jecca_mehlota: (Cue dolphin profanities)
Jecca Mehlota ([personal profile] jecca_mehlota) wrote2009-12-03 01:10 am

Dissidia complaints.

As now, as requested, here are several pages of me being annoyed with Dissidia’s blatant cheating.


I am... mostly sure that SE means well, but if I have to reset the battle if the other guy so much as lands a hit on me, there's maybe something a little wrong with the mechanics. (I reset because it is faster than watching myself die and then go all ONOES I WAS DEFEATED and then having to hit Retry, anyway.)

If the guy is seven or more levels lower than me, he should not be able to oneshot me.

...well, okay, it's not really a 1-shot. I think I’ve mentioned in my Dissidia rambling--- oh. I just remembered I only ever posted the first one. I’ll stick the other part up, too, at some point. Anyway, if I went into this (and I'm not sure I did), you may remember that there were two types of attacks, but I’ll review here, again, anyway. There are HP attacks and bravery attacks. HP attacks, obviously, damage your HP. Bravery attacks damage their bravery. Your bravery determines how much you hit for when you land an attack on their HP, so by damaging their BRV, you reduce the amount of damage they can do to you (in theory), and you build your own BRV levels. If your BRV is reduced to zero by an attack (it drops to zero after a successful HP attack, but then quickly regenerates), your bravery is “broken” and you do no damage until your BRV either regenerates (it will go back up on its own) or until you land a successful HP attack (at which point your BRV jumps back up). Also, if you break the other guy’s BRV, you get a BRV bonus, which usually gives you a nice boost. Most BRV attacks are multi-hit, and once one blow lands, you have to suffer through the rest of them. It’s usually followed by a HP attack.

Anyway! Right now I’m talking about higher level stuff, but the same crap goes on at lower levels. The computer starts out by using a bravery attack and, of course, it's the beginning to the battle so I usually can't EX Burst (limit break equivalent, and if you enter it while under attack, they’re forced to break off. It also grants you a slight HP regen status while it’s in effect) my way out of it, sooo all I can do it sit there while they break my bravery (which is usually in THE FIRST HIT because the computer cheats) and then hit me with an HP attack that kills me. Or at least takes 3/4 of my HP.

And then of course I go flying and they hit me again before I get back up, so then I die anyway.

(Why not just dodge or block that first attack, then, you ask? Oh, I can dodge the first attack, but they hit me eventually, and it's the same story no matter when. If I can EX Burst, then that saves me that one time. Or, sometimes - I swear to god, I CANNOT DO THIS, but the game can, so either it cheats here, too, which is what my money’s on, or I just haven't figured out the trick to it - I'll be mid attack and they'll turn around and hit me, anyway, even though they shouldn’t be able to. Or they’ll suddenly dodge while I’m in the middle of an attack, which, again - not possible.)

ALSO: their attack always wins. Sometimes we cancel each other out, if we attack at the same time, but for the most part they can always override me. ALWAYS.

It is such that, whenever I do finally win these battles, I don't feel like, WHOO I WON (you know, that awesome feeling when you’ve scraped through a tough battle) I feel like, fuck this fucking game it fucking cheats and I just got lucky and I do not want to play anymore. (And usually, yeah, it is only that I got lucky.)

I mean, it can be fun when I stand half a chance, but these just suck. Figuring out ways to defeat a hard enemy isn't as entertaining when that enemy only needs to hit you once to end the battle, especially when you can't even risk attacking them because they'll somehow break out mid-attack and hit you.


And, backing up a bit to Bravery attacks and the breaking of your bravery, et cetera. Another incongruity is that they can break my Bravery even when they have, like, no Bravery and it's not a critical hit (though I’ve noticed they crit hit way more than I do) or anything else weird, at least not that I can determine. They just MAGICALLY BREAK MY BRAVERY. By cheating. In one blow! I’ll have over 5k BRV and they’ll have, like, 200, and they hit me once and – BOOM! BRV BREAK, and then they suddenly have 9999 (even if the stage bonus was nowhere near that high and even if they don’t have multipliers on) and then they hit me and I die.

Oh. Multipliers. You can equip accessories to boost all sorts of things, such as how much your EX Burst gauge gets charged when you pick up the things for it, or for doing ore damage or… the usual sorts of things, really. You can also put on things to increase your BRV gain.

Of course, you can only equip so many, and they all have restrictions you have to fill, and of course, the computer completely ignores these things. They wear accessories and get the bonuses from them when they don’t meet the requirements. Or I’ve lost my mind. Or both, really. AND, you only have so many ability points, so you can only equip so many skills (kind of like Kingdom Hearts, in that respect), but of course the computer doesn't have to respect that, either, and can use any and all abilities they want.

It really annoys me how shameless they are with it. You go to fight, say, a level 12 manikin/monster, and they’re wearing a level THIRTY piece of equipment!

(No, really. Before the battle, there’s a screen that shows you your enemy’s gear and level and basic stats, just to show off how much they are cheating)

They also get abilities ages before you do. You go against a level 3 manikin, they’re using attacks you won’t see until, at the earliest, the 20s.

You’re never on even footing. Seriously, I take my level 100 character and fight the level 1-30 mobs because the level 60+ ones can kill me in one hit (the 90+ ones are the only real threats, but nothing burns more than being one-shotted by the AI when they’re forty levels lower than you just because they’re cheating).

I should not have to be twenty levels higher than the mobs to be able to get close to something resembling a fair fight!

And apparently they go up over level 100. If a level 90 mob can one-shot me, how would the level 110 fights go? They wouldn’t even bother loading the battle! It’d go from the “THIS IS THEIR GEAR!” screen to the Retry/Quit option.

Or maybe your PSP would explode. That is how epically you would lose.

And then you go, SE, I tried to fight this mob in Dissidia and my PSP exploded, and apparently that happens to everyone who tries this? And they're like, well you had the wrong gear/summon/character. Or, it's working as intended. Or something. (THIS PARAGRAPH MAKES SENSE TO A FFXI PLAYER, ANYWAY.)


I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS BULLSHIT AND THERE ISN'T ONE AND IT ANNOYS ME


Now I am going to abandon explanations and paragraphs and just list things that annoy me about it. There will be repeats.

THEY CAN HIT YOU THROUGH THE WALL. I don't mean, you go flying and crash through a wall. I mean, you're standing on one side of a wall and they're on the other and their attack just ignores the fact that there is a wall between the two of you. Apparently some attacks you the player use can also do this, but not nearly to the extent of the computer’s ability.

They can break out of your combos whenever they want but you cannot break their and that’s just unfair.

THEY CAN DODGE UNDODGEABLE ATTACKS FROM THE MIDDLE OF A STRING OF ATTACKS.

If I cannot wear the level 50 gear at level 15, neither can you, computer.

SAME GOES FOR ATTACKS. Stop Omnislash v5-ing me, Cloud, you can’t have that for another … many levels, at least, I don’t know what level that is. My Cloud doesn’t have it at level 40, and you’re not anywhere near there.

Stop giving yourself super-amazing gear that I won’t see for another couple years, if ever.

FOR THAT MATTER, if you’re going to make me trade for all of the reasonably decent gear over level, what, 35, could you be a little better at giving me items I can actually use to trade it for? LUCK BASED ITEM SYSTEM IS FAIL. (Says the bitter FFXI player who’s seen and experienced NM camping too many times to retain any sanity.)

While I’m busy being annoyed, I’m going to accuse the computer of equipping characters
with gear they shouldn’t be able to use regardless of their level. I have no proof of this because I haven’t bothered to learn characters can wear which pieces of gear, but you haven’t really given me any reason to believe you wouldn’t, SE.


AND – okay, really, mostly just stop using attacks and equipment you shouldn’t have access to yet and stop giving yourself such a gross advantage or at least stop being so obvious about it. This has kind of petered out. If I got on and tried to fight a few guys who were around my level, I’d get back into it, but I’m trying to avoid that. XD

There's probably more, but I don't feel like throwing my PSP against the wall or combing through AIM chatlogs to find anything else.


And now I go to beeeeed.