IT! … It's a bit of a failure! Fortunately, Phoenix drops us a rope and we scurry back up to the Phantom Blade.
…So, like. Skyheed's ship can teleport. Cheap!
So, the dialogue lags in this game, too. I haven't mentioned it before, but I am getting a little tired of Daxter yelling at me to dodge out of the line of fire when nothing has been attacking me for well over a minute.
Keira: FOLLOW SKYHEED! COME DOCK ON THE PHANTOM BLADE!
… IT CAN'T BE BOTH, KEIRA. D:
The screen says to obey the latter, though, so off we go!
Man, you guys, Phoenix is so badass. Jak has to grab the wheel to steer this ship. Phoenix just needs to LOOK AT IT and it flies to wherever he so desires. (He's actually behind it for once, instead of standing of to the side to let me have control.)
Anyway, that was kind of a waste o time. I didn't even need to do anything on the ship, since Phoenix flew us after Skyheed with his mind. I docked, then turned around and went right back out. Didn't even need to leave the room / general vicinity of my aircraft!
Also, haha, most useless shield / cutscene ever. Next time, cutscene Jak landing and launching again! (We're up against the Behemoth again, only – oh no! – it has a shield! Except even before the fight starts, the Phantom Blade launches a missile salvo at it and the shield is knocked down.
OH NO he is drawing power from the Core and it could destroy the planet! Not that I can do much beyond continuing to shoot the targets, but, you know. Whee.
So, this is all going pretty well, except all of a sudden I am flying down some weird tunnel-thing and there are purple globes and they hurt when you run into them. FFFF. Whatever, they didn't restart me at the beginning of the boss fight and now my plane has full health.
Oh, okay. The corridor-things occur when I blow up one of these crystals. That didn't happen before! Anyway, they'd be easier if I could tell where the edges of the thing were. Ugh. Trippy.
AND THEN MY PLANE RANDOMLY EXPLODES nyooo :<
OH WOW! Okay, at the beginning of the fight, Keira said she'd be out with the Hellcat if she … something something? I figured, meh, no, she won't, only she did just come out of nowhere to catch us before we dropped into the water below. Which, you know, since Jak has forgotten how to swim in this game, is a good thing.
Ha – if Phoenix doesn't show me up, who will? Though, sad. He's running the Phantom Blade into the energy stream between the Behemoth and the Eco Core and BOOM EXPLOSIONS and now he is dead. :< :< :<
(I'd been spoiled for his death, so, alas, there will be no AAAUGH WTF NOOO flailing from me.) (But I am still bummed, because he was easily the best character in this game.)
(New personal canon: he totally survives somehow. Shut up.)
AAUGH NO okay so the laser beam weapon is pretty cool, but I really liked having two different weapons so I could fire the lock-ons at one target and pick of other things with the gun. Whatever, the crystals are destroyed, regardless. I WIN, YAY.
… that was kind of embarrassingly easy for a final boss. :\
Soo all the dark eco floods into the core and then it starts shining and ringing and I SWEAR TO GOD that was the first few notes of the Final Fantasy theme what the hell ANYWAY.
Yaaay, the world is going back to being stable.
And now Keira is channeling Eco and Daxter is proud of being a massive monster.
The old guy's name is Tym, apparently.
NEXT ADVENTURE: GOING OUT OVER THE BRINK since there was a big energy line going out over it.
More hilarious moments of dialogue-lag fail. Jak and Keira start making out while Keira is telling Daxter that he's out-voted and they're all going on a new adventure. WHAT IS SHE SPEAKING OUT OF?
I wonder what happened to Tess?
Random Jak X plug over the credits… o.O; Daxter is listing things he's going to bring, and one of them was the Precursor gaming system. And the racing game, Jak X!
That's a little too meta, even for me. XD
Hm. You know, I do wish I'd known we wouldn't return to Aeropa again. I'd have explored a whole lot more.
OKAY, SO. THIS GAME. Final thoughts!
FFFFFFFFFFffffff OKAY. The basic story underneath everything? The premise? Actually pretty good! And the game play was a lot of fun when the camera wasn't being an absolute beast, although that happened an unfortunate amount of the time. The script was passable no it wasn't I've changed my mind. It was mostly not very good. And the characterization of the old characters (all three of them) was TERRIBLE, which breaks my heart rather a lot. The new guys are all fine. Heck, like I said above, Phoenix was my favourite character here.
Also, I don't really like whoever they had doing Jak's voice in this game, but it's probably largely in part because I was used to the other guy.
Also Keira sounded a bit odd, but it was Tara Strong voicing her, so maybe it's just the PSP sound system? Or, considering I kept thinking she sounded too much like Sari from Transformers: Animated, maybe it's just my brain getting the better of me.
BASICALLY: fun to play, but try not to pay too much attention to the cutscenes. Also: very short. My play time is under 8 hours, and it's not like I was rushing through as fast as possible. I did most of the optional missions and explored as much as the game was willing to let me.
DEATH LIIIIIIST
Uber-Bot 888 (shockwave): 1
Uber-Bot 888 (falling logs): 1
Hellcat Crash: 3 (…+1?)
LAVA: 3
Whatever the hell those burrowing creatures are supposed to be: 2
Guards: 9
Dark Eco: 2
"Dark Creatures": 4
Falling… forever!: 17
Falling forever off the Phantom Blade: 1
Jak Has Forgotten How To Swim: 3
Fucking SPIDERS, man!: 2
Shot outta the sky: 3
Stuck inside the Behemoth and whittled to death: 1
Dark Eco Mutant Boss: 3
Wtf corridor-thing: 1
Daxter:
Falling… forever!: 1
Total: 57 (+1?)
My thumbs hurt.
...AND NOW BACK TO HELPING MY BROTHER WITH HIS HOMEWORK. Whee!
HEEEY THIS WILL BE THE FIRST NEW SAVE FILE ON THE NEW MEMORY CARD WHOOO since now that I have a new memory card, I can save new files. Yay, card space.
Anyway, on to the game.
WARNING: THIS ENTRY IS REALLY LONG (about 18 pages)
Keira, what did they do to your poor face.
And Jak's voice. Oof. We're like a minute in and this is already not going well!
…That is absolutely not what I was expecting Phoenix to sound like. I don't know what I was expecting, but that … wasn't it. (Not that it's bad, just… took me by surprise.)
… The ship is powered by green eco? What the – okay, I've heard plenty about how ridiculous this game is, but I guess playing really is believing.
Actually, everyone looks weird (lack of goatee is not helping, I admit), but Keira's face seems to have encountered the worst of it.
(BUT WHY AND HOW IS GREEN ECO BEING USED AS FUEL? I'M REALLY CONFUSED.)
Hm. I'm playing this on the PSP (it has the cheaper used copies of the game), and apparently the PS2 version had a bunch of camera issues, but I'm really missing the right analogue stick. I want to be able to look around more than I can! … And I want to be able to climb on everything, game! IF I WANT TO HURL MYSELF INTO OBLIVION BY ACCIDENT, YOU SHOULD LET ME. ;_;
Good reason not to just ignore whatever Dax is saying during the in-game tutorial: you cannot use violence against the rock pillar. No. You have to push it over with the triggers.
ECO VENT??? … it appears to do nothing. Boo.
"Looks like eco but it's all hard and pointy" WHAT COULD IT BEEEEEE
…GOSH I DON'T KNOW ECO CRYSTALS MAYBE?
Oooor it could be an "eco prism" that converts black eco into green eco. Sure! WHY NOT.
AAAAAAUGH VEHICLE CONTROLS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU. It's not counter-intuitive or anything, it just feels… something. I don't know. Not quite right somehow.
Aeropa! It is a city! On the edge of the world!
… AND THEY WON'T LET ME STAND ON THE TABLES SCATTERED ALL ALONG THE WALKWAY. I FEEL CHEATED.
Ah. Rather than bringing skull gems to GIANT PRECURSOR STATUE, or stalking out the EVEN MORE GIANT PRECURSOR STATUE, this time around we bring dark eco blobs to Keira and she magically converts them into coloured eco… somehow… and I use the blob-count to purchase skills. (I… guess it's a good this I was so neurotic about picking up all the eco blobs in the second and third game. I don't need to learn it now!)
WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN LOOK SICKLY
I… I CAN'T DO IT. TOO MUCH POWER… DARKNESS EVERYWHERE…. Jak = dramatic emo poet?
Haha, they've heard about me, but I still need to face the "Danger Course" to prove I'm capable.
"If there's one thing we're good at, it's arbitrary platforming challenges, mixed with heavy gun-play." Good to see we're still pounding against the fourth wall!
Wow, three rounds of this "Danger Course"… And, haha, the middle one is laughably easy. I thought you had to shoot the targets while moving towards/past them, but nope! You can just stand on one of those platforms and pick off all the targets, netting a perfect score.
Also, more lag. I may need to do a partial install of this game.
Daxter falls down a sewer, Jak doesn't appear to notice, Dax gets a dark eco shower and turns into some… weird, hulking, purple … thing, and, whoops, there went any chance of my taking this game even remotely seriously. "Dark Dax"? What the actual fuck? That doesn't make any sense! … also, I need to add that he's a stupid, crazed, dark eco-hungry, Tazmanian Devil rip-off. Go, spin-attack. o.O;;
AAARGH. I mean, okay, maybe I was being a little harsh on things above, but I was still willing to make an effort, right? But this is just SO STUPID AAAARGH. One thing too many. I'm still going to play it, but… >_> I will not be able to take it very seriously, I suspect.
So, naturally, as soon as they hand us the Eco Seeker, Phoenix blows up the wall, then swings through and nabs it. Jak looked way too excited by the wall-explosion, which only further adds to my suspicions that HIG doesn't really know what they're doing with the character models…
And he just abducted Keira, too, which I suppose was nicer than just shoving her off the craft to die or whatever.
… Damn it, game, I unlocked the goatee, so why is it still absent from scenes? You are lame. Laaaaame.
Ugh, I can't get the handle of this Press Triangle to Fire thing. I keep pulling the trigger and, of course, that just rotates the camera. (I KEEP TRYING TO ROLL, TOO, TO SIMILAR RESULTS.)
So we just stole their Air Speed Mod, and the reaction shout is, Oh! No! NOT AGAIN! Which officially makes Phoenix my favourite character in this game for reasons I can't even begin to determine, but which are probably largely related to that being hilarious and his not being an established character so I don't need to spend the game going WHAAAAAT at his appearance and behaviour.
Also, hahaha, I know it's probably supposed to be like, ARGH THEY KEEP STEALING MY STUFF but since either the game glitch-lagged and I never saw the notice for the first item or he just shouts that every time regardless of whether or not you've removed anything prior, it came across more as a, DAMN IT, EVERY TIME I REPLACE THAT AIR SPEED MOD SOMEONE COMES ALONG AND PULLS IT OUT! WTF!
AND THEN WE CRASH 'cause the game doesn't trust me to lose that battle on my own. … Now, in the game's defense, thus far, I've done far more damage to this thing by running into the scenery than any of the AI enemies have done shooting at me.
Which is embarrassing. Come on, game, the enemies took me out plenty enough in the first three games! And then in Jak X, too, though I'll admit there was also one hell of a lot of self-induced crashing, there. And also, crashing was sort of the entire point. Combat racing, yo. It's right there in the name.
ALL RIGHT SCATTER GUN. Seems strange that I get you second this time around. Not complaining about that, just noting that it is different.
(Speaking of all that, okay. In the second game, obviously you had no gun mods at the start. In the third game, they gave a good reason for it! And there are no normal guns on the race course.
But whyyyy did they go off to explore strange new worlds and new civilizations without Jak bringing along his gun? Seriously?)
Oh, okay, we have Precursor statues powering me up, here, too. The more things change…
It is really frustrating that the laser does not actually line up with where the gun is aiming!
In some of these scenes, the new guy manages to sound a lot like whoever originally did Jak's voice, but that just serves to make the differences even more glaring. It's weeeeird.
Anyway, Crazy Old Man has just sent us on a death mission (business as usual) to retrieve a power pod from his Uber-Bot 888.
Heeey, first death of the game! Took me long enough. (I haven't fallen to my death once yet! This is awesome, but a bit confusing.) (And, sadly, if I'd stopped fumbling with the control scheme, I'd've been fine, but instead I kept going WHY GUN NOT FIRE while pulling R1 and then losing sight of it and then not paying attention, anyway, and so not jumping over the shockwaves.)
And now we chase the ship and BLOW BITS OFF IT WHOOO and then land on it whooo.
(Also: TO MAKE MY LIFE HELL, whilst on foot, Triangle is FIRE GUN, but while in the air, R1 is fire gun. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HELP ME TO STOP PULLING THE TRIGGER AND EXPECTING JAK TO SHOOT THINGS, GAME.)
… sweet, I can shoot pedestrians without being hunted down by either the KG or whichever Wastelander I accidentally clipped. Pirates are apparently ridiculously passive about being blasted.
Haaa, Jak just launched the Eco Seeker out the freaking window in a sneak attack move… Brilliant! Now we need to go back and get it!
So, why is Keira capable of turning dark eco into… other eco? I mean, even ignoring how that makes no sense based on what we know of eco, why can she? Because she's studying to be an eco sage? Okay, great, but I'm pretty sure none of the other eco sages we've ever met could do things like that. DARK ECO SAGE. Except, uh, Gol and Maia?
UGH, I KNOW I SAID I WASN'T GOING TO PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THIS CRAP it would be easier if they didn't insist on restating it everywhere, though.
DAMN IT, GUYS, I AM JUMPING ON YOUR HEADS, DON'T JUST TAKE IT! So disappointiiiiinnnnggggg.
Oh, there we go! I just fell into lava. … And again. XD
… oooh, haha, I bet I was supposed to eco-blast that rock out of the way, not engage in a death-defying leap over the lava around the corner of the wall. Haaa. WELL WHATEVER I DIDN'T DIE, SO.
I wonder if Phoenix can beat you to the Eco Seeker. Probably just results in a MISSION FAILED.
CRAZY OLD GUY STOWED AWAY ON MY HELLCAT. Weren't those spelled with a "k" before, or do I just always expect it on account of the Krimson Guard?
… Man, it's just no fun socking people in the gut if all they're going to do is groan and double over.
Also, without the roll-jump, I am instead forced to settle with double-jumping my way down the corridors. Jak, you look a bit like an idiot. I suppose I should apologise for it, but someone's shot Phoenix's ship full of holes (IT WAS MEEEEE) so we have to go to Far Drop – which I guess is a town or something – for supplies. And obviously this impedes me from making said apology.
D'you think Barter is supposed to be a Lurker, or is he just some random other… thing.
…I have to kill a mutant monkey. Fantastic.
OKAY WAIT, WHAT THE HELL. SO. MUTANT EEL-THINGS. THEY ARE APPARENTLY REALLY HUGE. So when Daxter was turned into WHATEVER THAT THING IN THE SEWERS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT, he was apparently, like, three time's Jak's size, which, what. WHAAAAT. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON IN THIS GAME. (Also, I really don't understand why Dark Eco is suddenly making Daxter into DARK DAX OMG instead of just killing him outright or DARK MAKER-ing him up or something.
OHHHH, THE ORPHANS! Screw these orphans, oh, my gosh, if they really wanted to be saved, they wouldn't have let the developers put in such terrible fixed camera angles.
URGH FINALLY THAT STUPID MONKEY IS DEAD that whole thing was beyond stupid.
Okay, Barter, I was pretty annoyed with you for that whole stupid thing you just made me do, but having me start a bar fight afterwards is pretty awesome and I feel better about having my ass handed to me by those weird mutant things several times over now.
I'd probably feel the whole OH NO PEOPLE THINK KEIRA IS CAP'N PHOENIX'S (HE'S THE BEST) NEW GIRL thing more if I 'shipped Jak and Keira. Sorry, guys, I really do love you both, but I'm just not getting the romance angle.
… haha, what? I like how I do that ONE WHOLE THING of retrieving supplies (and taking out mutant eels and a mutant monkey and some mutant other things – and get taken out a few times by the last on that list) and Phoenix is all like OKAY HONORARY PIRATE, YOU CAN TOTALLY PILATE US WHEREVER YOU WANNA GO NOW IT'S ALL COOL.
Hey, there are skeletons all over the floor in this Aeropan … facility thing! Wait, where the hell am I? How have I forgotten this already? Falling down the hole distracted me. That is my only excuse.
Oh, look, it's the prison/ECO INFUSION CHAIR from the second game! Only we probably blew that up at some point (we blew up a lot of things, okay? You can't fault me for not remembering exactly what it all was. THE TOWER CAME DOWN, ANYWAY, and wasn't it in there?) and we're on the Brink and this is an Aeropan place. So obviously not the exact same one.
What?? Someone's been experimenting with Dark Eco, Jak?? OMG! You must be joking! (The dark eco mutant monsters didn't give it away…?)
Also, it's kind of weird for them to be calling everything by a normal name. Monkeys and armadillos! When, you know, it used to be combinations like… crocadogs.
… yeah, sure, I can totally buy that Daxter would just immediately assume that a panel with brightly coloured glowing buttons in the middle of some sort of eco lab would be a CANDY MACHINE. Christ, not another Dark Dax level. Also, why the heck aren't any of them the least bit concerned about this? (Aside from the shoddy characterization, I mean. Guys. Jak and Daxter are friends. Remember? Of course, Jak's apparently been replaced by his not-so-identical twin, so I guess it's not so strange that his personality went out for a stroll and got lost in the back alleys of Haven City. There are a hell of a lot of them, and if it forgot the map, it's probably going to be wandering for a good while…)
… omg. This plane is actually awesome. LOOK, IT MOVES AND MANEOUVERS!
Also, random aside, but, damn, this game is full of internet meme phrases (or slightly twisted ones). Barrel roll, apes on a crane…
Man, I miss being able to shove enemies off cliffs to their deaths. They can still knock me off! I can still walk off! But I can't use gravity (or pools of Dark Eco) to my advantage. Alas.
Whoops, wrong turn into a room full of guards. DIE FOR A CAUSE, says the poster on the wall. This one says "warrior".
Shit. Every guard in the world is behind this door I'm standing in front of. THIS WON'T END WELL. :D
Hm. So the crazy old amnesiac guy was a Dark Eco sage. SURE WHY NOT. OH NO HE MADE DARK WARRIORS.
OH NO IT WAS FOR PHOENIX FOR THE AEROPANS. (Well, his whole thing when we met him kind of already gave away that he knew about that crap, at least.)
OH NO JAK AGGRO – wait, no, crisis delayed. Keira wants us to listen to his explanation.
Blah, blah, blah, terrible war, they were losing… I'm with Daxter and his mocking hand gestures, here, Phoenix. We're not just heard this story before – we've played it!
Haha, what the hell? Skyheed (the guy in charge of Aeropa) has put Dark Eco into everyone in the city? Wooow. (Oh! Maybe that's why they all look a bit discoloured.) And the old guy is amnesiac because when Phoenix realized Dark Warriors = BAD IDEA, he kidnapped the head scientist, and the guy got knocked on the head in the process.
BUT ENOUGH EXPOSITION HOLD STILL I NEED TO SHOOT YOU, YOU EVIL THING, YOU! Keira says WAIT again and violence is again delayed.
OH, SHUT UP, UNNAMED OLD MAN, YOU CAN TOTALLY KILL YOUR WAY TO FORGIVENESS.
I LIKE HOW DAXTER TURNING INTO A GIANT, PURPLE, MONSTERTHING IS PLAYED FOR COMEDY. THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME GUYS. KEEP IT UP. I WILL KILL YOU ALL.
Jak, I swear to god it is like you have had a personality transplant. I am more and more amused by the fan commentaries I've seen that you're either drugged out of your mind or the unfortunate victim of a botched lobotomy. (… Some sort of brain trauma would explain why Jak is apparently no longer capable of swimming. Water is now DEATH.)
The sheer destructive force I wreck upon this vessel… Phoenix must be regretting ever letting us lunatics aboard by now… Yet he never says a word. (Unless my hyperactive flailings take me over to his side of the railing and I punch him in the gut, but that's still more of a grunt than a word.)
"STUFF FOR SALE! POORLY MAKE TRINKETS AND PILFERED BELONGINGS… AND ME UNDERPANTS. … (USED, THAT IS.)" Man, between that line, the cabbage obsession everyone here seems to have, and the fact that if I walk up to someone and punch them, they at least try to hit me back, I think Far Drop is probably the best area in this game.
What is with every NPC I ever have to compete against wanting to do terrible things to Daxter? Eating, turning into a fur coat… But, yay! More bar fights!
Also, some of these START A FIGHT mission descriptions are amazing.
"See those pirates over there? They called you a chicken. Nobody calls you a chicken. Go knock their teeth in. That'll show 'em."
"Those pirates made fun of your new jacket., so you're going to make orphans of their kids. Just don't let their grubby pirate hands touch you; a single hit will ruin your new threads and lose the fight." (So that's why they have so many orphans that need defending from mutant monkeys…)
So we've gone past the Brink and into some weird vortex-y thing… now we're being attacked by ghost pirates while music that reminds me a bit of the main theme from Pirates of the Caribbean plays…
Ha! One more hit and we'd've gone down in a messy explosion, but then the end appeared and we survived. Yay. x3
…"Becoming quite the treasure hunter"? Keira. What the hell have I been doing for the past… EVERY GAME IN THE SERIES? What is that, five?
OH NO IT'S THE BEHEMOTH (which is the big airship from Aeropa, by the way). AAAA SHOOT AT IT
Man, why am I the only one fighting against this giant freaking ship? PIRATES ARE LAME.
But I still won (and only died twice!), so, whatever.
OH WAIT IT'S NOT OVER YET now they're connected to our ship! QUICK GO ON DECK AND FIGHT THEM OFF! Or jump off the side! That is a perfectly understandable reaction in this situation.
Can I just add (again?) that the camera is evil and whoever thought these forced angles were going to be helpful is clearly some kind of colossal idiot?
The Eco Seeker is repaired and it poooooints…. Back to the research dig. Whee!
SO. We're to sneak in! Stealthily! So they don't ambush us!
This is apparently done by blowing up their launch bays and destroying their shield generators so that the shield protecting the dig is deactivated.
… and I'm sure if I just landed or if I crashed and the game counted it as landing. I'm pretty sure that was a fireball, but now we're all in the elevator. So. Uh.
Hello, Eco Core! At the center of the planet…? OR SOMETHING. It's unstable! And there's a prism in the middle that… divides eco into colours! …
BUT IT'S OKAY KEIRA CAN FIX IT. YAAAAAY ALL BETTER.
Uh oh, Klout and the unnamed pirates are marching in with Skyheed. TRAITORSSSS. Phoenix needs to GO, apparently. Which is too bad, because I'm liking him best out of all the characters, since he's the only one not suffering from massive characterization issues. Have I said that already? I've certainly thought it already.
Anyway, Skyheed's all doing the villain thing. KILL EVERYONE. Except that guy, I wanna study him – so, like, come on, join my side! Sir, Jak will eat your face before going along with that.
But instead of fighting, we run away. WITH THE ECO CORE? Oh. No. We just brought it to the surface. Oh, well. That would've been a good laugh, if we'd stolen it.
Anyway, I guess they've laid siege to Far Drop, so I suppose we'll be headed over there next. First more talking, though. As Jak and Phoenix bond over committing acts of violence.
(I am so bummed I know what'll happen in relation to a few specific things by the end of the game.)
Haaa, one of the Secrets is "Phoenix's Floatie"… Poor Phoenix, never learned to swim. But with this attractive life preserver, he's ready for anything. (Too bad Jak needs one, too, now, huh?)
Hmm. My weapon of choice uses the yellow eco, but they never give me that type of ammo. It's all the red and the blue. Even the green (and, by the way, wtf @ green eco weapon) sees more ammo than the yellow.
We just planted a bomb and forgot to think of a way off ahead of time. Business as usual!
Aaaand looks like we've got another fight with the Behemoth coming next. Eeew.
BEHOLD, THE POWER OF DARK
Oh, what would I be playing if I didn't encounter some strange glitch or another? I just flew into the Behemoth character model and got stuck there. Good job!
Ah, but that time I made it go away. Yaaay.
Now we're going back to the barracks again to look for a warp gate-thing that a mysterious someone just sent us a SUPER SECRET MESSAGE about. And also the passcode for it. Was Klout just pretending to sell us out to get in with Skyheed and Aeropa, or am I giving them all too much credit? It's probably someone else… Don't ask me who.
You know, I really just… do not at all understand why the barracks are flooded with Dark Eco. THIS REALLY CONFUSES ME. (Also, it confused me when, last time we were here, Daxter said he'd never seen so much Dark Eco before in his life! … Apparently we got a new Daxter at some point, or something, because there was plenty of the stuff in the earlier games – some more so than others, admittedly. But, I mean, geez, there was only an ENTIRE TANKER full of it – literally, after we flooded the thing – in the game named after him.)
So we walk in and tell everybody to get out aaand… Dax gets grabbed by a guard, then zapped with MOAR ECO and, okay, yeah, he apparently turns FREAKING MASSIVE, since he's now towering over the guard, and the guards tend to tower over Jak. Okay, then. SERIOUSLY, he's like, twice the size of that guy!
… Aaaaand Jak thinks Daxter turning into a horrible Dark Eco monster is funny! Let's make some jokes about it! ……. Um. Yeah, actually, I'm kind of. Not having words for this anymore.
While we're here, the first time I was set in control of Daxter (proper-Daxter, not Hulking Purple Daxter) – I didn't mention either of them, it looks like, actually, so, okay – at two points earlier, Jak used his Eco Shield ability on Daxter to send him down a … tunnel to "get help" (ie, trigger the walkway to fall in front of us so we could keep moving). And the first time it occurred, for a moment, I honestly thought he wanted Daxter to turn into HULK BEAST form and was absolutely horrified.
That is how wrong the characterization in this game is. I had no trouble whatsoever believing that they'd write in something like that.
(I mean, and here's the thing. Daxter has kind of joked about Jak's DARK ECO RAAAR form, but it still always felt like there was still the understanding that it sucked and was not really the best thing to have ever happened.
Honestly, it feels more like Daxter has been downgraded from Friend to Pet.)
Oh, sure, NOW you're all I GOTTA GO BACK FOR HIM (and Keira is still all EEEEW DARK ECO FREAKS. HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF! … she's not exactly like eeeew, by the way. She does say he can take care of himself, though, since he's, like, huge! Actually, the whole quote is, "He was like, huge! Daxter, or whatever he is, can take care of himself." So, you see? Not exactly like EEEEW DARK ECO FREAKS.
… BUT STILL PRETTY DAMNED CLOSE. :( Oh, Keira. I'd thought you were over that, at least a little.)
At least Daxter seems to approach the situation with something closer to what you'd expect. OH I'M FINE, JUST TURNING INTO A HORRIBLE MONSTER NOW, HOW ARE YOU?
Keira is so glad to have two monsters to worry about. (HIGH IMPACT GAMES, YOU HAVE BEEN READING TOO MUCH FANFICTION, HAVEN'T YOU.)
Meanwhile, Jak is just standing there with a dopy grin. Ugh.
Oh. I am back in Aeropa and it is ON FIRE. And suddenly full of more of those really, really terrible fixed camera angles. Yeah, no! Hey! It's not like I'd like to be able to look around and see what I need to head towards or anything!
The next PSP system (whatever it's called, which is not "the PSP2") will have twin joysticks. IT IS ABOUT TIME, SONY. Not that I plan on buying the new one, and not that it'd help with FIXED CAMERAS, but I really find myself missing being able to move the camera around however I want when there aren't TERRIBLE ANGLES being forced upon me.
Ah, apparently we are just going straight up. I'd STILL have liked to be able to look around and come to that conclusion on my own eventually, even if I did end up dying ONE MILLION TIMES before then! Blah blah blah, they changed it now it sucks, blah.
Okay, I've turned weapons back on (oh, yes, there was a "weapons lock" machine that I had to go destroy so the pirates could come in and murder). Now what?
Blah blah, some kind of dark eco [STATIC] near the palace… Ooh, new armor. Shiny. (HEEEY, WE'VE GOT PRECURSOR ARMOR AGAIN NOW.) Um. Anyway, unfortunately, I've no idea if I'm near the palace or not. But I'd guess that, yes. Yes, I am.
Heck, I'm probably climbing around the outside of it. Guys, that was, like. 6 hours ago (playtime-wise, anyway), and once. You can't really expect me to know where things are around here…! *whine whine*
Hallo, dark eco mutant boss. I wish I could tell when you were hitting me. … and that you hit for less than, what was that, like, half my HP? Cripes!
HEY. NO FAIR USING ECO SHIELD ABILITIES. :(
… it ran away! CHASE!
KILL!!!
Hm. This looks a lot like a ROOM BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE/S BEGIN. Must pick eco abilities carefully…
Aaand now Skyheed (who wants to RULE THE WORLD) is also in possession of a DARK ECO MONSTER AAAAA form. I guess the eco on the brink must be different from the eco they were using in Haven, to have so many successes. I mean, these guys grow huge, but retain some sense of coherency and can even have conversations! Damn, Jak, you really got the shit end of the deal.
Ah, Ruskin was the one sending us messages. (Ruskin is the one who said we could have the Eco Seeker for a week if we passed the Danger Course.) But now he's dead. FROM GRAVITY. Yeah, I've been there, too, man… :\
Heee, you can make him run into pillars and hurt himself. :3 That's fun.
… HAHAAA "What's he doing with that pla--- HOOOLY CRAP HE JUST PICKED UP THAT PLANE!"
Plane gun would probably hurt more if it weren't just pelting straight into another pillar... OH OKAY AND NOW HE'S FUCKING THROWING THE PLANE AT US JESUS CHRIST I don't think the pillar will hold up to that ABANDON BASE
… Oh. Pillar came out just fine. I like to think the plane still would have damaged me, though, because otherwise I just fled my sanctuary for nothing. :<
Ah. And then I can spin-kick the plane missiles back at him. Thank goodness this idiot is providing me with a way to destroy him (it seems I can't actually hurt him, myself. Though the gun or some eco abilities would probably work. – WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T SPIN-KICK MY WAY THROUGH THIS ONE? Oh, self).
HEY GAME! KNOW WHAT'S NOT AWESOME? SHITTY FIXED CAMERA ANGLES, SHODDY CONTROLS AND RESPONSE TIMES, AND MASSIVE POOLS OF DARK ECO IN THE PATH.
I didn't actually run into one, but it was close.
… And probably about to get closer! The camera insists on following Skyheed, so it's always swinging around and leaving me blind. THIS GAME. UGH!
BUT HAHA SO THERE I DIDN'T DIE AT ALL. You failed, game!
And then he runs away! In a plane.
JAK JUMPS AFTER IT! … It's a bit of a failure! Fortunately, Phoenix drops us a rope and we scurry back up to the Phantom Blade.
…So, like. Skyheed's ship can teleport. Cheap!
So, the dialogue lags in this game, too. I haven't mentioned it before, but I am getting a little tired of Daxter yelling at me to dodge out of the line of fire when nothing has been attacking me for well over a minute.
Keira: FOLLOW SKYHEED! COME DOCK ON THE PHANTOM BLADE!
… IT CAN'T BE BOTH, KEIRA. D:
The screen says to obey the latter, though, so off we go!
Man, you guys, Phoenix is so badass. Jak has to grab the wheel to steer this ship. Phoenix just needs to LOOK AT IT and it flies to wherever he so desires. (He's actually behind it for once, instead of standing of to the side to let me have control.)
Anyway, that was kind of a waste o time. I didn't even need to do anything on the ship, since Phoenix flew us after Skyheed with his mind. I docked, then turned around and went right back out. Didn't even need to leave the room / general vicinity of my aircraft!
Also, haha, most useless shield / cutscene ever. Next time, cutscene Jak landing and launching again! (We're up against the Behemoth again, only – oh no! – it has a shield! Except even before the fight starts, the Phantom Blade launches a missile salvo at it and the shield is knocked down.
OH NO he is drawing power from the Core and it could destroy the planet! Not that I can do much beyond continuing to shoot the targets, but, you know. Whee.
So, this is all going pretty well, except all of a sudden I am flying down some weird tunnel-thing and there are purple globes and they hurt when you run into them. FFFF. Whatever, they didn't restart me at the beginning of the boss fight and now my plane has full health.
Oh, okay. The corridor-things occur when I blow up one of these crystals. That didn't happen before! Anyway, they'd be easier if I could tell where the edges of the thing were. Ugh. Trippy.
AND THEN MY PLANE RANDOMLY EXPLODES nyooo :<
OH WOW! Okay, at the beginning of the fight, Keira said she'd be out with the Hellcat if she … something something? I figured, meh, no, she won't, only she did just come out of nowhere to catch us before we dropped into the water below. Which, you know, since Jak has forgotten how to swim in this game, is a good thing.
Ha – if Phoenix doesn't show me up, who will? Though, sad. He's running the Phantom Blade into the energy stream between the Behemoth and the Eco Core and BOOM EXPLOSIONS and now he is dead. :< :< :<
(I'd been spoiled for his death, so, alas, there will be no AAAUGH WTF NOOO flailing from me.) (But I am still bummed, because he was easily the best character in this game.)
(New personal canon: he totally survives somehow. Shut up.)
AAUGH NO okay so the laser beam weapon is pretty cool, but I really liked having two different weapons so I could fire the lock-ons at one target and pick of other things with the gun. Whatever, the crystals are destroyed, regardless. I WIN, YAY.
… that was kind of embarrassingly easy for a final boss. :\
Soo all the dark eco floods into the core and then it starts shining and ringing and I SWEAR TO GOD that was the first few notes of the Final Fantasy theme what the hell ANYWAY.
Yaaay, the world is going back to being stable.
And now Keira is channeling Eco and Daxter is proud of being a massive monster.
The old guy's name is Tym, apparently.
NEXT ADVENTURE: GOING OUT OVER THE BRINK since there was a big energy line going out over it.
More hilarious moments of dialogue-lag fail. Jak and Keira start making out while Keira is telling Daxter that he's out-voted and they're all going on a new adventure. WHAT IS SHE SPEAKING OUT OF?
I wonder what happened to Tess?
Random Jak X plug over the credits… o.O; Daxter is listing things he's going to bring, and one of them was the Precursor gaming system. And the racing game, Jak X!
That's a little too meta, even for me. XD
Hm. You know, I do wish I'd known we wouldn't return to Aeropa again. I'd have explored a whole lot more.
OKAY, SO. THIS GAME. Final thoughts!
Also, I don't really like whoever they had doing Jak's voice in this game, but it's probably largely in part because I was used to the other guy.
Also Keira sounded a bit odd, but it was Tara Strong voicing her, so maybe it's just the PSP sound system? Or, considering I kept thinking she sounded too much like Sari from Transformers: Animated, maybe it's just my brain getting the better of me.
BASICALLY: fun to play, but try not to pay too much attention to the cutscenes. Also: very short. My play time is under 8 hours, and it's not like I was rushing through as fast as possible. I did most of the optional missions and explored as much as the game was willing to let me.
DEATH LIIIIIIST
Uber-Bot 888 (shockwave): 1
Uber-Bot 888 (falling logs): 1
Hellcat Crash: 3 (…+1?)
LAVA: 3
Whatever the hell those burrowing creatures are supposed to be: 2
Guards: 9
Dark Eco: 2
"Dark Creatures": 4
Falling… forever!: 17
Falling forever off the Phantom Blade: 1
Jak Has Forgotten How To Swim: 3
Fucking SPIDERS, man!: 2
Shot outta the sky: 3
Stuck inside the Behemoth and whittled to death: 1
Dark Eco Mutant Boss: 3
Wtf corridor-thing: 1
Daxter:
Falling… forever!: 1
Total: 57 (+1?)
My thumbs hurt.
...AND NOW BACK TO HELPING MY BROTHER WITH HIS HOMEWORK. Whee!