Jecca Mehlota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jecca_mehlota) wrote2009-03-14 12:54 am
jecca_mehlota) wrote2009-03-14 12:54 am
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I'm having a ridiculously hard time coming up with enough reasons not to go to actually not go to BotCon. Yeah, it is a bit of money, but since I can afford it (it... it's like finding the wad of money you tucked away when you were, like, ten, I swear, I am so ridiculously pleased)... Yeah, California is a bit far, but I've been there plenty. I've flown alone before. I did this all last year by myself.
My therapist thought it was a good experience for me, since it got me out of the house and interacting with people. I am sure she would not actually give me an opinion on whether or not I should go, of course but I really want to.
So mostly it's the inner two-year-old screaming BUT I WANT TO GOOOO versus the FEAR. I think the rational portion is hiding in the corner wishing they'd both shut up, and I'm torn between wanting to join it and cheering for the two-year-old.
I guess I will call the hotel and see about booking a room. uugh, I don't want to room solo again hatehatehate ... Areany either of the, er, what, two people in the fandom* on my friends list reading this going and do either of you need a room/mate? I HAVE NO SHAME OKAY. Or know anyone who needs someone to pay for the Primus package so they can go as a Minicon? (I've not really any interest in the toys this year, but I could sell them or something...)
.....CHRIST.
I'M SHUTTING UP ABOUT THIS. I'M SURE YOU'RE ALL SICK OF SCROLLING PAST THESE ENTRIES BY NOW.
WRITING THINGS OUT HELPS ME THINK ABOUT THEM ANYWAY. There. That is my justification.
I was going to ramble on about something FFXI-related, but - is that the time? crud - maybe I will write a letter, instead. It'll be better with terrible illustrations, anyway.
ALSO I have written this entire entry and only NOW, in the last line, does the cursor bother to show up.
* I spend a ridiculous amount of time talking about fandoms half, if not all (hi, FFXI!) of you aren't interested in. This bewilders me somewhat if I think about it a bit. Then I think a little more and it makes sense in a doesn't-actually-make-sense kind of way again. Then I hate myself.
... edit! Yee! I was just reminded that TF:A restarts tomorrow! Supernatural yesterday and robots tomorrow! Yay for this week.
My therapist thought it was a good experience for me, since it got me out of the house and interacting with people. I am sure she would not actually give me an opinion on whether or not I should go, of course but I really want to.
So mostly it's the inner two-year-old screaming BUT I WANT TO GOOOO versus the FEAR. I think the rational portion is hiding in the corner wishing they'd both shut up, and I'm torn between wanting to join it and cheering for the two-year-old.
I guess I will call the hotel and see about booking a room. uugh, I don't want to room solo again hatehatehate ... Are
.....CHRIST.
I'M SHUTTING UP ABOUT THIS. I'M SURE YOU'RE ALL SICK OF SCROLLING PAST THESE ENTRIES BY NOW.
WRITING THINGS OUT HELPS ME THINK ABOUT THEM ANYWAY. There. That is my justification.
I was going to ramble on about something FFXI-related, but - is that the time? crud - maybe I will write a letter, instead. It'll be better with terrible illustrations, anyway.
ALSO I have written this entire entry and only NOW, in the last line, does the cursor bother to show up.
* I spend a ridiculous amount of time talking about fandoms half, if not all (hi, FFXI!) of you aren't interested in. This bewilders me somewhat if I think about it a bit. Then I think a little more and it makes sense in a doesn't-actually-make-sense kind of way again. Then I hate myself.
... edit! Yee! I was just reminded that TF:A restarts tomorrow! Supernatural yesterday and robots tomorrow! Yay for this week.