jecca_mehlota: (It'll be okay now.)
Jecca Mehlota ([personal profile] jecca_mehlota) wrote2012-04-03 10:29 pm

"You sound like a lady!"

Unbeknownst to the poor, bewildered child, the reason for that is that I am, in fact, a lady.

AND THAT WAS MY WORK DAY.


Anyway.

When last we left, I was hopping aimlessly around the timeline trying to finish quests and solve puzzles and generally avoiding going off to beat the game. But then that got old. AND SO:


Really, it is quite convenient that, the moment Serah and Noel start questioning Mog about his home, we magically stumble into an Oerba that is full of anomalies, which remind Mog of SOMEPLACE LONG AGO.

At least it is connect the dots, instead of the numbers. I like connect the dots.

… I JUST HAD TO SAY THAT, DIDN'T I. hahaha oh god. NUMBERS.

That one wasn't so bad, but that does not mean the next one won't be.


… hm. That was my last wild artefact. I hope there aren't any more gates… I don't wanna have to track down more. D:



OERBA. WHY SO FULL OF ANOMALIES.

So. Reasons my brother is BEST EVER: I really, really hate these number ones. They were kinda fun at first, sure, but I AM SO SO SO SICK OF THEM at this point and I just wanna be done solving anomalies and aaaaaugh yes this is my fault for trying to do both AnomalOerbas in one shot, but sfedkjlnsba so I started asking my brother about them to see if he could solve them any faster, and instead he went and wrote a computer program to solve them. SO NOW I can have as many answers as I damn well please (apparently you can pretty much start on any number and win, which is… more surprising than it should be. I guess my brain is burnt out) in no time. If I ever actually feel guilty for "cheating" then I can just rewind time and play it again, but I … do not forsee that happening.


… SELFISH PANCAKE why not XD


Do we get to go to the land of the moogles?? THAT WOULD MAKE UP FOR ALL THESE DAMN NUMBER CLOCKS. Of course we will not, because Square's a bunch of assholes.

Serah, if Mog leaves, you're in a bit of trouble. Not too much, since I mostly have you casting spells, anyway, but. A little.


Heh, I'm so used to two Zaghnals spawning that I'm momentarily confused when it's just one.




BACK TO THE ARCHYLTE STEPPE NOW. Because I like it here and also because god damn it I am going to max out Woof OR ELSE and I've noticed I pick up a large amount of grade 4 items here.

Also it really weirds me out when I fling Mog and he comes back with a monster. This has happened several times (I admit, I was totally okay with the chocobo that was apparently hiding in the center of the main building in Academia. BUT I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW IT GOT THERE?).





OKAY FINALLY WE HAVE MAXED OUR LITTLE FRIENDS. Serah and Noel are straggling, though, with only 5/6 roles masters. Alasssss. We're pretty close, though, hopefully I can pick up some CP on my way to THE END.

Also I am missing I think 8 fragments? Though I know what most of them are, ha!

OKAY, Academia 500 AF! Hope you're ready for me. And also that I am ready for you. Last time I was in an Academia with 0s instead of Xs, it was full of Cie'th.

This one is full of floating platforms, though, I guess. Kinda reminds me of Orphan's Cradle.


GUYS.

GUYS, I JUST FELL FOREVER IN A FINAL FANTASY GAME I think that is a first!

'cause uh apparently there was a gap between the starting platform and the down ramp hahaha whoops


… Yeul, I'm sure whatever you're trying to tell me is important, or at least vaguely interesting, but I'm having an impossible time hearing you over the "lalala" music, the explosions, and Serah and Noel's battle sound effects.


Yay, all roles mastered! \o/



APKALLUUUUU!! It was not almighty. :(



… POT CAT CALLED "SCHRODINGER"


Awwww, Chocolina's sad that this may be the last time we see each other! Don't worry, Chocolina! I will certainly never forget you.


So, here is my worry. Yeul is all, omg no, go away. But we do not listen, because fuck that. Except, uh. I remember reading somewhere in the fragment logs that Caius has the heart of Etro in him? Which makes him immortal or some shit, idk. Basically, we can't kill him, but if we do kill him, we kill Etro, which, um, isn't that kind of what he wants to happen? Bad plan. TOO BAD THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO ADVANCE THE PLOT! It'll be interesting to see how they resolve this, anyway.

(Or, well, maybe I am interpreting it wrong. That is also possible.)


Oh no I have run away from the ending again

The Cie'th on the Steppe was annoying me. I had to go kill it and put it out of its misery.

And also I had to see if I could take on that stupid Fomoire yet, 'cause last time I tripped over one it ended badly.



Hmmm. HOW ELSE CAN I PUT THIS OFF?

I haven't played around much (read: at all) with closing and reopening gates. Maybe I will try that.


… hey, did you know that killing Atlas without weakening him first unlocks a paradox ending? (Yes, probably, BUT I DIDN'T.)


COCOON FALLS. EVERYONE DIES. Actually, mostly everyone is dead before that on account of massive monsters. Wow, that was a downer.


DITTO HIS ROYAL RIPENESS! Dude, are all the other Paradox endings just things where I can close the gate and fight a monster again and kill it too early? I was hoping for something a little more exciting than that… :\

Though even if so, I will never, ever repeat Cie'th Hell Academia. So TOO BAD, game.

hahaha what the hell did I just watch XDDD

Also, Noel acts like an imbecile when he's a microchu. Are we sure that wasn't, I don't know, Snow, or something?



Anyway, uh, not really finding anything else of much interest, and it's getting a bit boring. Besides, Aerinity probably wants her game by now… XD I guess I should beat it so I can send it off to her…

Back to the creepy tetris block area full of sirens!!


Here comes Caius! I wonder how many times I will die here.


Hope! I am so glad you made it!


EEEE THE PILOT IS SAZH! I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! SAZH! REALLY THIS TIME! Aaww, it's the whole family! Though I did not spend an entire game with Dajh, so my adoration of him is mostly based off of "WELL SAZH THINKS HE'S AWESOME AND SAZH'S OPINION IS, OF COURSE, COMPLETELY UNBIASED"… And, hey, he is adorable, so that's something.

Whatever, time to fight Bahamut again. Chaos Bahamut. Whoever.

He was kind of pathetic. Um. But we hurt his feelings so he divebombed our airship. And then ran and told Caius, who came over to stomp all over our faces.


CAIUS WHY CAN'T I EVER BE ALLOWED TO KEEP FIGHTING YOU AFTER YOU AUTO-REVIVE. Come on, man, seriously this is SO STUPID. I AM READY TO KEEP FIGHTING.


Yeah, Caius, I… really think you've been at this Immortal Guardian thing for too long. Let it go, man. Yeul, herself, doesn't seem to care, and, uh. Destroying time and fate won't really set her free so much as negate her existence.


AND HOPE IS LEFT BEHIND ONCE AGAIN. Sorry, buddy.


Heeey, Valhalla! We finally made it! And there's the real Odin to catch us before we splatter on the ground!

Whoops, but then Caius blew him up.


Hahahaha that stupid orange bow on Woof's tail, oh, man. IT STILL MAKES ME GIGGLE, especially when it's all SERIOUS MOOD and DRAMATIC MUSIC and brilliant orange bowtie

… huh. Caius cast Ultima, but it… didn't … do anything? BEHOLD, MY BEWILDERMENT.

Aaahaha, so, wait, literally the next fight after I complain about never getting to keep fighting after he reraises, we get to keep fighting after he reraises? AWESOME. STOP READING MY NOTES, GAME.


dee-nee dee-nee-nee-nee DESTRUCTION. Caius, you suck.

OR POSSIBLY I'M JUST GROSSLY OVERPOWERED I guess that is also a possibility.


I SPEAK OF EVERY YEUL SO THERE

AND NOooow I guess you're dead or something? That was abrupt.


OH NO BAHAMUT ATTACK

OH NO WE'RE DROWNING

IT IS LIGHTNING!

Or maybe I DON'T KNOW GUYS is Lightning alive or dead or something else? Is that really her, or, I mean? If she's dead, who summoned Odin? If she's not dead, where is she?

Maybe Caius meant it literally when he said he's put her to sleep. She just needs a nap, guys, Christ, can't you look after yourselves for like five minutes? Seriously.


WHY ARE THERE THREE ANGRY BAHAMUTS SURROUNDING ME I DO NOT LIKE THIS SITUATION



Oh, okay, I only have to deal with two and then the one, not all three. And they are all kind of weak, because I am a perfectly reasonable level shut up.


WHAT. YOU ASS, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO REVIVE THEM WHEN I'M ABOUT TO KILL YOU! Arrrrgh.


There! I knew you'd be back!

Die die die die die die die die



Shit shit shit we've got a countdown CAN I KILL HIM BEFORE HE HITS THE END?? GOD WE ARE SO CLOSE COME ON GUYS COME ON COME ON COME OOOON



YES WE CAN! WHOOOO! Haha, I even five-starred that, despite having to fight them all twice. … wait, was that the final boss? BECAUSE IF SO, I SHOULD GET A TROPHY FOR FIVE STARRING EVERYONE.

Oh, I did just get a trophy. Haha. Or was that for beating the game? UNCERTAINTY!

… can I put the controller down now, or are they gonna Surpise! Cinematic Action! me?


Oh, I guess Caius wasn't really dead. Just kidding! CAIUS FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST GIVE IT UP.

ALSO YOU'RE A LIAR LIGHTNING IS IMMORTAL. I don't believe you. Haha. So there.


Okay, they are pulling a Surprise! Cinematic Action!, but they are pulling it in super slow motion, so despite my frantic scramble to throw my laptop across the room and pick the controller back up, I have actually had plenty of time.

Which is good, since I didn't actually throw my laptop, since it is a very fragile creature and all. I SHOW MERCY 'cause Noel doesn't want to kill him, so it would be unkind to force him to – DO LIKE THAT CAIUS, SEE, THAT WAS JUST UNKIND. YOU JERK.

Criminy.

At least that's over.

Can we find Lightning and have Fang and Vanille back now? … Also can Noel not disappear? Been kinda worried that that might happen, what with us destroying his timeline and all.

… They have said "Yeul" / "my Yeul" too many times and it has stopped sounding like a name. It's an odd situation to be in.

BUT HOW WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE??

LIGHTNING WENT HOME. 'Cause we fixed things. YEAH, like Noel said. We better boogey.

Wait, why do we have to be living 500 years in the future?? Why can't we just go home? If all that shit got fixed, shouldn’t it not really matter? WHAT ABOUT NEW BODHUM AND NORA AND SNOW THE CAT AND AND EVERYTHING?? (And, er, Real Snow, too, I guess. Though who knows where the hell he is…? Mog thinks he's in 500 AF, so, uh. Sure. BUT STILL. SERAH, WHAT ABOUT ALL YOUR STUDENTS?)

asdfjglkwh I AM UNSATISFIED. I mean, that's not actually the ending yet, but still.

asdfjglkwh



YAY VANILLE AND FANG GOT OUT! Even if they are still crystals. WHATEVER THEY'LL WAKE UP. I SAY SO.


Shiiiiit there goes Cocoon. Hey! Bathandealiowhateverguy! YOU FINALLY GOT WHAT YOU WANTED!! Congratulations!! :D :D


(Was that mean? I don't care if that was mean. He sucked.)


Poor Cocoon, though. ALSO THIS MEANS NO MORE SUNLETH. I DISAPPROVE.


And now new Cocoon – er, Ark? WHATEVER. Bhunivelze, apparently. It's in the air!


So, uh, that was. I guess I got all paranoid for nothing. …I am okay with that.

SAAAAAAZH!!

Look, shut up, I was almost completely denied the entire original cast and I LOVE THEM ALL DAMN IT I AM ALLOWED TO BE EXCITED AND GO SQUEE EVERY TIME ONE OF THEM APPEARS.

… er, no offense, Hope, just you were around the whole time, so you only got the glee once.


NO MORE GATES. Sorrow.



…. Serah? What the hell i


WHAT


WHAT NO YOU CAN'T

I


WHAT???


ALL MY SCREAMING HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL NO


GOD


DAMN


IT



THIS FUCKING CHEERFUL SONG AND AWJDSBKFEGRLASBJDKFLOR

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH



WAKE. UP. D:




…….. uh. And now it's gone all da--- MOG??

Yeah, Etro is dead THEY REALLY MEANT IT LIKE THAT oh my god we are so fucked.


NOEL YOU DIDN'T KILL HER YOU WERE USED IT WAS CAIUS DON'T FREAK OUT. WE HAVE OTHER THINGS TO BE FREAKING OUT OVER RIGHT NOW THAT IS NOT ONE OF THEM.



SQUARE ENIX THIS IS YOUR WORST FUCKING ENDING EVER WHAT WAS THAT WAHBJFSEKID


thank god they are planning on making another sequel holy shit I would just kneel over and die right now



ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff



FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.



I LITERALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS OTHER THAN TO GRAB MY HEAD IN MY HANDS AND MAKE INCOHERENT NOISES WITH MY MOUTH like I was for the last like five minutes it was really glamorous



FUCK THAT ENDING, OKAY?


AND NOW THEY DUMP ME BACK INTO THE HISTORIA CRUX GO AWAY I NEED TO GO FLAIL IN THE CORNER OR SOMETHING OH MY GOD


So, yeah, that just happened.

I guess later I will go look for more mysteries with my shiny new item/ability/thing, but for now it can wait.

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