I just I could just figure it all out and start working through it. I knew I was incapable of dealing with compliments (actually, I do appear to be getting a little better with that, in that I no longer try to correct everyone on their occasionally-positive opinions about me and what I do), but now I'm realizing just how much deeper than that it goes, and... ugh.
It's stupid, because figuring that out shouldn't make me feel worse, but it completely does. "oh noes. more stupid problems. YAY I'M EVEN MORE HOPELESS THAN I THOUGHT I WAS," while I still know it's not my fault and I'm doing all I can and working myself through it best I can and, you know, that's pretty good, really. I'm a whole lot better than I was, or so I'd... really like to believe. In some ways, I'm sure I must be. Others, I might be worse, but maybe that's because I'm calling it back up to get past it? I DON'T KNOW.
Why doesn't anyone do anything, is what I want to know? Every year, more is put out on the detrimental long-term effects that sort of treatment has on kids, so why doesn't anyone ever listen to the kids who do manage to ask for help?
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It's stupid, because figuring that out shouldn't make me feel worse, but it completely does. "oh noes. more stupid problems. YAY I'M EVEN MORE HOPELESS THAN I THOUGHT I WAS," while I still know it's not my fault and I'm doing all I can and working myself through it best I can and, you know, that's pretty good, really. I'm a whole lot better than I was, or so I'd... really like to believe. In some ways, I'm sure I must be. Others, I might be worse, but maybe that's because I'm calling it back up to get past it? I DON'T KNOW.
Why doesn't anyone do anything, is what I want to know? Every year, more is put out on the detrimental long-term effects that sort of treatment has on kids, so why doesn't anyone ever listen to the kids who do manage to ask for help?
... yay hugs!