Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2012-01-22 10:25 pm
jecca_mehlota) wrote2012-01-22 10:25 pm
Entry tags:
and then
I am depressed today.
I do not know why. This was very abrupt. Stress from work + anxiety about coworker + general seasonal doldrums finally all catching up with me, I guess. I almost had a throwdown with the broom Friday night after it fell over from where I'd propped it, then I nearly burst into tears yesterday just from being so overwhelmed by everything I needed to do, and then I got into work this morning and --.... was like all the energy had just been drained out of me by the timeclock.
So now I'm parked in front of the heater eating ice cream and watching Let's Plays of terrible, terrible games, because it seems like it should amuse me, since I found this particular one funny before (Sonic 2006, if you're curious. I do not understand how this game exists).
I read the Dirge ofGerbils Cerberus earlier. I was only marginally surprised to discover that it really is as terrible as I'd remembered.
Anyway, work, I can't remember if I've said this and I can't be assed to check, but basically:
All three of my department's full-time employees are sick. Like, really sick, in two cases. They're all back at work as of today, but... one of them missed almost a week and is still experiencing vertigo and double vision (and she says she can feel fluid behind her ear), one of them (the assistant manager) is just... we... don't know, she went in for an inconclusive MRI, then a CAT, but they still don't know what's wrong, just that it's... something? Also her back is hurt and she can't lift more than five pounds (for the record, almost everything in the department weights more than that). And then our manager's been fighting off sickness for almost the entire month but has finally come down with strep.
And our 28-38 hour employee is fucking useless, complains all the time, is always saying horrible things about work, management, our other coworkers, customers... (We actually had customer file a written complaint about her attitude, and my manager's spoken to her several times, but nothing's helped. And her bitching and general negativity sort of trigger my own issues, so I've been having a lot of anxiety issues just over going to work on days when I know I have to work with her.)
And the other employees are too limited in both their availability and their knowledge, so I've been, on some days, the only one really working all afternoon and evening. And I don't mind that, hey, I know you can't help it once you're ill, but it's exhausting, and the department's always running behind, and the customers are always angry and demanding, and, just.
Can't deal with it.
I have tomorrow off. If they call me, I'm hitting Ignore.
On a maybe positive side, after weeks/months of everyone (save my parents) asking me if/when I wanted to get a new cat, I was basically handed one today. I couldn't say no. I don't have her yet, but this poor little cat, her current owners have been looking and looking for someone to take her, because she's just not adjusting at all to there being a second baby in the house (she did come to accept their first kid, but the second one... it's just not happening, and they can't deal with it any longer). And they were finally giving up. They'd called the humane society, but because the cat's exhibiting behavioural problems now as a result of her anxiety re:the children, they said they'd only take her to put her down.
So they were gonna have to do that. Now, they got this cat from my manager, so the owner's sister, a former employee, came to tell my manager the sad news. And then one of my other coworkers was listening to the conversation and was like, wait a minute, we can still save this cat.
So, uh. I guess I'll maybe be getting a new cat soon.
But that doesn't stop me from feeling exhausted, useless, and apathetic.
So, anyway, I hate winter and I hate my brain and I really shouldn't be eating this entire pint, and I should probably see about setting an appointment with my doctor to discuss possibly upping my dose, but that takes considerably more effort than I have energy for right now, so fuck it.
Also, I finally connected my PS3 to my Playstation Network account. I am JeccaAM there, if anyone else uses that and wants to add me. Maybe we could play co-op! (A friend and I were playing Borderlands last night, talking over Skype and destroying shit in-game. ...Well, she was destroying shit. I was just along for the ride, being just starting while she is level 50, and all. But it was a lot of fun, regardless. We were going to go again tonight, but, well. Rapid Onset Depression Issues. So instead you all get a pathetic journal entry.)
I do not know why. This was very abrupt. Stress from work + anxiety about coworker + general seasonal doldrums finally all catching up with me, I guess. I almost had a throwdown with the broom Friday night after it fell over from where I'd propped it, then I nearly burst into tears yesterday just from being so overwhelmed by everything I needed to do, and then I got into work this morning and --.... was like all the energy had just been drained out of me by the timeclock.
So now I'm parked in front of the heater eating ice cream and watching Let's Plays of terrible, terrible games, because it seems like it should amuse me, since I found this particular one funny before (Sonic 2006, if you're curious. I do not understand how this game exists).
I read the Dirge of
Anyway, work, I can't remember if I've said this and I can't be assed to check, but basically:
All three of my department's full-time employees are sick. Like, really sick, in two cases. They're all back at work as of today, but... one of them missed almost a week and is still experiencing vertigo and double vision (and she says she can feel fluid behind her ear), one of them (the assistant manager) is just... we... don't know, she went in for an inconclusive MRI, then a CAT, but they still don't know what's wrong, just that it's... something? Also her back is hurt and she can't lift more than five pounds (for the record, almost everything in the department weights more than that). And then our manager's been fighting off sickness for almost the entire month but has finally come down with strep.
And our 28-38 hour employee is fucking useless, complains all the time, is always saying horrible things about work, management, our other coworkers, customers... (We actually had customer file a written complaint about her attitude, and my manager's spoken to her several times, but nothing's helped. And her bitching and general negativity sort of trigger my own issues, so I've been having a lot of anxiety issues just over going to work on days when I know I have to work with her.)
And the other employees are too limited in both their availability and their knowledge, so I've been, on some days, the only one really working all afternoon and evening. And I don't mind that, hey, I know you can't help it once you're ill, but it's exhausting, and the department's always running behind, and the customers are always angry and demanding, and, just.
Can't deal with it.
I have tomorrow off. If they call me, I'm hitting Ignore.
On a maybe positive side, after weeks/months of everyone (save my parents) asking me if/when I wanted to get a new cat, I was basically handed one today. I couldn't say no. I don't have her yet, but this poor little cat, her current owners have been looking and looking for someone to take her, because she's just not adjusting at all to there being a second baby in the house (she did come to accept their first kid, but the second one... it's just not happening, and they can't deal with it any longer). And they were finally giving up. They'd called the humane society, but because the cat's exhibiting behavioural problems now as a result of her anxiety re:the children, they said they'd only take her to put her down.
So they were gonna have to do that. Now, they got this cat from my manager, so the owner's sister, a former employee, came to tell my manager the sad news. And then one of my other coworkers was listening to the conversation and was like, wait a minute, we can still save this cat.
So, uh. I guess I'll maybe be getting a new cat soon.
But that doesn't stop me from feeling exhausted, useless, and apathetic.
So, anyway, I hate winter and I hate my brain and I really shouldn't be eating this entire pint, and I should probably see about setting an appointment with my doctor to discuss possibly upping my dose, but that takes considerably more effort than I have energy for right now, so fuck it.
Also, I finally connected my PS3 to my Playstation Network account. I am JeccaAM there, if anyone else uses that and wants to add me. Maybe we could play co-op! (A friend and I were playing Borderlands last night, talking over Skype and destroying shit in-game. ...Well, she was destroying shit. I was just along for the ride, being just starting while she is level 50, and all. But it was a lot of fun, regardless. We were going to go again tonight, but, well. Rapid Onset Depression Issues. So instead you all get a pathetic journal entry.)