Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2009-09-13 12:06 am
jecca_mehlota) wrote2009-09-13 12:06 am
Entry tags:
LENGTH = EXTREME
I’ve been playing Dissidia: Final Fantasy. Rather than post after a session, I collected everything from the first “section” of the game. (Since some sessions were literally only one battle long, it seemed silly. And after I’d gone through a bunch of characters without posting anything, I figured, what the heck? And just kept going.)
SO. Dissidia. Really long opening/prologue/tutorial, if by really long we mean, longer than I anticipated.
My only real reaction so far is, to repeat what I sent to my brother: “omg zidane’s voice what the hell”. It is approximately nothing like I’d imagined. I say it’s not that good, but maybe it works and I was just caught completely off my guard by it.
The tutorial felt kinda weak, though, so I’m instead going to go a few rounds in the arcade-style combat to get a better handle on things. (The sad truth is, I am, in fact, terrible at fighting games.) I GET TO PICK A CHARACTER. I have chosen Cloud, because, I dunno, Crisis Core and I really do like Cloud. I’ll probably go through and try out everyone, just to see, but that is where I am starting! (I am to fight five random other people.)
And for some reason they are playing “One Winged Angel” I did choose Cloud, right? Yes, okay, there he is… I guess because the battlefield is the Northern Crater. Sephiroth’s lurking in the background? The choir didn’t get the message that he’s left?
Oh, and now it is Cloud versus CLOUD. Advent Children Cloud, who is… apparently not too bright, as he’s standing down on a lower platform casting Fire at… the wall, I suppose. Other Cloud, m’dear, your counterpart is up here.
Kefka is evasive, geez.
Now I have defeated everyone! Cloud won chocobo cologne! … of course he did. (Turns out everyone does, but considering the hair and all, it was funny.)
GOOD NEWS. Super Nova is YEARS shorter in this game! I mean, we’re talking a matter of seconds, here.
Squall and Tidus both sound a little weird. I’m not sure if it’s just the PSP’s speakers or what, though, because Tidus has his same voice actor and Squall has the guy from Kingdom Hearts II (which may be part of the problem, as I never got used to the voice change).
Ultimeciawants us to revere her is actually kind of really powerful, but she’s very slow, physically weak with seemingly low defense, and you kind of have to keep away from the other guy, because all of her attacks are spells / ranged.
She junctions Griever for her special attack, but it’s more of her weird fusion thing from the third part of the final battle. Only with Griever more as the head, instead of the body.
No attack, no defense, hyperactive PINK FURBALL. PIIIINK FUUURBAAAAAALL. Zidane, your voice is not growing on me, but at least you are fairly fun to play, when you are not getting your face pounded in. *pinwheels across the arena* He seems to play a bit like Squall, with a more “chain-attack things to death” approach then the “single powerful blow” attacks. Only with less defense. And less strength. Or maybe I just got unlucky with the random battles this time around.
… But, sorry Zidane, Kuja can fly. Kuja wins. Even if he is an idiot. Not sure I like Kuja’s voice, either, actually. Meh? And he’s another mage-type, but, you know… flying. I am easily swayed. Also, I like Kuja.
… Now, see, now we’re back in the crater, but there’s no ominous Latin singing.
TIDUS = AMAZING.
Nng. That’s not even half, but my thumbs hurt. That’s my biggest problem with the PSP. My fingers start to get sore.
So, story mode. Part I has a difficulty level of five stars. Hrm.
Oh. Cosmos, the head of Team Good Guys, has sent the ten characters to find the ten crystals. One per person. Convenient, no? So I guess each person has a storyline of them finding their designated crystal.
Garland babbles about something… The truth of the conflict? What, that order and chaos have to exist simultaneously? … That he’s rambling after being defeated? Of course, maybe not. Maybe it’s actually something.
SURE LET’S FIGHT SEPHIROTH THAT’S INTELLIGENT
FIRION YOU’RE KIND OF A MORON. SO ARE YOU, WARRIOR OF LIGHT, ALSO YOUR NAME IS STUPID.
I know, there are a lot of villains from a lot of Final Fantasy games, but Sephiroth is one of the ones that I actually take – well, not seriously, but… I can totally get behind the NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME except maybe Cloud thing they’ve established with him.
… Have you ever actually “defeated” him in Kingdom Hearts? It is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It took me so long to learn all of the attacks – and to learn how to survive them – and even then there was a fair measure of luck to it.
I always had a problem with the way they made is seem like Sora – this, what, fourteen year old? – actually beat him in the first game. Perhaps it was just a Sephiroth clone.
Anyway, so, in the second game, you fight and you fight and you fight and mostly you die and die and die and then die again and finally you get lucky and whittle his HP bars down to nothing and then… WHOO! I BEAT HIM! OMG! YAY! YAY! YA----- … >__>;
He dismisses you like you’re nothing, just brushes dust off his shoulder. It is hilarious. It is one of my favourite moments in video gaming.
There is a Moogle Mail thing. I AM ASKED A QUESTION ABOUT FRAN. I know the answer! Hooray, me. The Moogle says I must have been paying attention to Fran and, well, okay, yeah, she was one of the characters I found more interesting, the action in question was something the camera also focused on. So. The next question is from FFXI! It always makes me so happy when SE acknowledges XI! It is like the red-headed stepchild or something, I don’t know. No one ever talks about it. No one likes to notice it exists. FFXI, don’t feel bad. Your fanbase is loyal and loves you dearly.
… *adds Ultimecia to the List of Characters Whose Names I Mispronounce*
I wish they’d inkluded her ridikulous akcent. JUST HARSH ON THE HARD C / K SOUNDS! Her voice itself is… close, but not quite how I’d thought of it. I think I imagined it a little deeper or something.
RANDOM ENCOUNTER. Warrior of Light: “SQUALL?! YOU TRAVEL ALONE?!” (er, said in a more reasonable manner, obviously, but)
why are you surprised i don’t even
I mean, dude, you’re traveling alone, as well.
Man, some of these bosses are so much higher level than me. Ugh. Throwing the pathetic level 11 up against the level 19 or higher. Without even letting me heal! Unfair. (They trap you into battles sometimes. There’s probably a rule to it, I haven’t worked it out yet. Chaining’ll do it, but I’m not sure on all of them. I got stuck in a battle once with 79 HP but I walked away unscathed, which was pretty cool, considering the enemy was a level higher than me.) (Ah! Pink/red ones aggro. And fighting their neighbor makes them aggro.)
… The Moogle didn’t particularly care that I knew anything about FFXI… Bah! Anyway. Today’s question was FFIX related, the coins stuff. Gemini. I am not so sure on my IX trivia (VII and VIII I think I know backwards and forwards, and I’m very confident in my knowledge of some of the other games, as well, but IX is on the replay list for a reason), but I made what felt like the best guess.
Warrior of Light, your name is too long and silly. From now on, I am abbreviating it as WoL. Which isn’t much better, really, but it’s easier and faster to type. Anyway, he’s kind of bland. Which isn’t too surprising, I guess, given what little I know of the first game (I haven’t played it yet).
I actually had to leave the fight with the Emperor earlier, because I was too low level. He’s still higher level than I am, but this went so much smoother, it was worth it. Two levels can make a world of a difference. Everyone’s going on about the truth. If you think it will deter me so much, you could just tell me, yeah?
But of course they will not. CHASING GARLAND. TELL MEEEE. And also stop disappearing. It’ll stop having any sort of dramatic impact (we’re pretending it had any in the first place) if you abuse it so.
Ah, good, I got the FFIX question correct.
Anyway, I caught Garland. Hey, look, I already said it was an eternal conflict. This isn’t news. Even if WoL (and probably everyone else) hadn’t figured it out. I PITY YOOOOU. AND I WILL OVERCOME IT. BECAUSE. SO THERE. You are such a do-gooder, it is kind of adorable and kind of irritating all at once.
AND NOW EVERYONE MAGICALLY HAS THEIR CRYSTAL zidane please stop talking AND WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO COSMOS YAY
SHANTOTTO! With her inexplicably British accent! You are a Tarutaru they do not strike me as particularly British but what the hell I’m not going to argue with you you would kill me. Or send me on another stupid mission to the arctic or something. Shantotto, please do not hurt me. (Well, there is a French Tarutaru, so why not. I just like her Japanese voice better, is part of the problem.)
Funny, I kinda figured I would actually have to go get everyone’s crystal before they let me progress…? WAIT DOES THIS MEAN NOW I CAN’T? Squeenix, I will cry if I just played through an entire section as WoL FOR NO REASON AT ALL. (Seems I didn’t. Yay!)
Haha, Squall, we see you there in the corner.
LOOK COSMOS, WE HAS SHINIES.
Too bad, we die, anyway? Wait, is she evil? That would be kind of awesome. UNLIKELY. But AWESOME.
(At this point I decided to make a list of the names of the manikins to figure out which one was representing which character. RANDOM LIST ENSUES. I had II and V backwards for a short while somehow.)
False Stalwart: Garland
Imitation Despot: Emperor
Counterfeit Wraith: Cloud of Darkness
Delusory Warlock: Golbez
Fallacious Tree: Exdeath
Phantasmal Harlequin: Kefka
Imaginary Champion: Sephiroth
Transient Witch: Ultimecia
Capricious Reaper: Kuja
Ephemeral Phantom: Jecht
False Hero: Warrior of Light
Imitation Liegeman: Firion
Counterfeit Youth: Onion Knight
Delusory Knight: Cecil
Fallacious Wanderer: Bartz
Phantasmal Girl: Terra
Imaginary Soldier: Cloud
Transient Lion: Squall
Capricious Thief: Zidane
Ephemeral Vision: Tidus
“The Unending Dream” at least sounds like it would be a better title for Tidus’ scenario, just saying. Though Tidus is here, for now, at least. And he wants to know everything. Because… he’s Tidus.
STOP PRONOUNCING IT TEEDUS. AGSDHFUIJE I DON’T CARE IF THAT’S THE “RIGHT” WAY.
Firion, this is your scenario, but Tidus is being much more interesting. Work on that. As revenge for that statement or to show me the error of my ways something, the first monster was a false Tidus.
Wild rose, wild rose, wild rooooose.
It is bonus day, so I am tempted to skip ahead to one of the characters I am more eager to play as. I like Firion just fine, don’t get me wrong, but…
I SAID STOP PRONOUNCING IT LIKE THAT.
Now Tidus runs away. And the Emperor pops outta… wherever to … be evil at me. Blah, blah, futility, fighting forever… blah.
Look, okay, DUH, Firion, okay? I had this figured out long before anyone told me anything. They’ve playing it up quite a lot, but, I mean… just. Geez.
…BAH.
SQUALL.
‘Cause his difficulty is higher than Cloud’s. (Cloud has one star.)
Man, the narration voiceover kinda sucks. Just saying. I ‘just say’ a lot with this game, don’t I.
Squall, you really didn’t need to save Zidane. It would have been oka—haha, oh, Squall. WHY DO THEY WANT ME TO TAG ALONG LEAVE ME ALONE.
OH GOD WHAT IS THAT IS IT HIDEOUS AND oh wait. Bartz has given us a “nasty looking” feather. Squall, you dork, be nice. (No, of course I don’t actually expect you to be any different, but I feel obligated to say it.) Now he has something to obsess over. FEATHER. WHY ARE YOU HERE. HMMMM.
ALSO I’VE BEEN MISPRONOUNCING ZIDANE AS WELL. GEEZ. It’s a soft “a” sound. Zidahn.
… Did you really just quote Ultimecia? Swarming like locusts!! But not across generations, I guess. Which is good. If you start talking all time-weird, something’s probably gone backwards.
… Did I really just gain four levels on the first map? Dang. I want bonus day more often…
FEATHERRRRRR. Are you accusing me of wanting to go with them? STOP POKING HIM, COSMOS, IT’S NOT NICE. Now he’s gonna dwell on it. …Ah, okay, that makes more sense. HI ULTIMECIA I thought it was a bit strange that Cosmos would drop in so early and say some of that.
Shiva just totally saved my life by setting the manikin’s Bravery to 0 mid-attack. YAY NO HIT POINTS (well, nearly none). (Of course I put Shiva on Squall. THAT IS JUST HOW THINGS GO IN MY BRAIN. Thank goodness I hung around Firion long enough to pick her up. Happy chance!)
Kuja and Kefka PLOT TO CAPTURE ME.
Haha, Squall. WELL OKAY MAYBE THE GOOD-LUCK CHARM ISN’T TOTALLY STUPID okay maybe it isn’t so bad at all okay maybe I kind of like having it with me…
Aaaaand bonus day is over now. Wish I’d remembered it was Thursday earlier.
Well, the solitude is working well enough so far, anyway. LESS PEOPLE = LESS PROBLEMS FOR SQUALL. Even if it does still make him angst but shhh that’s a secret. Kuja is confused by Squall refusing his offer of being made into bait. Or perhaps by Squall assuming he has a choice. Either way.
NICE RECOVERY, KUJA. Of course you are only leaving because Zidane would never come to rescue a weirdo like Squall. (NO ONE BELIEVES YOU.)
Really, it’s a good thing Zidane and Bartz are both all friendly-happy types. Imagine how Squall’s feeble little heart would break if he met up with them again (as it seems inevitable that he will) and they were like, ‘dude, get lost.’ But… but, feather… ;o;?
Squall’s maps are kind of like mazes. You have to kill some enemies to make the proper ones spawn, and since you have limited moves, it's always like, MAN, I hope this spawns the right one instead of an ether or nothing or something… Also the last piece that unlocks the boss is always a Transient Witch (fake Ultimecia). I wonder if that’s true for the others, that the last one is their enemy. I didn’t notice it with WoL, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.
Hey, I remember this encounter. Hi, WoL. SQUALL CALLS HIM ON HIS OWN SOLO ACT. Haha, good! I’m glad.
… But, no, Squall, you don’t need to threaten him. He’s your ally, even if he’s not your buddy. Put the gunblade down. I said put -
Or don’t. Fine. Kill each other.
But, seriously, WoL, I completed your scenario. Why do you have to come be ALL THAT IS GOOD AND TRUE everywhere else, as well? I’m sorry, it’s just, you’re kind of… boring. Is all. (It is okay, by the way. Squall – and everyone else who isn’t a people-person – gets that a lot.) (FEATHERRRR. It is his bestest friend. (It never tries to engage him in conversation.))
Ultimecia, I… think you are confused. I mean, yeah, but still no. You correctly see what is going on (not that that’s hard), but then you misinterpret it.
Aw, don’t be sad. Apparently when you get your head torn off by someone who’s upped their Bravery into the three-thousands, one of Squall’s I LOST NOOO lines is, “I can’t even save myself. QQ”
Well, the QQ isn’t literally there. It’s implied in the voice, though.
(A more amusing one is, “I was defeated by boredom…”)
ARGH MORE ENEMIES. JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE…!
Man, it sort of sounded like they were trying for the C= K! thing for a moment, there, but, alas, no.
Two on one? Hell, why not? I know you wouldn’t dare shake up the ONE ON ONE thing, but it might be interesting if you did.
Or not. GO AWAY MONKEY WITH AN ANNOYING VOICE. I COULD TOTALLY TAKE THEM BOTH. Also, I’m sorry, Zidane, but I really don’t like your voice. I am slowly getting used to it, but we are not even close to being there yet.
That, Squall, is because there is not bigger trouble than him. … Wait, not by Kuja, I hope. Bartz, that’s really embarrassing, if so.
… God, Zidane is short. Sometimes you notice it more. Like when he’s standing next to anyone who is a more normal height.
Wait why are we back with Firion AND ZIDANE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. Or at least shut up. (Tidus is sad you’ll tell Zidane about wild roses and not him, by the way. LOOK AT HIM. HE IS WEEPING. … ON THE INSIDE. Maybe.)
We get to watch Cosmos curl into a ball and die every time we defeat a scenario? I appreciate the thought, Square, but it’s not entirely necessary. Just the once would have been fine, I promise you.
Hey, I unlocked the museum! AWESOME!
Aaaaanyway, I guess I’ll go finish Firion before calling it a night. I was over half finished with it, anyway. 3 out of 5.
Back to the flower / metaphor stuff.
… I really shouldn’t have jumped to Squall. HE CAN ACTUALLY ATTACK. AUGH FIRION YOU ARE SO. SLOW.
Oh, hey, hi, Cloud! And again to you, Tidus.
Everyone goes alone. I am pretty sure I will never fight alongside anyone this entire game.
Cloud and Tidus hang out together because they don’t feel SHORTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE around each other. That is my theory. Though Zidane and Onion Knight are shorter. Whatever.
I’m a tool? You’re a tool! /lame insult
DISCORD IN THE CHAOS TEAM. .. Gosh. Who’d’a thunk.
Game, I really meant it. You don’t need to show me this scene every single time.
ONION KNIGHT. HI. …Another character without what I’d call a proper name. I could call him OK! But I will not. Probably. Difficulty level four. Not as hard as WoL, but harder than Firion and Squall.
Wait, what was Firion? I don’t actually remember. Pretty sure it wasn’t four.
Of course crystals have the power to break despair! You would be amazed at what SHINY THINGS can do. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. Shouldn’t you know that already?
Also, hello, Terra, too, I think this is the first time you’ve dropped in? And I hope you play better than you fight as a manikin, because your fakes are kind of pathetic, and I’m really not looking forward to playing as you if they’re an accurate reflection.
I dunno, do gods always sound pretentious? I’m not really that well-acquainted with any… I guess you guys would know better than me.
FFIII is one of the ones I haven’t played (or even started) yet, but I think I like this kid. The descriptions make him sound really arrogant, but he isn’t acting offensively so (yet). Or possibly I am just willfully misinterpreting his comments. I mean, he is an overconfident idiot, but he is not aggressively annoying in the process. … Yet.
The final manikin is always the Cloud of Darkness, so I may have just not noticed with WoL. And Firion... I forgot to check with the last two levels with Firion. Oops.
Aw, come on! LET’S GO RUSHING INTO DANGER. Yay, danger! Terra, you’re coming across as kind of pathetic. I don’t remember you being pathetic?!
Oooh, Phoenix summon.
Whu… Who is that? … I should know, but I can’t think of it for some reason. It’s not like the character list is that long. Bah! … Ah. I guess the point of this was to show that OK (I lied) can trick his way out of a conflict or something. And to accuse him of having no valor. THE HORROR.
And now we kill our allies again. At least it’s for a slightly more legitimate reason this time YES I AM LOOKING AT YOU SQUALL
And then Terra … imploded or something, I dunno. Teleported. Disappeared. Not here, whatever is was. Guilt-tripping time!
And here he is again. Or, wait. Is it the same guy? One of them is Exdeath and one of them is Golbez, and I can’t remember which color the first guy was… Anyway, maybe hello again, Golbez, and maybe hello for the first time. I am almost sure they were both Golbez, but for some reason I am totally blanking.
… There is some seriously flawed logic in there, kid, but, hey, all right. whoo, crystal.
Firion was two stars, by the way. CECIL HAS ONLY ONE.
Firion, Tidus is always impatient. He is not “getting” anything. Well, maybe louder.
OKAY I LIKE CECIL HE CAN STAY. Yay, effective fighters! You make me so happy.
I dunno, it is, of course, always possible that I just don’t know how to work with the ones I think are “bad” fighters.
Aw, Tidus. You’re adorable. Never stop being so… Tidusy. “Well, it’s what you wanna do, right? So just go do it!” I want to squish him.
They all talk about going to find the others… I can’t imagine that’s easy, in the apparent madhouse that is what’s left of whatever reality they’re stuck in.
Haha, folderol. AWESOME choice of words, Golbez!
Tidus, I’m sorry, Cloud and Squall don’t care about your story. It’s not you. Or it mostly isn’t you. That’s just who they are. Hurry and catch up now.
LITTLE PAWNS WATCH COSMOS GO ‘SPLODEY ONE MORE TIME. Curse you, self, for refusing to ever skip cutscenes. Though there is no rule about putting the PSP down and/or wandering off.
Yay, I am half-completed with the Destiny Odyssey segment.
NEXT IS BARTZ EVERYONE SAY HELLO. He is the other four-star level.
Ah, we pick up Bartz where Squall left off. I guess perhaps it is good I jumped ahead, then (dude, seriously. Lucky!). OH NO BARTZ HAS BEEN CAUGHT IN A TRAP.
PRESUMABLY BY KUJA GOD THAT IS EMBARRASSING.
Oh, by Kefka. That’s not as bad. (Kuja’s trapping attempts looked fun! Now Kuja is annoyed.)
And now references to the Onion Knight’s path.
Curiosity for the win! … The Emperor is trying to recruit Sephiroth. MY PREDICTION: yeah, right. Oh, Ultimecia’s there, too. Either way, the result is the same. (He – Sephiroth – doesn’t seem to be doing much. Why are you even here? Stupid question, of course. You’re just in it for the Cloud-poking I’m sure you’ll get to do.)
Hey, guys, Sephiroth wandered off while you were debating what to do about your eavesdropper.
'Must I slip away from even conversation?' YES. YES, I MUST. Heeheehee. I can’t believe you really had to ask.
SWEET COSMOS, IT’S A TALKING ROCK. But it is not any rock, it is Leviathan, hooray. Though I am probably not going to ditch Bahamut. Bahamut! So awesome.
Yaaaay, we found people. (Er, who don’t want to beat me up.) And now we lost person. Gosh, the crystal was a fake. I am so surprised. … BYE, ZIDANE.
And this time Kuja did trick you and OOH I HOPE THAT ONE BURNS BECAUSE IT SHOULD. (I like Kuja, I really do, but I have an impossible time taking him seriously. The outfit is actually not the cause of this, but it really doesn’t help his case.)
I know, Squall, right? Like Zidane isn’t the master of cheap tricks. Can’t beat him at his own game. (Though, you know, bonus points for everyone in that whenever Squall attempts anything resembling not hiding in the corner leave me alone, they don’t all go WHY SQUALL HOW UNLIKE YOU!)
He’s angsting, Squall. Don’t you recognize it? Ahahar, it’s the feather of doom. I wonder how little sense this would make if I had not jumped ahead. Do they rearrange the order of cutscenes or something? I can’t believe they would, but… I wonder what all I have missed from other story lines.
Dang, I get he mimics, but seeing someone wielding what looks like the Buster sword and the revolver-style gunblade at the same time is kind of mind-boggling. More because of the Buster sword than the gunblade, but still.
OH NO I’M BEING THREATENED WITH HAVING TO WANDER like he hasn’t been referred to solely as THE WANDERER by the narration this entire time or something.
I’ve thought it several times when fighting against him, and fighting as him has not changed my mind. Bartz is seriously overpowered here.
Pfffaha, the feather turned into a crystal. No more good luck charm. NO MORE HANDING IT OFF TO EACH OTHER.
So I guess Zidane’s story will include escaping from Kuja. (Shaaaaaame.)
And now we move on to Terra. Who’s probably still hanging with the Onion Knight. Five stars!
OK’s been pulling the mute card, claims the narration. GUILT. ANGST. She doesn’t remember what happened in OK’s section. … Possibly for the best, that, but then I’ve no doubt it’ll come back and bite everyone. Kind of a no-winner, there.
Thankfully, Terra is not as hopeless to fight with as she is to fight against. I like Tornado a lot.
Here is Kefka to tell Terra that she kinda went all brainwashed evil for a bit. Oi, she didn’t beat him to a pulp! Augh, they both disappeared when OK challenged Kefka. All alone! PANIC ATTACK.
Initiating self-destruct… HI CLOUD wait, what do you mean what’s he doing here? Why wouldn’t Cloud be at the planet’s core? This seems perfectly natural to me.
Hm. He wants to kill me. Or beat sense into me. Or something. I’m trusting that you’re not just being randomly violent, here, Cloud. Don’t let me down.
Ah, good, he didn’t. oooh, give him a hug, he’s being emo. THAT WAS KINDA LIKE A VERBAL HUG? Cloud needs to know he is not useless and incapable of doing anything right! Good job, Terra!
Really, what is Cloud doing with Firion’s “dream”? Thank goodness he is next. Hopefully we get an answer to that. LOOK I CAN MAKE A ROSE APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE. Why?
And now more emo. Cloud, it gets better eventually, I promise.
See, Terra, I think the problem with asking Cloud to think about flowers and the like is, flowers probably remind him of Aeris/th, and that might make him be sad some more.
I think I could watch Kefka just… be himself for ages. FINGERS.
Cloud VERSUS Cloud … of Darkness.
“If you’d just let your powers take over and destroy your mind”… XD He is such a lunatic. I don’t think I’ve mentioned the *SPROING* sound effect he makes in battle. He has a *SPROING* sound effect as he hops around the battlefield. It is hilarious.
I know there is a weird, huge debate over who’s the bestest villain, Kefka or Sephiroth, and while I won’t deny that Kefka’s pretty messed up and did some evil things, he amuses me too much and fighting him isn’t really a big deal. Sephiroth is ridiculously overdone, but still, every time I’m dropped into a fight with him, I get a little nervous. He’s got nasty, nasty attacks. That he usually succeeds in thoroughly trouncing me a few (or more) times before I manage to take him out probably helps, too. Not that this “oh god gonna die” sensation stops me from poking fun at him. Nothing saves anyone from that.
Oh, that’s a pretty crystal. Red and black.
Revisiting Squall and WoL going at it now? WoL, that’s, like, all he does. I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here. (“Can you carve out your path – without the help of others?”)
AND BACK TO COSMOIHDUFRGJKLASMD. That is what I have to say about that.
CLOOOUD! IT IS TIME FOR CLOUD! ‘Nother easy one. Actually, all the harder ones are done. Zidane’s three, and Tidus is only two stars.
HI CLOUD. I AM EXCITED TO BE AT YOUR STORY CAN YOU TELL? :D :D
We are back with Firion and Cecil and Tidus again, by the way, if you can’t remember where he’s turned up before. If I’ve even mentioned it. I KNOW I MENTIONED HIM WHEN HE TURNED UP WITH TERRA I CAN SEE HIS NAME HIGHER UP ON THE PAGE.
SEPHIROTH: JUST ANOTHER SADIST WITH A GOD COMPLEX. (like THAT’S something special) And apparently he killed himself recently. …You’re kind of unnerving the other people on your team, there, buddy.
Mm, it’s nice to actually be able to HIT THINGS again. No offense, Terra. Things went surprisingly well with you, but I’m just not a very good mage-type.
Tidus and his little head-twitches just reminded me of Tidus-bird. IT REALLY IS FRIGHTENINGLY ACCURATE. I should go home and find it and get a picture or something.
You know you’re in trouble when everyone’s praising Cloud as having the most sense of all of the group. Cloud agrees that it is not sense he has.
...EVERYONE IS A CLOUD FANBOY.
Man, this is getting long. I hope I can post this whole section as one. I don’t want to have to go back and insert entry-breaks. YES I AM LAZY. SHUT UP. DON’T JUDGE ME.
Cloud, you can’t smile about anything these days. Seriously, someone give him a hug or fast-forward him to Advent Children or something, he needs it.
Am I going to fight Firion? … Seems so. WHOO BATTLE FOR THE HELL OF IT at least we’re not actually trying to kill each other this time.
Clooooud, stop being angsty, it makes me sad. YOU DESERVE BETTER. REALLY.
We’re kicking you out of the party, Cloud, Go away. Shoo. Shoo! Don’t come back until you’ve figured out why you’re fighting and what your dream is!
Sephiroth, you are such a … I don’t know. Stalker who wants the stalkee to stalk him. I don’t think there’s a word for that. Lunatic.
But there is where the rose came from, anyway. Seph (IF YOU DON’T WANT A STUPID NICKNAME THEN GET A SHORTER NAME OKAY) stole it from Firion and gave it to Cloud. … Flowers? For me? How sweet.
Damnit, there’s a seven level gap in my favor? How did I pull THAT one off? Nineteen levels over five maps? Wtf?
… oh. Calendar. I’m getting exp bonuses today.
He’s calling you pathetic, Cloud, are you gonna stand for that? And a puppet, but when isn’t he doing that? (It’s okay, we both know that – yeah, okay, wow, there, Seph. STALKER STALKER STALKER. SE is run by slashers, I swear to god. I am not a Cloud/Sephiroth ‘shipper, but honestly. It is not hard to see why it is so popular when the creators are doing things like this.)
oh look it is materia. No, Word, I really did mean “materia” back there. STOP CORRECTING ME. Of course Cloud’s crystal looks like materia.
NOT SQUALL TIME NOW BECAUSE WE ALREADY DID THAT. WOE. … we could do it agai—NO MOVING ON
ZIDANE.
Yes, narration, everyone is searching for their respective crystal. I’d rather picked up on that by now.
So this takes place after Squall’s, too, but apparently not after Bartz’s?
… deadly music, eh?
We open with Ultimecia taunting Kuja. Because it is so fun, and he makes it so easy. And then Zidane and Bartz decide to race to see who can find the crystal first, which was part of the whole thing in Bartz’s story.
And because Ultimecia called him names, Kuja’s feelings were hurt, and that is what made him decide to try and capture Zidane. … Sure! …They are idiot schemes, aren’t they, Garland? I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing that.
I would say, DAMNIT BARTZ STOP FALLING FOR FAKE CRYSTALS but chronologically your story hasn’t happened yet, has it... So I guess I should have said that, what, five, scenarios ago? Kefka accused Zidane of being too stupid to fall for a trap.
KUJA, EVERYONE MOCKS YOU. You aren’t intimidating. And also probably are having a bad hair day, let’s be honest.
Hi, Squall, I remember this. YES, HE IS AN IDIOT, ISNT’T HE? FINALLY, ZIDANE, WE AGREE ON SOMETHING.
Hey, so, the Magic Pot summon’s pretty awesome.
I’ve seen this already. Ah, okay, they cut it out early. Squall, everyone appears to be one of their targets.
Haha, how’s that? ‘WAIT I AM TRYING TO TALK TO YOU DON’T YOU WANT TO LISTEN AND POSSIBLY MOCK ME?’ ‘NAH I DON’T CARE LALALA SAVING BARTZ.’
Hey, I’ve seen this, already, too. HI AGAIN BARTZ WE ALL FOUND EACH OTHER WHOO. And now Zidane is going to touch the fake crystal and GO AWAY. And now I can say, mostly in context, DAMNIT BARTZ STOP FALLING FOR FAKE CRYSTALS. Yay!
Kujakujakujakujakuja HI
Aw, don’t worry, Zidane! They’ll be fine! Stop moping and get going.
No, he really doesn’t have friends, Zidane. He is so much better than everyone else. They are not worthy. Duh.
MONKEY VERSUS MONKEY. FIGHT
I know, it sucks, but you really can’t reason with him. He’s kind of… not quite right.
See, there’s just another reason why everyone thinks you’re weird, Sephiroth. They never have any idea what you’re talking about. (Admit it. You don’t either and just make things up as you go along.)
Only Tidus is left in this section of the story! Unless I want to shoot for 100% completion on each one. Which, right now? No. I really don’t.
Heh, Firion and Cecil are both so surprised that Tidus is apparently so eager to take Jecht out of the picture.
Tidus: *BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY*
Firion: … how. o_X;?
I think we just kicked Cecil out of the party, but they didn’t actually show it. They blanked the screen for a moment instead of replaying the scene.
In FFX, what button do you have to press in Tidus’ overdrive? Is it R1, or O, or something else? Because here I am prompted to hit O, but I keep wanting to pull R1…
Well, I suppose it’s just R, since there’s only one trigger on either side on a PSP.
Yeah, we definitely kicked Cecil out. Here is the scene with Firion going HEY WHERE IS HE. Only now I get to watch it instead of just giggle to myself as Tidus makes faces to himself.
Yeah, Tidus, you are good at laughing your way out of things. NEVER CHANGE. I think I have said that already.
FIRION SEES STRAIGHT THROUGH THE EXCUSES. And keeps asking if Tidus is okay with Jecht being on the opposing side. Tidus continues to insist he’s looking forward to beating him.
IT OCCURS TO ME THAT YOU CAN PROBABLY ACCURATELY GUESS FROM MY BURSTS OF EXTREME ENTHUSIASM THAT VII, VIII, and X ARE MY TOP FAVOURITES.
Whoops, we lost Firion. Or, uh. “Rosebud” now. There’s a nickname he’ll never live down. HI JECHT. Apparently Tidus fighting Jecht here is not productive to whatever the Emperor is up to. Heh, now he’s annoyed that Jecht is taking orders “like that.”
It feels like I’ve fought the Emperor a lot…
Jecht wants the world back the way it was or something.
Tidus is still describing his life to us, by the way. The other people have thoughts, but Tidus is running narration on it.
Ha! ‘Suddenly, he felt the urge to yell.’ TIDUS STARTS RUNNING! And then! “GAAAAAH!” Firion’s probably just like, wtf!? (Though he doesn't actually react, which makes it funnier.) Oh god I laughed.
Tidus won’t fight Jecht when he’s all beat up and mangled. Then he banishes himself from the party. I have to do it aloooone! Ooh, potion. Parting gift!
THIS IS MY STORY
You could make a drinking game with that phrase alone, I swear.
We use the potion on Jecht so we can fight him.
You know, I know their relationship isn’t entirely what one would call normal (or healthy), but I still really like how Tidus and Jecht interact. They really obviously care for each other, but they really cannot, don’t know how to, get along. But that was a really great conclusion.
Hrm. Squall and Tidus were the only two who didn’t get a visit from Cosmos. (Well, Squall was visited twice by Ultimecia pretending to be Cosmos, but that doesn’t count. Unless every appearance of Cosmos was really Ultimecia in disguise.)
CRAP NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WoL I DON’T WANT TO. I wanna hang out with the awesome people. Alas. Alas!
Anyway, that was Destiny Odyssey. NEXT.
THIS IS 18 PAGES. WHAAAAT.
edit:
oh thank goodness it fits
SO. Dissidia. Really long opening/prologue/tutorial, if by really long we mean, longer than I anticipated.
My only real reaction so far is, to repeat what I sent to my brother: “omg zidane’s voice what the hell”. It is approximately nothing like I’d imagined. I say it’s not that good, but maybe it works and I was just caught completely off my guard by it.
The tutorial felt kinda weak, though, so I’m instead going to go a few rounds in the arcade-style combat to get a better handle on things. (The sad truth is, I am, in fact, terrible at fighting games.) I GET TO PICK A CHARACTER. I have chosen Cloud, because, I dunno, Crisis Core and I really do like Cloud. I’ll probably go through and try out everyone, just to see, but that is where I am starting! (I am to fight five random other people.)
And for some reason they are playing “One Winged Angel” I did choose Cloud, right? Yes, okay, there he is… I guess because the battlefield is the Northern Crater. Sephiroth’s lurking in the background? The choir didn’t get the message that he’s left?
Oh, and now it is Cloud versus CLOUD. Advent Children Cloud, who is… apparently not too bright, as he’s standing down on a lower platform casting Fire at… the wall, I suppose. Other Cloud, m’dear, your counterpart is up here.
Kefka is evasive, geez.
Now I have defeated everyone! Cloud won chocobo cologne! … of course he did. (Turns out everyone does, but considering the hair and all, it was funny.)
GOOD NEWS. Super Nova is YEARS shorter in this game! I mean, we’re talking a matter of seconds, here.
Squall and Tidus both sound a little weird. I’m not sure if it’s just the PSP’s speakers or what, though, because Tidus has his same voice actor and Squall has the guy from Kingdom Hearts II (which may be part of the problem, as I never got used to the voice change).
Ultimecia
She junctions Griever for her special attack, but it’s more of her weird fusion thing from the third part of the final battle. Only with Griever more as the head, instead of the body.
No attack, no defense, hyperactive PINK FURBALL. PIIIINK FUUURBAAAAAALL. Zidane, your voice is not growing on me, but at least you are fairly fun to play, when you are not getting your face pounded in. *pinwheels across the arena* He seems to play a bit like Squall, with a more “chain-attack things to death” approach then the “single powerful blow” attacks. Only with less defense. And less strength. Or maybe I just got unlucky with the random battles this time around.
… But, sorry Zidane, Kuja can fly. Kuja wins. Even if he is an idiot. Not sure I like Kuja’s voice, either, actually. Meh? And he’s another mage-type, but, you know… flying. I am easily swayed. Also, I like Kuja.
… Now, see, now we’re back in the crater, but there’s no ominous Latin singing.
TIDUS = AMAZING.
Nng. That’s not even half, but my thumbs hurt. That’s my biggest problem with the PSP. My fingers start to get sore.
So, story mode. Part I has a difficulty level of five stars. Hrm.
Oh. Cosmos, the head of Team Good Guys, has sent the ten characters to find the ten crystals. One per person. Convenient, no? So I guess each person has a storyline of them finding their designated crystal.
Garland babbles about something… The truth of the conflict? What, that order and chaos have to exist simultaneously? … That he’s rambling after being defeated? Of course, maybe not. Maybe it’s actually something.
SURE LET’S FIGHT SEPHIROTH THAT’S INTELLIGENT
FIRION YOU’RE KIND OF A MORON. SO ARE YOU, WARRIOR OF LIGHT, ALSO YOUR NAME IS STUPID.
I know, there are a lot of villains from a lot of Final Fantasy games, but Sephiroth is one of the ones that I actually take – well, not seriously, but… I can totally get behind the NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME except maybe Cloud thing they’ve established with him.
… Have you ever actually “defeated” him in Kingdom Hearts? It is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It took me so long to learn all of the attacks – and to learn how to survive them – and even then there was a fair measure of luck to it.
I always had a problem with the way they made is seem like Sora – this, what, fourteen year old? – actually beat him in the first game. Perhaps it was just a Sephiroth clone.
Anyway, so, in the second game, you fight and you fight and you fight and mostly you die and die and die and then die again and finally you get lucky and whittle his HP bars down to nothing and then… WHOO! I BEAT HIM! OMG! YAY! YAY! YA----- … >__>;
He dismisses you like you’re nothing, just brushes dust off his shoulder. It is hilarious. It is one of my favourite moments in video gaming.
There is a Moogle Mail thing. I AM ASKED A QUESTION ABOUT FRAN. I know the answer! Hooray, me. The Moogle says I must have been paying attention to Fran and, well, okay, yeah, she was one of the characters I found more interesting, the action in question was something the camera also focused on. So. The next question is from FFXI! It always makes me so happy when SE acknowledges XI! It is like the red-headed stepchild or something, I don’t know. No one ever talks about it. No one likes to notice it exists. FFXI, don’t feel bad. Your fanbase is loyal and loves you dearly.
… *adds Ultimecia to the List of Characters Whose Names I Mispronounce*
I wish they’d inkluded her ridikulous akcent. JUST HARSH ON THE HARD C / K SOUNDS! Her voice itself is… close, but not quite how I’d thought of it. I think I imagined it a little deeper or something.
RANDOM ENCOUNTER. Warrior of Light: “SQUALL?! YOU TRAVEL ALONE?!” (er, said in a more reasonable manner, obviously, but)
why are you surprised i don’t even
I mean, dude, you’re traveling alone, as well.
Man, some of these bosses are so much higher level than me. Ugh. Throwing the pathetic level 11 up against the level 19 or higher. Without even letting me heal! Unfair. (They trap you into battles sometimes. There’s probably a rule to it, I haven’t worked it out yet. Chaining’ll do it, but I’m not sure on all of them. I got stuck in a battle once with 79 HP but I walked away unscathed, which was pretty cool, considering the enemy was a level higher than me.) (Ah! Pink/red ones aggro. And fighting their neighbor makes them aggro.)
… The Moogle didn’t particularly care that I knew anything about FFXI… Bah! Anyway. Today’s question was FFIX related, the coins stuff. Gemini. I am not so sure on my IX trivia (VII and VIII I think I know backwards and forwards, and I’m very confident in my knowledge of some of the other games, as well, but IX is on the replay list for a reason), but I made what felt like the best guess.
Warrior of Light, your name is too long and silly. From now on, I am abbreviating it as WoL. Which isn’t much better, really, but it’s easier and faster to type. Anyway, he’s kind of bland. Which isn’t too surprising, I guess, given what little I know of the first game (I haven’t played it yet).
I actually had to leave the fight with the Emperor earlier, because I was too low level. He’s still higher level than I am, but this went so much smoother, it was worth it. Two levels can make a world of a difference. Everyone’s going on about the truth. If you think it will deter me so much, you could just tell me, yeah?
But of course they will not. CHASING GARLAND. TELL MEEEE. And also stop disappearing. It’ll stop having any sort of dramatic impact (we’re pretending it had any in the first place) if you abuse it so.
Ah, good, I got the FFIX question correct.
Anyway, I caught Garland. Hey, look, I already said it was an eternal conflict. This isn’t news. Even if WoL (and probably everyone else) hadn’t figured it out. I PITY YOOOOU. AND I WILL OVERCOME IT. BECAUSE. SO THERE. You are such a do-gooder, it is kind of adorable and kind of irritating all at once.
AND NOW EVERYONE MAGICALLY HAS THEIR CRYSTAL zidane please stop talking AND WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO COSMOS YAY
SHANTOTTO! With her inexplicably British accent! You are a Tarutaru they do not strike me as particularly British but what the hell I’m not going to argue with you you would kill me. Or send me on another stupid mission to the arctic or something. Shantotto, please do not hurt me. (Well, there is a French Tarutaru, so why not. I just like her Japanese voice better, is part of the problem.)
Funny, I kinda figured I would actually have to go get everyone’s crystal before they let me progress…? WAIT DOES THIS MEAN NOW I CAN’T? Squeenix, I will cry if I just played through an entire section as WoL FOR NO REASON AT ALL. (Seems I didn’t. Yay!)
Haha, Squall, we see you there in the corner.
LOOK COSMOS, WE HAS SHINIES.
Too bad, we die, anyway? Wait, is she evil? That would be kind of awesome. UNLIKELY. But AWESOME.
(At this point I decided to make a list of the names of the manikins to figure out which one was representing which character. RANDOM LIST ENSUES. I had II and V backwards for a short while somehow.)
False Stalwart: Garland
Imitation Despot: Emperor
Counterfeit Wraith: Cloud of Darkness
Delusory Warlock: Golbez
Fallacious Tree: Exdeath
Phantasmal Harlequin: Kefka
Imaginary Champion: Sephiroth
Transient Witch: Ultimecia
Capricious Reaper: Kuja
Ephemeral Phantom: Jecht
False Hero: Warrior of Light
Imitation Liegeman: Firion
Counterfeit Youth: Onion Knight
Delusory Knight: Cecil
Fallacious Wanderer: Bartz
Phantasmal Girl: Terra
Imaginary Soldier: Cloud
Transient Lion: Squall
Capricious Thief: Zidane
Ephemeral Vision: Tidus
“The Unending Dream” at least sounds like it would be a better title for Tidus’ scenario, just saying. Though Tidus is here, for now, at least. And he wants to know everything. Because… he’s Tidus.
STOP PRONOUNCING IT TEEDUS. AGSDHFUIJE I DON’T CARE IF THAT’S THE “RIGHT” WAY.
Firion, this is your scenario, but Tidus is being much more interesting. Work on that. As revenge for that statement or to show me the error of my ways something, the first monster was a false Tidus.
Wild rose, wild rose, wild rooooose.
It is bonus day, so I am tempted to skip ahead to one of the characters I am more eager to play as. I like Firion just fine, don’t get me wrong, but…
I SAID STOP PRONOUNCING IT LIKE THAT.
Now Tidus runs away. And the Emperor pops outta… wherever to … be evil at me. Blah, blah, futility, fighting forever… blah.
Look, okay, DUH, Firion, okay? I had this figured out long before anyone told me anything. They’ve playing it up quite a lot, but, I mean… just. Geez.
…BAH.
SQUALL.
‘Cause his difficulty is higher than Cloud’s. (Cloud has one star.)
Man, the narration voiceover kinda sucks. Just saying. I ‘just say’ a lot with this game, don’t I.
Squall, you really didn’t need to save Zidane. It would have been oka—haha, oh, Squall. WHY DO THEY WANT ME TO TAG ALONG LEAVE ME ALONE.
OH GOD WHAT IS THAT IS IT HIDEOUS AND oh wait. Bartz has given us a “nasty looking” feather. Squall, you dork, be nice. (No, of course I don’t actually expect you to be any different, but I feel obligated to say it.) Now he has something to obsess over. FEATHER. WHY ARE YOU HERE. HMMMM.
ALSO I’VE BEEN MISPRONOUNCING ZIDANE AS WELL. GEEZ. It’s a soft “a” sound. Zidahn.
… Did you really just quote Ultimecia? Swarming like locusts!! But not across generations, I guess. Which is good. If you start talking all time-weird, something’s probably gone backwards.
… Did I really just gain four levels on the first map? Dang. I want bonus day more often…
FEATHERRRRRR. Are you accusing me of wanting to go with them? STOP POKING HIM, COSMOS, IT’S NOT NICE. Now he’s gonna dwell on it. …Ah, okay, that makes more sense. HI ULTIMECIA I thought it was a bit strange that Cosmos would drop in so early and say some of that.
Shiva just totally saved my life by setting the manikin’s Bravery to 0 mid-attack. YAY NO HIT POINTS (well, nearly none). (Of course I put Shiva on Squall. THAT IS JUST HOW THINGS GO IN MY BRAIN. Thank goodness I hung around Firion long enough to pick her up. Happy chance!)
Kuja and Kefka PLOT TO CAPTURE ME.
Haha, Squall. WELL OKAY MAYBE THE GOOD-LUCK CHARM ISN’T TOTALLY STUPID okay maybe it isn’t so bad at all okay maybe I kind of like having it with me…
Aaaaand bonus day is over now. Wish I’d remembered it was Thursday earlier.
Well, the solitude is working well enough so far, anyway. LESS PEOPLE = LESS PROBLEMS FOR SQUALL. Even if it does still make him angst but shhh that’s a secret. Kuja is confused by Squall refusing his offer of being made into bait. Or perhaps by Squall assuming he has a choice. Either way.
NICE RECOVERY, KUJA. Of course you are only leaving because Zidane would never come to rescue a weirdo like Squall. (NO ONE BELIEVES YOU.)
Really, it’s a good thing Zidane and Bartz are both all friendly-happy types. Imagine how Squall’s feeble little heart would break if he met up with them again (as it seems inevitable that he will) and they were like, ‘dude, get lost.’ But… but, feather… ;o;?
Squall’s maps are kind of like mazes. You have to kill some enemies to make the proper ones spawn, and since you have limited moves, it's always like, MAN, I hope this spawns the right one instead of an ether or nothing or something… Also the last piece that unlocks the boss is always a Transient Witch (fake Ultimecia). I wonder if that’s true for the others, that the last one is their enemy. I didn’t notice it with WoL, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.
Hey, I remember this encounter. Hi, WoL. SQUALL CALLS HIM ON HIS OWN SOLO ACT. Haha, good! I’m glad.
… But, no, Squall, you don’t need to threaten him. He’s your ally, even if he’s not your buddy. Put the gunblade down. I said put -
Or don’t. Fine. Kill each other.
But, seriously, WoL, I completed your scenario. Why do you have to come be ALL THAT IS GOOD AND TRUE everywhere else, as well? I’m sorry, it’s just, you’re kind of… boring. Is all. (It is okay, by the way. Squall – and everyone else who isn’t a people-person – gets that a lot.) (FEATHERRRR. It is his bestest friend. (It never tries to engage him in conversation.))
Ultimecia, I… think you are confused. I mean, yeah, but still no. You correctly see what is going on (not that that’s hard), but then you misinterpret it.
Aw, don’t be sad. Apparently when you get your head torn off by someone who’s upped their Bravery into the three-thousands, one of Squall’s I LOST NOOO lines is, “I can’t even save myself. QQ”
Well, the QQ isn’t literally there. It’s implied in the voice, though.
(A more amusing one is, “I was defeated by boredom…”)
ARGH MORE ENEMIES. JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE…!
Man, it sort of sounded like they were trying for the C= K! thing for a moment, there, but, alas, no.
Two on one? Hell, why not? I know you wouldn’t dare shake up the ONE ON ONE thing, but it might be interesting if you did.
Or not. GO AWAY MONKEY WITH AN ANNOYING VOICE. I COULD TOTALLY TAKE THEM BOTH. Also, I’m sorry, Zidane, but I really don’t like your voice. I am slowly getting used to it, but we are not even close to being there yet.
That, Squall, is because there is not bigger trouble than him. … Wait, not by Kuja, I hope. Bartz, that’s really embarrassing, if so.
… God, Zidane is short. Sometimes you notice it more. Like when he’s standing next to anyone who is a more normal height.
Wait why are we back with Firion AND ZIDANE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. Or at least shut up. (Tidus is sad you’ll tell Zidane about wild roses and not him, by the way. LOOK AT HIM. HE IS WEEPING. … ON THE INSIDE. Maybe.)
We get to watch Cosmos curl into a ball and die every time we defeat a scenario? I appreciate the thought, Square, but it’s not entirely necessary. Just the once would have been fine, I promise you.
Hey, I unlocked the museum! AWESOME!
Aaaaanyway, I guess I’ll go finish Firion before calling it a night. I was over half finished with it, anyway. 3 out of 5.
Back to the flower / metaphor stuff.
… I really shouldn’t have jumped to Squall. HE CAN ACTUALLY ATTACK. AUGH FIRION YOU ARE SO. SLOW.
Oh, hey, hi, Cloud! And again to you, Tidus.
Everyone goes alone. I am pretty sure I will never fight alongside anyone this entire game.
Cloud and Tidus hang out together because they don’t feel SHORTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE around each other. That is my theory. Though Zidane and Onion Knight are shorter. Whatever.
I’m a tool? You’re a tool! /lame insult
DISCORD IN THE CHAOS TEAM. .. Gosh. Who’d’a thunk.
Game, I really meant it. You don’t need to show me this scene every single time.
ONION KNIGHT. HI. …Another character without what I’d call a proper name. I could call him OK! But I will not. Probably. Difficulty level four. Not as hard as WoL, but harder than Firion and Squall.
Wait, what was Firion? I don’t actually remember. Pretty sure it wasn’t four.
Of course crystals have the power to break despair! You would be amazed at what SHINY THINGS can do. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. Shouldn’t you know that already?
Also, hello, Terra, too, I think this is the first time you’ve dropped in? And I hope you play better than you fight as a manikin, because your fakes are kind of pathetic, and I’m really not looking forward to playing as you if they’re an accurate reflection.
I dunno, do gods always sound pretentious? I’m not really that well-acquainted with any… I guess you guys would know better than me.
FFIII is one of the ones I haven’t played (or even started) yet, but I think I like this kid. The descriptions make him sound really arrogant, but he isn’t acting offensively so (yet). Or possibly I am just willfully misinterpreting his comments. I mean, he is an overconfident idiot, but he is not aggressively annoying in the process. … Yet.
The final manikin is always the Cloud of Darkness, so I may have just not noticed with WoL. And Firion... I forgot to check with the last two levels with Firion. Oops.
Aw, come on! LET’S GO RUSHING INTO DANGER. Yay, danger! Terra, you’re coming across as kind of pathetic. I don’t remember you being pathetic?!
Oooh, Phoenix summon.
Whu… Who is that? … I should know, but I can’t think of it for some reason. It’s not like the character list is that long. Bah! … Ah. I guess the point of this was to show that OK (I lied) can trick his way out of a conflict or something. And to accuse him of having no valor. THE HORROR.
And now we kill our allies again. At least it’s for a slightly more legitimate reason this time YES I AM LOOKING AT YOU SQUALL
And then Terra … imploded or something, I dunno. Teleported. Disappeared. Not here, whatever is was. Guilt-tripping time!
And here he is again. Or, wait. Is it the same guy? One of them is Exdeath and one of them is Golbez, and I can’t remember which color the first guy was… Anyway, maybe hello again, Golbez, and maybe hello for the first time. I am almost sure they were both Golbez, but for some reason I am totally blanking.
… There is some seriously flawed logic in there, kid, but, hey, all right. whoo, crystal.
Firion was two stars, by the way. CECIL HAS ONLY ONE.
Firion, Tidus is always impatient. He is not “getting” anything. Well, maybe louder.
OKAY I LIKE CECIL HE CAN STAY. Yay, effective fighters! You make me so happy.
I dunno, it is, of course, always possible that I just don’t know how to work with the ones I think are “bad” fighters.
Aw, Tidus. You’re adorable. Never stop being so… Tidusy. “Well, it’s what you wanna do, right? So just go do it!” I want to squish him.
They all talk about going to find the others… I can’t imagine that’s easy, in the apparent madhouse that is what’s left of whatever reality they’re stuck in.
Haha, folderol. AWESOME choice of words, Golbez!
Tidus, I’m sorry, Cloud and Squall don’t care about your story. It’s not you. Or it mostly isn’t you. That’s just who they are. Hurry and catch up now.
LITTLE PAWNS WATCH COSMOS GO ‘SPLODEY ONE MORE TIME. Curse you, self, for refusing to ever skip cutscenes. Though there is no rule about putting the PSP down and/or wandering off.
Yay, I am half-completed with the Destiny Odyssey segment.
NEXT IS BARTZ EVERYONE SAY HELLO. He is the other four-star level.
Ah, we pick up Bartz where Squall left off. I guess perhaps it is good I jumped ahead, then (dude, seriously. Lucky!). OH NO BARTZ HAS BEEN CAUGHT IN A TRAP.
PRESUMABLY BY KUJA GOD THAT IS EMBARRASSING.
Oh, by Kefka. That’s not as bad. (Kuja’s trapping attempts looked fun! Now Kuja is annoyed.)
And now references to the Onion Knight’s path.
Curiosity for the win! … The Emperor is trying to recruit Sephiroth. MY PREDICTION: yeah, right. Oh, Ultimecia’s there, too. Either way, the result is the same. (He – Sephiroth – doesn’t seem to be doing much. Why are you even here? Stupid question, of course. You’re just in it for the Cloud-poking I’m sure you’ll get to do.)
Hey, guys, Sephiroth wandered off while you were debating what to do about your eavesdropper.
'Must I slip away from even conversation?' YES. YES, I MUST. Heeheehee. I can’t believe you really had to ask.
SWEET COSMOS, IT’S A TALKING ROCK. But it is not any rock, it is Leviathan, hooray. Though I am probably not going to ditch Bahamut. Bahamut! So awesome.
Yaaaay, we found people. (Er, who don’t want to beat me up.) And now we lost person. Gosh, the crystal was a fake. I am so surprised. … BYE, ZIDANE.
And this time Kuja did trick you and OOH I HOPE THAT ONE BURNS BECAUSE IT SHOULD. (I like Kuja, I really do, but I have an impossible time taking him seriously. The outfit is actually not the cause of this, but it really doesn’t help his case.)
I know, Squall, right? Like Zidane isn’t the master of cheap tricks. Can’t beat him at his own game. (Though, you know, bonus points for everyone in that whenever Squall attempts anything resembling not hiding in the corner leave me alone, they don’t all go WHY SQUALL HOW UNLIKE YOU!)
He’s angsting, Squall. Don’t you recognize it? Ahahar, it’s the feather of doom. I wonder how little sense this would make if I had not jumped ahead. Do they rearrange the order of cutscenes or something? I can’t believe they would, but… I wonder what all I have missed from other story lines.
Dang, I get he mimics, but seeing someone wielding what looks like the Buster sword and the revolver-style gunblade at the same time is kind of mind-boggling. More because of the Buster sword than the gunblade, but still.
OH NO I’M BEING THREATENED WITH HAVING TO WANDER like he hasn’t been referred to solely as THE WANDERER by the narration this entire time or something.
I’ve thought it several times when fighting against him, and fighting as him has not changed my mind. Bartz is seriously overpowered here.
Pfffaha, the feather turned into a crystal. No more good luck charm. NO MORE HANDING IT OFF TO EACH OTHER.
So I guess Zidane’s story will include escaping from Kuja. (Shaaaaaame.)
And now we move on to Terra. Who’s probably still hanging with the Onion Knight. Five stars!
OK’s been pulling the mute card, claims the narration. GUILT. ANGST. She doesn’t remember what happened in OK’s section. … Possibly for the best, that, but then I’ve no doubt it’ll come back and bite everyone. Kind of a no-winner, there.
Thankfully, Terra is not as hopeless to fight with as she is to fight against. I like Tornado a lot.
Here is Kefka to tell Terra that she kinda went all brainwashed evil for a bit. Oi, she didn’t beat him to a pulp! Augh, they both disappeared when OK challenged Kefka. All alone! PANIC ATTACK.
Initiating self-destruct… HI CLOUD wait, what do you mean what’s he doing here? Why wouldn’t Cloud be at the planet’s core? This seems perfectly natural to me.
Hm. He wants to kill me. Or beat sense into me. Or something. I’m trusting that you’re not just being randomly violent, here, Cloud. Don’t let me down.
Ah, good, he didn’t. oooh, give him a hug, he’s being emo. THAT WAS KINDA LIKE A VERBAL HUG? Cloud needs to know he is not useless and incapable of doing anything right! Good job, Terra!
Really, what is Cloud doing with Firion’s “dream”? Thank goodness he is next. Hopefully we get an answer to that. LOOK I CAN MAKE A ROSE APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE. Why?
And now more emo. Cloud, it gets better eventually, I promise.
See, Terra, I think the problem with asking Cloud to think about flowers and the like is, flowers probably remind him of Aeris/th, and that might make him be sad some more.
I think I could watch Kefka just… be himself for ages. FINGERS.
Cloud VERSUS Cloud … of Darkness.
“If you’d just let your powers take over and destroy your mind”… XD He is such a lunatic. I don’t think I’ve mentioned the *SPROING* sound effect he makes in battle. He has a *SPROING* sound effect as he hops around the battlefield. It is hilarious.
I know there is a weird, huge debate over who’s the bestest villain, Kefka or Sephiroth, and while I won’t deny that Kefka’s pretty messed up and did some evil things, he amuses me too much and fighting him isn’t really a big deal. Sephiroth is ridiculously overdone, but still, every time I’m dropped into a fight with him, I get a little nervous. He’s got nasty, nasty attacks. That he usually succeeds in thoroughly trouncing me a few (or more) times before I manage to take him out probably helps, too. Not that this “oh god gonna die” sensation stops me from poking fun at him. Nothing saves anyone from that.
Oh, that’s a pretty crystal. Red and black.
Revisiting Squall and WoL going at it now? WoL, that’s, like, all he does. I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here. (“Can you carve out your path – without the help of others?”)
AND BACK TO COSMOIHDUFRGJKLASMD. That is what I have to say about that.
CLOOOUD! IT IS TIME FOR CLOUD! ‘Nother easy one. Actually, all the harder ones are done. Zidane’s three, and Tidus is only two stars.
HI CLOUD. I AM EXCITED TO BE AT YOUR STORY CAN YOU TELL? :D :D
We are back with Firion and Cecil and Tidus again, by the way, if you can’t remember where he’s turned up before. If I’ve even mentioned it. I KNOW I MENTIONED HIM WHEN HE TURNED UP WITH TERRA I CAN SEE HIS NAME HIGHER UP ON THE PAGE.
SEPHIROTH: JUST ANOTHER SADIST WITH A GOD COMPLEX. (like THAT’S something special) And apparently he killed himself recently. …You’re kind of unnerving the other people on your team, there, buddy.
Mm, it’s nice to actually be able to HIT THINGS again. No offense, Terra. Things went surprisingly well with you, but I’m just not a very good mage-type.
Tidus and his little head-twitches just reminded me of Tidus-bird. IT REALLY IS FRIGHTENINGLY ACCURATE. I should go home and find it and get a picture or something.
You know you’re in trouble when everyone’s praising Cloud as having the most sense of all of the group. Cloud agrees that it is not sense he has.
...EVERYONE IS A CLOUD FANBOY.
Man, this is getting long. I hope I can post this whole section as one. I don’t want to have to go back and insert entry-breaks. YES I AM LAZY. SHUT UP. DON’T JUDGE ME.
Cloud, you can’t smile about anything these days. Seriously, someone give him a hug or fast-forward him to Advent Children or something, he needs it.
Am I going to fight Firion? … Seems so. WHOO BATTLE FOR THE HELL OF IT at least we’re not actually trying to kill each other this time.
Clooooud, stop being angsty, it makes me sad. YOU DESERVE BETTER. REALLY.
We’re kicking you out of the party, Cloud, Go away. Shoo. Shoo! Don’t come back until you’ve figured out why you’re fighting and what your dream is!
Sephiroth, you are such a … I don’t know. Stalker who wants the stalkee to stalk him. I don’t think there’s a word for that. Lunatic.
But there is where the rose came from, anyway. Seph (IF YOU DON’T WANT A STUPID NICKNAME THEN GET A SHORTER NAME OKAY) stole it from Firion and gave it to Cloud. … Flowers? For me? How sweet.
Damnit, there’s a seven level gap in my favor? How did I pull THAT one off? Nineteen levels over five maps? Wtf?
… oh. Calendar. I’m getting exp bonuses today.
He’s calling you pathetic, Cloud, are you gonna stand for that? And a puppet, but when isn’t he doing that? (It’s okay, we both know that – yeah, okay, wow, there, Seph. STALKER STALKER STALKER. SE is run by slashers, I swear to god. I am not a Cloud/Sephiroth ‘shipper, but honestly. It is not hard to see why it is so popular when the creators are doing things like this.)
oh look it is materia. No, Word, I really did mean “materia” back there. STOP CORRECTING ME. Of course Cloud’s crystal looks like materia.
NOT SQUALL TIME NOW BECAUSE WE ALREADY DID THAT. WOE. … we could do it agai—NO MOVING ON
ZIDANE.
Yes, narration, everyone is searching for their respective crystal. I’d rather picked up on that by now.
So this takes place after Squall’s, too, but apparently not after Bartz’s?
… deadly music, eh?
We open with Ultimecia taunting Kuja. Because it is so fun, and he makes it so easy. And then Zidane and Bartz decide to race to see who can find the crystal first, which was part of the whole thing in Bartz’s story.
And because Ultimecia called him names, Kuja’s feelings were hurt, and that is what made him decide to try and capture Zidane. … Sure! …They are idiot schemes, aren’t they, Garland? I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing that.
I would say, DAMNIT BARTZ STOP FALLING FOR FAKE CRYSTALS but chronologically your story hasn’t happened yet, has it... So I guess I should have said that, what, five, scenarios ago? Kefka accused Zidane of being too stupid to fall for a trap.
KUJA, EVERYONE MOCKS YOU. You aren’t intimidating. And also probably are having a bad hair day, let’s be honest.
Hi, Squall, I remember this. YES, HE IS AN IDIOT, ISNT’T HE? FINALLY, ZIDANE, WE AGREE ON SOMETHING.
Hey, so, the Magic Pot summon’s pretty awesome.
I’ve seen this already. Ah, okay, they cut it out early. Squall, everyone appears to be one of their targets.
Haha, how’s that? ‘WAIT I AM TRYING TO TALK TO YOU DON’T YOU WANT TO LISTEN AND POSSIBLY MOCK ME?’ ‘NAH I DON’T CARE LALALA SAVING BARTZ.’
Hey, I’ve seen this, already, too. HI AGAIN BARTZ WE ALL FOUND EACH OTHER WHOO. And now Zidane is going to touch the fake crystal and GO AWAY. And now I can say, mostly in context, DAMNIT BARTZ STOP FALLING FOR FAKE CRYSTALS. Yay!
Kujakujakujakujakuja HI
Aw, don’t worry, Zidane! They’ll be fine! Stop moping and get going.
No, he really doesn’t have friends, Zidane. He is so much better than everyone else. They are not worthy. Duh.
MONKEY VERSUS MONKEY. FIGHT
I know, it sucks, but you really can’t reason with him. He’s kind of… not quite right.
See, there’s just another reason why everyone thinks you’re weird, Sephiroth. They never have any idea what you’re talking about. (Admit it. You don’t either and just make things up as you go along.)
Only Tidus is left in this section of the story! Unless I want to shoot for 100% completion on each one. Which, right now? No. I really don’t.
Heh, Firion and Cecil are both so surprised that Tidus is apparently so eager to take Jecht out of the picture.
Tidus: *BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY*
Firion: … how. o_X;?
I think we just kicked Cecil out of the party, but they didn’t actually show it. They blanked the screen for a moment instead of replaying the scene.
In FFX, what button do you have to press in Tidus’ overdrive? Is it R1, or O, or something else? Because here I am prompted to hit O, but I keep wanting to pull R1…
Well, I suppose it’s just R, since there’s only one trigger on either side on a PSP.
Yeah, we definitely kicked Cecil out. Here is the scene with Firion going HEY WHERE IS HE. Only now I get to watch it instead of just giggle to myself as Tidus makes faces to himself.
Yeah, Tidus, you are good at laughing your way out of things. NEVER CHANGE. I think I have said that already.
FIRION SEES STRAIGHT THROUGH THE EXCUSES. And keeps asking if Tidus is okay with Jecht being on the opposing side. Tidus continues to insist he’s looking forward to beating him.
IT OCCURS TO ME THAT YOU CAN PROBABLY ACCURATELY GUESS FROM MY BURSTS OF EXTREME ENTHUSIASM THAT VII, VIII, and X ARE MY TOP FAVOURITES.
Whoops, we lost Firion. Or, uh. “Rosebud” now. There’s a nickname he’ll never live down. HI JECHT. Apparently Tidus fighting Jecht here is not productive to whatever the Emperor is up to. Heh, now he’s annoyed that Jecht is taking orders “like that.”
It feels like I’ve fought the Emperor a lot…
Jecht wants the world back the way it was or something.
Tidus is still describing his life to us, by the way. The other people have thoughts, but Tidus is running narration on it.
Ha! ‘Suddenly, he felt the urge to yell.’ TIDUS STARTS RUNNING! And then! “GAAAAAH!” Firion’s probably just like, wtf!? (Though he doesn't actually react, which makes it funnier.) Oh god I laughed.
Tidus won’t fight Jecht when he’s all beat up and mangled. Then he banishes himself from the party. I have to do it aloooone! Ooh, potion. Parting gift!
THIS IS MY STORY
You could make a drinking game with that phrase alone, I swear.
We use the potion on Jecht so we can fight him.
You know, I know their relationship isn’t entirely what one would call normal (or healthy), but I still really like how Tidus and Jecht interact. They really obviously care for each other, but they really cannot, don’t know how to, get along. But that was a really great conclusion.
Hrm. Squall and Tidus were the only two who didn’t get a visit from Cosmos. (Well, Squall was visited twice by Ultimecia pretending to be Cosmos, but that doesn’t count. Unless every appearance of Cosmos was really Ultimecia in disguise.)
CRAP NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WoL I DON’T WANT TO. I wanna hang out with the awesome people. Alas. Alas!
Anyway, that was Destiny Odyssey. NEXT.
THIS IS 18 PAGES. WHAAAAT.
edit:
oh thank goodness it fits