Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2009-07-12 12:11 am
jecca_mehlota) wrote2009-07-12 12:11 am
Entry tags:
Since Monday...
I have continued to be ill!
I have left the building twice since Monday. How awful is that? After visiting the health center and then picking up my eye meds, I went back to bed and forgot to get up until Friday, at which point I decided I had probably ought to get outside before I became too adjusted to my life of darkness. I went all of one block to the post office, then promptly turned around and went straight back home, because my energy was spent. (Outside it was big! There were colors. I was a tad overwhelmed.)
It wasn't entirely a wasted effort, though! I had four - four! - bits of mail! Two from the health insurance people (apparently they needed a second letter to inform me I was denied Medicaid. Well, I should hope I was denied Medicaid! Though, to be honest, I wasn't aware I'd tried to apply for it), one with the happy news that they'll be sending me a bill and that I'll not be, you know, hopelessly unsupported in my disease-ridden life. (Just mostly unsupported.) The other two things were from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thebaconfat, and both have made me quite gleeful, though I've only been able to do much of anything with the CD, on account of having no energy or willpower to do much of anything else beyond sit in bed and stare blankly at the opposite wall and try to keep my lungs lodged inside my chest where they belong. Bwee!
Seriously, about all I've done is ... venture into the kitchen to stare listlessly at the contents of the fridge and glower at the spider colonies. I also moved my laptop over to near my bed (using my desk chair as a table), but it's mostly only served as a music player, because e-mail and browsing was usually too much work. Occasionally I sought out fanfic sites. Mostly I sat around being bored, but not having energy to do anything about it. (Really, the worst part of the day is waking up, because, while my left eye has mostly recovered, the right eye is still kinda gross, so it's all gunked up every morning, and I spend forty minutes standing in the bathroom choking up mucus and rinsing out my mouth. After that and the first round of eye drops, I actually usually end up crawling back under the covers for another few hours, but the second waking is usually much easier.)
Then Mom came out this afternoon for some of the quadricentennial lake celebration stuff going on, and I managed to walk around for a whole two hours before collapsing, and then she took me out for Thai, which was nice. We were going to watch the parade, but I was tired and it was storming rather hard, so. Dinner. It occurred to me at some point last night that, aside from the occasional bowl of soup (and cough syrup and throat drops, not that those really count), I've pretty much not eaten anything for over a week now, which is probably contributing a bit to the exhaustion, but I've had no appetite at all. Man, speaking of soup, I opened one of the cans of instant stuff my mother had thoughtfully supplied me with and it smelled horribly of catfood. Apparently that is what super-processed chicken comes out smelling as? I don't know. I couldn't eat it. And the smell got stuck in my nose, so I was smelling it all day. Massaman curry and chive dumplings, on the other hand, both smell and taste delicious, so that was nice to cleanse the catfood out with.
I'm feeling a bit more alive now, obviously, so hopefully this means I'm recovering and not that this is the eye of the storm or some sort of last hurrah that ends in me falling over and dying or going into a coma or whatever. That'd be annoying. And I told the people that I'd be ready to get back on the boat come Monday morning. Obligations!
Having an unscheduled (no, really, I can almost set my watch by them) but severe bout of hating my own writing (to the point of wanting to lock down or delete entries containing things. I won't, but the urge is there). Maybe it's just another symptom of whatever I've got. I'm hoping that acknowledging it will be enough to make it go away again. I'm also hoping to come out with my resolve to write something back up. Some inspiration'd be nice, too, while we're imagining impossible things.
My current plan is to use tomorrow to catch up on some of what I've missed in the last almost-two-weeks, so hopefully I'm still feeling alive enough come morning. If not, then, well, too bad for me, I guess.
I have left the building twice since Monday. How awful is that? After visiting the health center and then picking up my eye meds, I went back to bed and forgot to get up until Friday, at which point I decided I had probably ought to get outside before I became too adjusted to my life of darkness. I went all of one block to the post office, then promptly turned around and went straight back home, because my energy was spent. (Outside it was big! There were colors. I was a tad overwhelmed.)
It wasn't entirely a wasted effort, though! I had four - four! - bits of mail! Two from the health insurance people (apparently they needed a second letter to inform me I was denied Medicaid. Well, I should hope I was denied Medicaid! Though, to be honest, I wasn't aware I'd tried to apply for it), one with the happy news that they'll be sending me a bill and that I'll not be, you know, hopelessly unsupported in my disease-ridden life. (Just mostly unsupported.) The other two things were from
thebaconfat, and both have made me quite gleeful, though I've only been able to do much of anything with the CD, on account of having no energy or willpower to do much of anything else beyond sit in bed and stare blankly at the opposite wall and try to keep my lungs lodged inside my chest where they belong. Bwee!Seriously, about all I've done is ... venture into the kitchen to stare listlessly at the contents of the fridge and glower at the spider colonies. I also moved my laptop over to near my bed (using my desk chair as a table), but it's mostly only served as a music player, because e-mail and browsing was usually too much work. Occasionally I sought out fanfic sites. Mostly I sat around being bored, but not having energy to do anything about it. (Really, the worst part of the day is waking up, because, while my left eye has mostly recovered, the right eye is still kinda gross, so it's all gunked up every morning, and I spend forty minutes standing in the bathroom choking up mucus and rinsing out my mouth. After that and the first round of eye drops, I actually usually end up crawling back under the covers for another few hours, but the second waking is usually much easier.)
Then Mom came out this afternoon for some of the quadricentennial lake celebration stuff going on, and I managed to walk around for a whole two hours before collapsing, and then she took me out for Thai, which was nice. We were going to watch the parade, but I was tired and it was storming rather hard, so. Dinner. It occurred to me at some point last night that, aside from the occasional bowl of soup (and cough syrup and throat drops, not that those really count), I've pretty much not eaten anything for over a week now, which is probably contributing a bit to the exhaustion, but I've had no appetite at all. Man, speaking of soup, I opened one of the cans of instant stuff my mother had thoughtfully supplied me with and it smelled horribly of catfood. Apparently that is what super-processed chicken comes out smelling as? I don't know. I couldn't eat it. And the smell got stuck in my nose, so I was smelling it all day. Massaman curry and chive dumplings, on the other hand, both smell and taste delicious, so that was nice to cleanse the catfood out with.
I'm feeling a bit more alive now, obviously, so hopefully this means I'm recovering and not that this is the eye of the storm or some sort of last hurrah that ends in me falling over and dying or going into a coma or whatever. That'd be annoying. And I told the people that I'd be ready to get back on the boat come Monday morning. Obligations!
Having an unscheduled (no, really, I can almost set my watch by them) but severe bout of hating my own writing (to the point of wanting to lock down or delete entries containing things. I won't, but the urge is there). Maybe it's just another symptom of whatever I've got. I'm hoping that acknowledging it will be enough to make it go away again. I'm also hoping to come out with my resolve to write something back up. Some inspiration'd be nice, too, while we're imagining impossible things.
My current plan is to use tomorrow to catch up on some of what I've missed in the last almost-two-weeks, so hopefully I'm still feeling alive enough come morning. If not, then, well, too bad for me, I guess.
no subject
no subject