Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2010-11-23 12:08 am
jecca_mehlota) wrote2010-11-23 12:08 am
Entry tags:
Oh, Monday.
I didn't-sleep on the couch at my parents' for a few hours last night. Darn thing is uncomfortable, though, so mostly I went to bed around... what was it, midnight? And tossed and turned fitfully for a bit, sat back up and read for a while, and then tried to rest again until my father came downstairs at 3:30, and then I got up and drove my parents and brother to the airport. Then I drove myself home and tried to sleep in my bed, but by that point I was wide awake, and the cat knew it, so he kept dancing on my head. Ugh.
Also, Hellweek is going about as I'd expected, just in terms of DISASTER. Last year the oven was broken (and though I don't think the smoke-belching incident was around Thanksgiving, it wouldn't entirely surprise me). This year, the department manager is sick, so we're down one set of hands and a whole bunch of work hours, so I'm having to do a heck of a lot more than is generally considered reasonable. Tomorrow at least is a shorter day for me, which could be either a good thing or, if again I come in and nothing has been done yet, a very, very bad one. And then Wednesday I don't have to close, but I have to play with the TSA, which, uh, given a choice of the two, I'd take closing shop any day of the week...
Oh! It appears I am! What the heck, right? While I was home last night, my brother again started on about his idea for a sequel, and, okay, basically? While, sure, it has its problems, it is also kind of delightful and hilarious that we are, basically, discussing his very own fanfic idea. (Shh, don't tell him I called it that. And, really, he's not going to write anyway, it's just a fun way to pass the time.) And I never get to do that, with anyone, because no one is ever on AIM, or the people online aren't familiar enough the the fandoms I'm working with, or I don't know where they stand on certain, critical aspects and so don't want to bother them about it, or they just have no opinion on any of it/don't care. It is an unfulfilled desire of mine, story-scheming.
So I had a lot of fun talking about plot points and all with him, and figuring out details on How To Make It Work.
Anyway, I am thinking I need to finally replay Final Fantasy VII. I have this thought on other occasions. It's never gone anywhere. See, I played it through once, years ago. Played it through with a fine-toothed comb! I do not exactly know how I managed to retain so much of the game (inside out and backwards!), but I did. I did start a replay once – I even got a fair distance into it – hello, Mideel – but before I could get to the save point on the Highwind after that whole massive ordeal, my Playstation decided to reset itself (power flicker…) and I didn't have the time or inclination to sit through Sorting Cloud Out all over again so soon and… yeah, that was, um. At least seven years ago. Probably more. I don't exactly recall.
And yet even today, when people ask me something about VII – admittedly, this is not a common occurrence – I am generally able to provide an answer. It kind of confuses me. (Don't you have useful information you could be putting in there? It's like with draw points for magic in VIII, honestly, this is just ridiculous...)
Aaaand then I think of Crisis Core - and there's a whole section on this a bit lower - and get all distraught, but, uh, hey! VII barely touches on the details of that! And it's not like they make you fight the battle and then stare down the gun. (WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, SQUARE. YOU ARE ALL MONSTERS.)
(D'you know what one of my favourite memories of playing VII is? It is a strange thing to remember so fondly. It was not even me playing! I was watching my brother play – he was a bit ahead of me, so this was not exactly the best idea. He was supposed to be headed for the Temple of the Ancients (I didn't know that bit. I was only around Cosmo Canyon, probably not even quite there, if I remember right), but he'd taken a few detours exploring with the Tiny Bronco, forgotten his objective, and instead found his way to Bone Village and, after hearing all about the Lunar Harp, gone trying to find it. He'd eventually called me in to see if I could help him figure out where it was. OBVIOUSLY THIS ONLY ENDED IN FAILURE, since, y'know, you can't get the harp at that stage (honestly, I am a bit surprised they told him about it at all). So we got bored and he went back to the world map, opened the large view of it, and was like, well, okay, clearly that's not where I need to be. Hey! You! You occasionally have weird video game magic powers. Point on the map where I need to go!
And I pointed to the island that the temple was on.
Yeah. That was a weird day.)
(And then he got lost/stuck in the Temple for days and, last I checked, he still starts twitching if you play that song around him. AND THEN THE CITY OF THE ANCIENTS and then I suddenly stopped making any progress for a good couple months because, haha! Who needs to ever get off disc 1?! Haha?!? Because I was watching him play again when that one happened.)
… So, yeah, I think of all these things, and then I look at the pile of games I owe that I've never played through (oh god), and then I look at the pile of games I need to replay because I've forgotten half the story (oh god), and then I look at everything I have to get to that is non-video game related (AAAA), and I think, do I really have time to replay a game I haven't forgotten at all but just inexplicably miss playing sometimes? I beat that game into the ground, there is not anything new there for me to discover, and call me boring, but challenge play-throughs (don't use magic! Don't level! Don't [do some other thing]!) are not really something I have an interest in.
I don't know, this just happens sometimes. And not even with the other games. Maybe it's because VII is the first one I played or something.
Though apparently now I can't think, "man! Wouldn't it be fun to replay VII?" without my Brain supplying, "yeah! And before that, you could totally replay Crisis Core, and then it would be like, the whole story! And then maybe you could watch Advent Children and then play Dirge and -" about there, it gets distracted by something else, thankfully, because the only think to do after Dirge is to seek out fanfiction and the fandom is scary. (Final Fantasy VII remains the only fandom I have ever run screaming from so far. It took quite a while, but they finally got me. So now I only check out bits of the fandom that I see recommended.)
Anyway, the fic I linked to / mentioned in the last entry has eaten my brain or something (EPIC FIX-IT FIC THAT IS WELL-DONE AND IN CHARACTER AND and I don't know, but it delighted me and apparently was something that had been missing from my life), which is fine, that's happened before with other things, but the problem is that it is adding to that whole "you could replay Crisis Core!" thing my Brain is pulling, because, ooo, then I could match the parallels and diversions better and aww, Zack is adorable and I miss him!
Except, oh, except. Dearest Brain... Do you remember what playing Crisis Core did to me last time? Clearly not, if you're really suggesting this... Let's review, then:
Stress and anxiety. SO MUCH OF IT. From the moment I started the game! Because I knew the ending and I didn't want it. It started out fairly small, because, hey! There's still the entire game before I need to worry about that! But... as things progressed, it only got worse.
Then came Nibelheim! The mission announcement came and you damn near panicked and did absolutely everything you could to put off departure. Though, hey, at least after that whole incident was over, you were less anxious and more hopeless and resigned. Such a step up!
And how many times did it make you cry? Let's see, there was a bit of it in Modeoheim. You got all leaky-eyed immediately before finally departing for Nibelheim, and, oh, right, you had to pause the game during the final battle because you turned into a full-out bawling wreck for a solid twenty minutes the moment you tried to defend and counter-attack! And then you cried straight through the ending scenes and the credits! (And you keep admitting to this in the hopes that one day you'll feel slightly less embarrassed about it... hasn't worked so far, though, huh?)
... AND LOOK AT YOU YOU'RE TEARING UP NOW WHEN YOU'RE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. Seriously, Brain, come off it. We're not equipped to replay it yet.
AND YET the desire is still there. Hopefully it I just let it sit long enough, it will pass and I can go on with my life! (In the meanwhile, maybe this means that when I get bored of being ignored by the relatives on Thursday I can approach my brother and be all SO I HAVE AN IDEA FOR YOUR SEQUEL and maybe he will converse with me. Though that assumes that the relatives will be ignoring him, as well, which is unlikely.)
So basically it boils down to whether I can convince myself it's better to replay it and get it out of my system rather than work on something new and exciting, and then whether or not I have the willpower to actually start a new game (I see no point in restarting the Outside Mideel file, no. That's for a special occasion. I just haven't figured out what yet).
Or I could just write a really long, ridiculous LJ post about it! Whichever. (Seriously, self, come on. FFVII is so old news. No one caaaares.)
Edit:
Also this is totally random and mostly not related but I really miss the ridiculously stupid little things SE used to put in all over the place, like that play in the Gold Saucer, or the opera in VI. We don't see much of that anymore, it feels like. Maybe I'm just tired and losing my mind, though.
Also, Hellweek is going about as I'd expected, just in terms of DISASTER. Last year the oven was broken (and though I don't think the smoke-belching incident was around Thanksgiving, it wouldn't entirely surprise me). This year, the department manager is sick, so we're down one set of hands and a whole bunch of work hours, so I'm having to do a heck of a lot more than is generally considered reasonable. Tomorrow at least is a shorter day for me, which could be either a good thing or, if again I come in and nothing has been done yet, a very, very bad one. And then Wednesday I don't have to close, but I have to play with the TSA, which, uh, given a choice of the two, I'd take closing shop any day of the week...
Oh! It appears I am! What the heck, right? While I was home last night, my brother again started on about his idea for a sequel, and, okay, basically? While, sure, it has its problems, it is also kind of delightful and hilarious that we are, basically, discussing his very own fanfic idea. (Shh, don't tell him I called it that. And, really, he's not going to write anyway, it's just a fun way to pass the time.) And I never get to do that, with anyone, because no one is ever on AIM, or the people online aren't familiar enough the the fandoms I'm working with, or I don't know where they stand on certain, critical aspects and so don't want to bother them about it, or they just have no opinion on any of it/don't care. It is an unfulfilled desire of mine, story-scheming.
So I had a lot of fun talking about plot points and all with him, and figuring out details on How To Make It Work.
Anyway, I am thinking I need to finally replay Final Fantasy VII. I have this thought on other occasions. It's never gone anywhere. See, I played it through once, years ago. Played it through with a fine-toothed comb! I do not exactly know how I managed to retain so much of the game (inside out and backwards!), but I did. I did start a replay once – I even got a fair distance into it – hello, Mideel – but before I could get to the save point on the Highwind after that whole massive ordeal, my Playstation decided to reset itself (power flicker…) and I didn't have the time or inclination to sit through Sorting Cloud Out all over again so soon and… yeah, that was, um. At least seven years ago. Probably more. I don't exactly recall.
And yet even today, when people ask me something about VII – admittedly, this is not a common occurrence – I am generally able to provide an answer. It kind of confuses me. (Don't you have useful information you could be putting in there? It's like with draw points for magic in VIII, honestly, this is just ridiculous...)
Aaaand then I think of Crisis Core - and there's a whole section on this a bit lower - and get all distraught, but, uh, hey! VII barely touches on the details of that! And it's not like they make you fight the battle and then stare down the gun. (WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, SQUARE. YOU ARE ALL MONSTERS.)
(D'you know what one of my favourite memories of playing VII is? It is a strange thing to remember so fondly. It was not even me playing! I was watching my brother play – he was a bit ahead of me, so this was not exactly the best idea. He was supposed to be headed for the Temple of the Ancients (I didn't know that bit. I was only around Cosmo Canyon, probably not even quite there, if I remember right), but he'd taken a few detours exploring with the Tiny Bronco, forgotten his objective, and instead found his way to Bone Village and, after hearing all about the Lunar Harp, gone trying to find it. He'd eventually called me in to see if I could help him figure out where it was. OBVIOUSLY THIS ONLY ENDED IN FAILURE, since, y'know, you can't get the harp at that stage (honestly, I am a bit surprised they told him about it at all). So we got bored and he went back to the world map, opened the large view of it, and was like, well, okay, clearly that's not where I need to be. Hey! You! You occasionally have weird video game magic powers. Point on the map where I need to go!
And I pointed to the island that the temple was on.
Yeah. That was a weird day.)
(And then he got lost/stuck in the Temple for days and, last I checked, he still starts twitching if you play that song around him. AND THEN THE CITY OF THE ANCIENTS and then I suddenly stopped making any progress for a good couple months because, haha! Who needs to ever get off disc 1?! Haha?!? Because I was watching him play again when that one happened.)
… So, yeah, I think of all these things, and then I look at the pile of games I owe that I've never played through (oh god), and then I look at the pile of games I need to replay because I've forgotten half the story (oh god), and then I look at everything I have to get to that is non-video game related (AAAA), and I think, do I really have time to replay a game I haven't forgotten at all but just inexplicably miss playing sometimes? I beat that game into the ground, there is not anything new there for me to discover, and call me boring, but challenge play-throughs (don't use magic! Don't level! Don't [do some other thing]!) are not really something I have an interest in.
I don't know, this just happens sometimes. And not even with the other games. Maybe it's because VII is the first one I played or something.
Though apparently now I can't think, "man! Wouldn't it be fun to replay VII?" without my Brain supplying, "yeah! And before that, you could totally replay Crisis Core, and then it would be like, the whole story! And then maybe you could watch Advent Children and then play Dirge and -" about there, it gets distracted by something else, thankfully, because the only think to do after Dirge is to seek out fanfiction and the fandom is scary. (Final Fantasy VII remains the only fandom I have ever run screaming from so far. It took quite a while, but they finally got me. So now I only check out bits of the fandom that I see recommended.)
Anyway, the fic I linked to / mentioned in the last entry has eaten my brain or something (EPIC FIX-IT FIC THAT IS WELL-DONE AND IN CHARACTER AND and I don't know, but it delighted me and apparently was something that had been missing from my life), which is fine, that's happened before with other things, but the problem is that it is adding to that whole "you could replay Crisis Core!" thing my Brain is pulling, because, ooo, then I could match the parallels and diversions better and aww, Zack is adorable and I miss him!
Except, oh, except. Dearest Brain... Do you remember what playing Crisis Core did to me last time? Clearly not, if you're really suggesting this... Let's review, then:
Stress and anxiety. SO MUCH OF IT. From the moment I started the game! Because I knew the ending and I didn't want it. It started out fairly small, because, hey! There's still the entire game before I need to worry about that! But... as things progressed, it only got worse.
Then came Nibelheim! The mission announcement came and you damn near panicked and did absolutely everything you could to put off departure. Though, hey, at least after that whole incident was over, you were less anxious and more hopeless and resigned. Such a step up!
And how many times did it make you cry? Let's see, there was a bit of it in Modeoheim. You got all leaky-eyed immediately before finally departing for Nibelheim, and, oh, right, you had to pause the game during the final battle because you turned into a full-out bawling wreck for a solid twenty minutes the moment you tried to defend and counter-attack! And then you cried straight through the ending scenes and the credits! (And you keep admitting to this in the hopes that one day you'll feel slightly less embarrassed about it... hasn't worked so far, though, huh?)
... AND LOOK AT YOU YOU'RE TEARING UP NOW WHEN YOU'RE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. Seriously, Brain, come off it. We're not equipped to replay it yet.
AND YET the desire is still there. Hopefully it I just let it sit long enough, it will pass and I can go on with my life! (In the meanwhile, maybe this means that when I get bored of being ignored by the relatives on Thursday I can approach my brother and be all SO I HAVE AN IDEA FOR YOUR SEQUEL and maybe he will converse with me. Though that assumes that the relatives will be ignoring him, as well, which is unlikely.)
So basically it boils down to whether I can convince myself it's better to replay it and get it out of my system rather than work on something new and exciting, and then whether or not I have the willpower to actually start a new game (I see no point in restarting the Outside Mideel file, no. That's for a special occasion. I just haven't figured out what yet).
Or I could just write a really long, ridiculous LJ post about it! Whichever. (Seriously, self, come on. FFVII is so old news. No one caaaares.)
Edit:
Also this is totally random and mostly not related but I really miss the ridiculously stupid little things SE used to put in all over the place, like that play in the Gold Saucer, or the opera in VI. We don't see much of that anymore, it feels like. Maybe I'm just tired and losing my mind, though.